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The Direct Dating Coach explains the Direct Approach mindset and how to apply it.

The Direct Dating Coach is back! After my massively long and popular thread on here a few months ago, I posted my thoughts on your responses to that thread in an extensive blog post on my website. Since then, I've been busy working on a Spanish translation of my website and ebooks (to be officially announced soon, btw).

Judging from a lot of the responses to that thread, it seems that amongst the TSR lot there is a lot of misunderstanding as to what the direct approach actually is, and much confusion about how to apply it, so I've decided to start this post to explain that. I still maintain that the best and most effective way to be successful with women is to use a very direct approach, and this post will give you the info and motivational kick you need to get started with it.

So let's begin. Get your crayons out because this post will contain lots of nuggets of wisdom for you, and you may like to make some notes....

I want to ask you a question.

Have you ever been interested in a girl and not told her?

You know, that time you wanted a girl and figured, “I’ll play the waiting game instead”?

I did one time for months. (Well before I was into the direct approach, I must add)

You know what happened?

She got a boyfriend who beat me to her.

To go into a little more detail on that though, I realized I’d wasted two months and told myself I wasn’t going to play games on any level or waste time ever again…I realized that it wasn’t worth giving away any control of the outcome to her. Instead, I vowed I would always be direct with every woman I'm attracted to.

IF I WANT SOMETHING I’M GOING TO GO IN AND TAKE IT LIKE A TRUE ALPHA MALE....AND THAT MEANS BEING DIRECT

I also learned something very important that day when I asked myself a very profound question…

“Why did I feel I had to wait to ask her? Why didn't I just walk in and take what I wanted?”

After I asked myself this question I began to wonder why I would ever waste time and give someone else a chance to step in and take away my chance.

And on that day I made a commitment to myself that I was NEVER going to wait around or play games again I was going to walk in, be the most powerful, dominant, aggressive person anywhere and take what I wanted.

And from that I began to take a direct approach to meeting women.

So what do you want in a solid approach?

Well the first thing you want to consider is this:

Anything you do women will assume you have some interest in them or you wouldn’t have approached.

Whether you approach telling her you like her, saying “hi”, asking for directions or for her opinion on something or whatever she’s going to know you had some interest in talking to her.

So why bother making excuses for why you’re there?

So now let’s break down a solid approach for you…

You want to make sure you are:

Personable

Noticeable

Natural

Confident

Straightforward

Easygoing

Clear about your intentions

On being clear about your intentions I’d like to explain a little bit more about what that means:

You could walk up to a woman and say in a humorous, lisped homosexual voice belt out, “you are so gorgeous I have to meet you” and you will probably find yourself getting a laugh out of a group of girls who aren’t even sure if you’re romantically interested in them.

However if you said in a confident and assured tone, “you are so gorgeous I have to meet you” it is almost a given that you would get a completely different response and there would be no question about your feelings toward her.

IT’S NOT ONLY WHAT YOU SAY, IT’S ALSO HOW YOU SAY IT.

This brings me to the cornerstone of the alpha approach to attracting women being direct and straightforward with a no-********, no-excuses attitude.

Ask most women what personality trait (besides confidence) they value most in a man and I bet my bottom dollar the answer will be honesty.

Remember what I said earlier about being unpredictable and unexpected?

The more predictable and boring you are the less of an impact you’ll make on her… a man who approaches a woman with total, raw confidence (no lines, no persona and no act) and lets a woman know he’s there to take what he wants, will stand out more than just about anything she’s ever seen.

If you want to be the most successful man you need to be the one who jumps in and takes what he wants with no excuses or apologies.

MORE TIME USED = MORE MISSED OPPORTUNITY

Let me give you an example, I’ve gone into situations where a guy was subtly trying to flirt with a woman and make small talk and casual conversation but he obviously was into her.

One example was at a bookshop not too long ago.

I was at the mall and saw a stunning blonde at a bookshop cafe who looked like she could have been on the cover of Maxim.

Guess what I did?

I walked in totally confident and got her attention away from him by simply taking charge and going straight up to her and whispered in her ear, “I noticed you from across the room, I think you’re absolutely gorgeous and I wanted to meet you.”

She stared wide-eyed at me and so blown away by this that she immediately began completely ignoring the other guy she had just met who was still acting like a “friend” toward her.

In fact, I actually said, “are you busy?”

And she replied, “no, this guy was just asking me about my book.”

I followed up with, “Let’s go get something to eat, I want to get to know you better.”

Then, I put my hand out she took it and got up.

Then she said, “nice meeting you” to the other guy as I walked away holding the hand of this stunning blonde who had guys approaching her day in and day out I got her and he didn’t.

