Feeling a bit dull after my holiday....

I've just got back from a short trip to Germany yesterday- where me and my friends had a fantastic time. The lifestyles and differing cultures were so fascinating and we all had a great time.

Today, I feel very kind of empty and irritable- as well as tired. My other half has been nagging me on and off about housework and the usual-- and if it isn't right then god forbid-- its like the perpetual sort of 'take the trash out', 'put washing in dryer', but if I do it wrong its like another conversation about it or argument.

I love my girlfriend, and I appreciate that she's been working in her normal routine in life while I've been away- and she like head of the house, however, I just want her to get off my back you know?

It feels like she's my mother sometimes. She didn't even ask me how my holiday was and it wasn't as though she was overly-excited to hear it. Although she has stated she'd miss me.

Guess i'm depressed a bit because its like returning to normalcy, where people are un-phased and its like nothing has changed. Whereas I've had this massive taste for going on holiday independently somewhat of my parents.

I don't like this dull feeling, if I could live in a permanent state of spontaneity that would be great. I simply cannot afford to fund a life abroad or go travelling like some of my wealthier mates.

I think i'm just not happy or content with been content. My partner doesn't share my views or passion for travel and is quite happy with the run of the mill life, paying bills, mediocrity et cetera., I've always had ideas about life which are above my station and I guess I'm ambition isn't matching up to reality.

I guess I could maybe keep going on holiday to satisfy this empty gap.

Reply 1

asif007

19

This is exactly why having a gf/partner holds you back in life. Girls do not want to compromise on anything, hence they give you **** just for enjoying yourself. It sounds like she must be jealous that you went away on holiday and had a good time while she stayed at home - but that was her choice. I also think you're suffering a bit of post-holiday blues - we all get it when we have to go back to work and start our daily routine again after some time off. That's causing you a bit of stress but I can only imagine that your gf nagging you makes it 100 times worse. If I were you I'd tell her to STFU and let you do things in the house however you please. How can you put washing in the dryer in the wrong way? Is there a right way to do it? :redface:

Don't let her treat you like a doormat - she is not the head of the house and you should not let her behave like she is. Do things independently of her, give her the cold shoulder for a while and remind her that you have feelings too. Honestly mate I think you need to stand up to her a bit more and find other mutual interests with her if she doesn't want to travel.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by asif007

This is exactly why having a gf/partner holds you back in life. Girls do not want to compromise on anything, hence they give you **** just for enjoying yourself. It sounds like she must be jealous that you went away on holiday and had a good time while she stayed at home - but that was her choice. I also think you're suffering a bit of post-holiday blues - we all get it when we have to go back to work and start our daily routine again after some time off. That's causing you a bit of stress but I can only imagine that your gf nagging you makes it 100 times worse. If I were you I'd tell her to STFU and let you do things in the house however you please. How can you put washing in the dryer in the wrong way? Is there a right way to do it? :redface:

Don't let her treat you like a doormat - she is not the head of the house and you should not let her behave like she is. Do things independently of her, give her the cold shoulder for a while and remind her that you have feelings too. Honestly mate I think you need to stand up to her a bit more and find other mutual interests with her if she doesn't want to travel.

I kind of feel this way actually. Although, if I want to go and do something I'll do it- therefore it makes no odds as to whether she wants to do so, the real shame lies in the fact she doesn't share my passion for travel, therefore, its not something we can do together.

In an ideal world, I'd love for a partner to share these experiences with, and for the most part many couples do. Obviously, I can't force it upon her, and it is her choice.

A month or two before I went she cried at me, told me she didn't want me to go- and not to leave her side- and appeared to be sulking a bit. Upon me asking her further, she basically told me she is fearful for me. Because of all the terror attacks in Europe in recent times she didn't feel comfortable with me going- which I can understand anybody feeling this way-- the thing is, there was a small percentage of anything happening to me. I told her that she maybe was a bit jealous to which she denied and took offence to- and told me she wasn't interested in the idea of travel.

I absolutely agree with you on the Post-holiday blues. I think its significant enough for me to say that I am not really happy about where I am in life at the moment- career-wise, don't like the area I live and I guess this was one reason why I loved the adventure of travel. I've been doing things to try and change my situation- but thats another story.

She is causing me stress, and I'm getting irritable.

I dunno if she's fed up with me, or her own life in general or maybe she's feeling guilty or something, but its like I can't do anything right lately.

I live with her best mate and brother and so its hard for me to vent or talk to her without it probably turning into a 'its my fault' scenario.

The bit about the washing machine-- one time I put my belt in the washing machine, without the realisation that it may damage the washer-- it didn't, but that's not my point- she hounded me for it- and I felt silly. I mean, not everybody has made that mistake hence people don't always know. I don't like it when people say things like 'well its just common sense' as this is something people have to varying degrees.

She's just so cold right now and its really p*******g me off. I'm trying to reach out to her and be pleasant she's just so absent minded.

I didn't move across the country to live with her, in this s*****ty deprived area of the country, to work in a job that offers no real value, to then be treated like rubbish for having a break- and then her seemingly not been interested in me - y'know?

Sorry for ranting at you. It isn't your fault.

