The Student Room Group

Colleague making me feel uncomfortable

Hi, I usually wouldn't post on here but have no idea what to do in my situation.
I recently started a new job and last week had a conversation with a middle aged male colleague. He was just making general conversation with me at the time but it did make me feel slightly uncomfortable. He added me on facebook and thinking nothing of it I accepted him. He began to message me general chit chat but it's unwelcome on my behalf and makes me feel very anxious. He has messaged me again this morning and I'm unsure of what to do. I don't want to be rude and be confronted about it by blocking him but also don't want this to carry on and continue making me anxious. Any advice?
Reply 1
Original post by 123b_
I don't want to be rude and be confronted about it by blocking him but also don't want this to carry on and continue making me anxious.


Blocking him would be rude asf - man over there just wants a chit chat now and again.

Select the option to appear offline for him on Facebook or run away to Arabia or something innit.
Original post by 123b_
Hi, I usually wouldn't post on here but have no idea what to do in my situation.
I recently started a new job and last week had a conversation with a middle aged male colleague. He was just making general conversation with me at the time but it did make me feel slightly uncomfortable. He added me on facebook and thinking nothing of it I accepted him. He began to message me general chit chat but it's unwelcome on my behalf and makes me feel very anxious. He has messaged me again this morning and I'm unsure of what to do. I don't want to be rude and be confronted about it by blocking him but also don't want this to carry on and continue making me anxious. Any advice?


I'd say don't read his facebook messages and don't reply. Pretend you don't use Facebook (chat) much and that you're super busy (so no time to reply to messages).

Try to avoid him at work. Also, if he asks you about your love life and even if you have no-one, pretend you do, or say you're interested in someone at uni / from school / from somewhere.

Sorry you feel like this. I know how it can feel (you wouldn't believe what I've experienced). Message me anytime if you'd like advice or anything.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by 123b_
Hi, I usually wouldn't post on here but have no idea what to do in my situation.
I recently started a new job and last week had a conversation with a middle aged male colleague. He was just making general conversation with me at the time but it did make me feel slightly uncomfortable. He added me on facebook and thinking nothing of it I accepted him. He began to message me general chit chat but it's unwelcome on my behalf and makes me feel very anxious. He has messaged me again this morning and I'm unsure of what to do. I don't want to be rude and be confronted about it by blocking him but also don't want this to carry on and continue making me anxious. Any advice?


If he's simply being friendly then I would slowly just stop replying online and hope he gets the hint. If he's getting creepy in terms of what he's saying then tell your manager or HR. If all else fails just straight up tell him you're not interested.
Reply 4
Original post by Quick-use
I'd say don't read his facebook messages and don't reply. Pretend you don't use Facebook (chat) much and that you're super busy (so no time to reply to messages).

Try to avoid him at work. Also, if he asks you about your love life and even if you have no-one, pretend you do, or say you're interested in someone at uni / from school / from somewhere.

Sorry you feel like this. I know how it can feel (you wouldn't believe what I've experienced). Message me anytime if you'd like advice or anything.


Thank you for your help, I'm gonna do this and hope for the best! It's so horrible how someone can make you feel uncomfortable and you still feel guilty!
Reply 5
Original post by Lucarious30
If he's simply being friendly then I would slowly just stop replying online and hope he gets the hint. If he's getting creepy in terms of what he's saying then tell your manager or HR. If all else fails just straight up tell him you're not interested.


Thank you for your help, hopefully he'll get the hint and it wont come to that! :smile:
Just don't reply. It's normal to chat to people at work and normal to add them on facebook but it's not normal to talk to them on messenger unless you're proper friends... he'll get the message soon enough.
Reply 7
Just mute the chat and restrict him from your fb. Make sure your public posts are not seen by him.
He will automatically understand and as an additional point guys will also ask why you have blocked them or ask sorry if they say they have disturbed you. D not take anything serious and tell him this is not what you like straight to a man's face.

Men are people who cannot speak indirectly like girls. Speaking straight with the exact point will let him know that you are pissed off with him clearly and he won't disturb you at all. Do all this at the initial stage. Otherwise, at a later stage you will be in trouble, I promise.

If you are still upset block him straight away and see him that he is offending you and *you don't have to say why or for what reason you are offended to him because he has to know it.
(edited 7 years ago)
Change the settings on your facebook so he's an acquaintance or something and can't see much of your profile.

Tell him you don't use facebook much so you'll talk to him at work. I wouldn't ignore it because there's only so much ignoring you can do if you are an active user.

If it helps I had someone from my old job who texts me literally everyday and I could literally strangle him, I don't ignore him. It is a tad rude and cowardly to do that in any situation. I just tell him straight I'm busy or I don't use my phone much (which is actually true). I hate that people think because you own a phone/are on social media they need to contact you 24/7 XD Maybe that's how he feels.

It is a bit much to work with someone and have them constantly message you whether on facebook or otherwise!

If he goes from general chit chat to straight up disgraceful tell him to stop, if he doesn't print off the messages, show them to your manager and delete/block him and don't feel bad.

Also..if someone makes you feel uncomfortable in person don't accept them on facebook/give them your number.

Quick Reply