The more unapologetic, confident, dominant and straightforward you are the higher you are going to be on the ladder.

Because that guy was lower than me on the alpha dominance scale and was wasting time trying to put up a front with her and act “polite” and “kind” to her I was able to jump in and beat him to the punch, sweep her off her feet and take her away.

Basically, he was trying to take things slow and work up to the point where he let her know he was interested in her whereas I just walked in with no excuses, let her know I was interested and took what I wanted.

I did a few things here that made me get her instead of the other guy:

I didn’t waste time

I didn’t play games

I didn’t make excuses

I was totally confident and straightforward

She got turned-on by my confidence (all women do)

I created sexual tension/chemistry from the second I saw her

She was used to guys approaching her quivering in their boots, acting cocky or trying to impress her I just acted real.

The more time you waste the more opportunities you give for something else (another guy, lost interest, ect) to set in and miss your chance.

Being a direct alpha male is about not wasting time playing games or “beating around the bush” with people.

Here is the key mindset you want to develop:

“If she had a boyfriend already and it didn’t matter what I said to her, what would I tell her?”

If she had a boyfriend I would naturally be as direct, straightforward, efficient and to-the-point as possible because I wouldn’t care about the outcome and there would be no use or benefit in wasting time or trying to be careful with what I say or playing games.

And from that I adopted the following mindset…

SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY

If you do that, there can be absolutely NO chance of lying, manipulation or anyone else playing games with you because you let them know where you stand…

MANIPULATION IS A TWO WAY STREET.

Being direct simplifies things by taking the complexities out of attracting women; how do I find out if she likes me? What can I do to win her over? How can I make things work more quickly?

You are not required to put in a bunch of time and effort to get a woman’s attraction and affections and then have to sit by and hear her tell you all about what a jerk her boyfriend is but how she can’t help but “love” him.

It’s about not trying to make excuses or convince a woman (consciously or subconsciously) to be attracted to you.

If you are genuine, open and honest with a woman things become much easier; you no longer need to lie, worry, fake or manipulate women for a half-hour just to see if you can run a successful “game”

I know this sounds crazy but women meet so few truly bold and blatantly confident men in their lives that guy who is willing to blatantly express his desires to a woman can be an incredible turn on. Women meet very few truly confident, self-assured, direct men.

When you are this direct with a woman it will many times send her nervous system into overdrive and she will often lose her footing but once she gets over the initial shock she will find a man’s boldness incredibly sexy; a woman knows upfront that you are an alpha male who makes no apologies for his desires as a man and doesn’t give two shits about being unconventional.

#1) Remember when I said women are attracted to confidence?

When you can be straightforward, no-******** and state your intentions honestly and openly with a woman you turn-on all of her attraction triggers with your alpha behavior.

#2) Remember when I said that manipulation is a two way street?

When you’re not trying to manipulate a woman, she is unable to manipulate or mess with you because you’re not playing any games.

Being directly honest cuts through the **** and completely eliminates the prerequisite “games” for attraction such as fluff conversation, finding excuses to talk to a woman, trying to impress her and trying to make her like you.

Moreover, it shows that you are an alpha male who drags a woman into your reality and not the other way around.

Every time you try to ask a woman’s opinion, for directions or some random thing you don’t really care about you’re being fake in hopes that it will please a girl and make her like the persona you’ve created.

When you cut through all the **** you can make a much more powerful impression and get a woman attracted to you in a matter of seconds.

It is all about giving a woman what she has secretly been wanting in a man all along: a confident man who is completely unafraid of speaking his mind and being confident. He is the man who tells her something totally unexpected and proves he’s more confident (and alpha) than any man she has ever met.

Using these techniques you make your intentions clear you walk in knowing what you want, what your goals are and what you are going to do to achieve it. So how do you approach this? Think of a marriage proposal; that’s how you want to approach. A woman dreams of the day a man will come along and be her prince. You go up to her and lay out your intentions right up front.

Now you’re probably thinking but what if she’s with friends, a phone or anything else? nothing else. You need to create the mindset that it is just you and her and you are about to walk in and sweep her off her feet. It should be your goal to maintain constant eye contact and really translate your alpha status to her. YOU ARE ABOUT TO MAKE HER DAY!

So why does this work?

I know most guys wouldn’t expect it to or they wouldn’t spend months and years acting like pussy-whipped little dogs just to get a girl to like them.

You need to understand that although you are primarily visually stimulated and it is often a non-negotiable factor in finding a partner you still will not find what you need in a woman’s looks alone.

The truth is that almost any attractive woman is going to know that a man who approaches her would sleep with her in an instant whether he conveys this or not.