I'm under a bit more stress also, as my Mother phoned me while on holiday to say she's fallen very ill. I told my partner and although she showed some concern she was like 'well your mums a strong woman, and there are things they can do/procedures to help now'- in relation to her illness. Well yes, but that's hardly a sympathetic ear.

It's bad enough, I don't have any real mates here. I have people i socialise with on a basic level in work, and occasionally try hard to be interested in their lives- but they have like opposite interests and company culture is such that everyone is clichey.

The only real mates I have are back home, and my two close mates whom I just went on holiday with.

I'm skint, and pretty damn miserable now.

Reply 3

Changing Skies

22

Original post by asif007

This is exactly why having a gf/partner holds you back in life. Girls do not want to compromise on anything, hence they give you **** just for enjoying yourself. It sounds like she must be jealous that you went away on holiday and had a good time while she stayed at home - but that was her choice. I also think you're suffering a bit of post-holiday blues - we all get it when we have to go back to work and start our daily routine again after some time off. That's causing you a bit of stress but I can only imagine that your gf nagging you makes it 100 times worse. If I were you I'd tell her to STFU and let you do things in the house however you please. How can you put washing in the dryer in the wrong way? Is there a right way to do it? :redface:

Don't let her treat you like a doormat - she is not the head of the house and you should not let her behave like she is. Do things independently of her, give her the cold shoulder for a while and remind her that you have feelings too. Honestly mate I think you need to stand up to her a bit more and find other mutual interests with her if she doesn't want to travel.

Plenty of girls are willing to compromise, I'll have you know, and plenty are happy for you to do things you enjoy. But you can carry on putting all girls into one category and see where that gets you. :redface:

Original post by Anonymous

I kind of feel this way actually. Although, if I want to go and do something I'll do it- therefore it makes no odds as to whether she wants to do so, the real shame lies in the fact she doesn't share my passion for travel, therefore, its not something we can do together.

In an ideal world, I'd love for a partner to share these experiences with, and for the most part many couples do. Obviously, I can't force it upon her, and it is her choice.

A month or two before I went she cried at me, told me she didn't want me to go- and not to leave her side- and appeared to be sulking a bit. Upon me asking her further, she basically told me she is fearful for me. Because of all the terror attacks in Europe in recent times she didn't feel comfortable with me going- which I can understand anybody feeling this way-- the thing is, there was a small percentage of anything happening to me. I told her that she maybe was a bit jealous to which she denied and took offence to- and told me she wasn't interested in the idea of travel.

I absolutely agree with you on the Post-holiday blues. I think its significant enough for me to say that I am not really happy about where I am in life at the moment- career-wise, don't like the area I live and I guess this was one reason why I loved the adventure of travel. I've been doing things to try and change my situation- but thats another story.

She is causing me stress, and I'm getting irritable.

I dunno if she's fed up with me, or her own life in general or maybe she's feeling guilty or something, but its like I can't do anything right lately.

I live with her best mate and brother and so its hard for me to vent or talk to her without it probably turning into a 'its my fault' scenario.

The bit about the washing machine-- one time I put my belt in the washing machine, without the realisation that it may damage the washer-- it didn't, but that's not my point- she hounded me for it- and I felt silly. I mean, not everybody has made that mistake hence people don't always know. I don't like it when people say things like 'well its just common sense' as this is something people have to varying degrees.

She's just so cold right now and its really p*******g me off. I'm trying to reach out to her and be pleasant she's just so absent minded.

I didn't move across the country to live with her, in this s*****ty deprived area of the country, to work in a job that offers no real value, to then be treated like rubbish for having a break- and then her seemingly not been interested in me - y'know?

Sorry for ranting at you. It isn't your fault.

I'm under a bit more stress also, as my Mother phoned me while on holiday to say she's fallen very ill. I told my partner and although she showed some concern she was like 'well your mums a strong woman, and there are things they can do/procedures to help now'- in relation to her illness. Well yes, but that's hardly a sympathetic ear.

It's bad enough, I don't have any real mates here. I have people i socialise with on a basic level in work, and occasionally try hard to be interested in their lives- but they have like opposite interests and company culture is such that everyone is clichey.

The only real mates I have are back home, and my two close mates whom I just went on holiday with.

I'm skint, and pretty damn miserable now.

If you're not happy with her and feel she is holding you back then why stay with her? There's nothing wrong with having different interests to your partner, if she doesn't want to travel like you then so what? I'm sure there are plenty of other things you can enjoy doing together. You sound like you're bored and fed up in the relationship tbh, so maybe it would be the best thing for both of you in the long run to go separate ways.

I can't personally see why you're criticising her for being worried about you going, it's just a normal reaction. If she was jealous, then surely that'd show that she would enjoy travelling, yet you say she doesn't.

Either sit and down and talk to her about your feelings if you want this relationship to work, or end it. Complaining about her on a forum isn't going to solve any issues the two of you may have. It's good to vent your problems though, I suppose.

I'm sorry to hear you're under a lot of stress, it must be difficult, but that's why you need to do something about it. If you're bored, try and fix that. You love travelling, so maybe try and use that as a motive, if you can afford to go soon then great, do it! If not, save up, have something to work towards to make yourself happy. There's nothing worse than feeling stuck in life and fed up with what you have, so go out and do what you can with what you can!

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