Girls are far more socially adept than guys and even if she is the most airheaded blond in the world her subconscious mind is still sharp as a tack she has still had to learn how to function socially as an attractive woman.

The primary difference between those who are direct with their desires and intentions and those who are in indirect is that one form of communication lay’s everything out on the table and the other blankets your intent with a false one.

You can walk up to a woman and tell her that she’s just so cute you couldn’t control yourself but if you do it playfully the girl will laugh and wonder whether or not you were serious again it’s not about what you say but how you say it… If you say the exact same thing in a serious alpha manner you are conveying real emotion in your words and making your intentions perfectly clear.

However, if this is not done properly it can be followed with a girl being intrigued but not having enough attraction invested to warrant a second meeting so this is something that many men who are new to the direct approach will have to deal with.

Far too many men have been brainwashed to believe they need to approach a woman using a specific formula. But you don't. In the end you just need to be 100% real and direct.

If you have any questions on any of this, feel free to ask and I'll do my best to reply. Don't expect me to be on here as much as I was previously, as I'm busy with my band, and now it's the summer I'm also out and about meeting girls a lot. But I'll look forward to your replies.

Take care,

Neil K.
(edited 7 years ago)

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@hezzlington Our master is back lol.
hes back LOLOLOOL


weba man, its been longg
Original post by mariam687
hes back LOLOLOOL


weba man, its been longg


You've been desperate to learn those dating tips lol.
Original post by Rhythmical
You've been desperate to learn those dating tips lol.


pfft i dont need to know these dating tips lol

im a natural uc

u should kno that by now sana :wink:
how long did you spend writing all that :colone:
Original post by mariam687
pfft i dont need to know these dating tips lol

im a natural uc

u should kno that by now sana :wink:


I ain't seen you chasing around boys in here, you're too good for that :biggrin:
Original post by fatima1998
how long did you spend writing all that :colone:


The amount of scrolling I had to do was unreal, my fingers hurt now.
Original post by Rhythmical
I ain't seen you chasing around boys in here, you're too good for that :biggrin:


lol maybe im not a "natural"

Spoiler



ik im too good :smile:

wht r u doing on here then, eh? :wink:

uve already got an arranged marriage, these tips are useless 2 u m8
@acupofgreentea


Senpai has returned :excited:
Original post by mariam687
lol maybe im not a "natural"

Spoiler


ik im too good :smile:

wht r u doing on here then, eh? :wink:

uve already got an arranged marriage, these tips are useless 2 u m8


Because myself and OP have a great friendship thanks to the last thread :tongue:
Original post by Rhythmical
Because myself and OP have a great friendship thanks to the last thread :tongue:


lolol if u say so xD
Original post by mariam687
lolol if u say so xD


Grab some popcorn, this is going to be great. @nk802 Remember Dog Whine Gate?
Original post by Rhythmical
Grab some popcorn, this is going to be great. @nk802 Remember Dog Whine Gate?


i dont have any popcorn but i have this pink milk thing idk wht its called


tastes pretty gd with water aswelll :smile:
Original post by mariam687
i dont have any popcorn but i have this pink milk thing idk wht its called


tastes pretty gd with water aswelll :smile:


Never had it lol :tongue:
Reply 15
Original post by Rhythmical
Because myself and OP have a great sexual chemistry/sexual tension that needs to be resolved soon, thanks to the last thread and our very direct, erotic/dirty PMs :tongue:


I know. That's why you're still stalking me and still talking about me after all this time :wink:
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by nk802
I know. That's why you're still stalking me and still talking about me after all this time :wink:


Your Twitter picture is awfully weird and thanks for the edit of the post, don't sink so low. :smile:
Original post by Zargabaath
@acupofgreentea


Senpai has returned :excited:


Fortunate for you, to be honest. :console:

You have not been doing well at this catching a cup business without guidance. :teehee:
I just saw this really fit blond woman across the street. The dominate, alpha male side of me kicked into overdrive and all I could think about was making hot, passionate love to this woman.

I went up to her and, following the advice you have posted about being 100% honest and direct with a woman, said "I want to do you up the arse". She slapped me and ran away screaming for help.

What did I do wrong OP?
Reply 19
You obviously didn't follow my advice, because NOWHERE did I tell anyone to walk up to women and say 'I want to do you up the arse'. Nope. You have to be classier and use more finesse than that. Your example is too crude. You can use erotic/dirty talk...but you have to do it in a way that is seductive and a turn on to women, rather than a way that is crude and crass.

I said to let women know you find them attractive (or words to that effect), and then take it from there. Not walking up to them and saying **** like 'I want to do you up the arse'. Reread my post, and check out my blog and ebooks if you want more info on the direct approach.
(edited 7 years ago)

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