I feel like I might have made a massive mistake re: my graduate job
Hi everyone, I wanted to get something off my chest and get some advice and I felt like this would be a great place to do so (apologies if this is in the wrong section/not appropriate).
A little background; I studied at a decent UK university about 2 hours away from home, moving to the city where the university was located. I thought I wanted to stay in the city where the university was, and so I began applying for jobs around January time. After quite a few applications to the seemingly limited number of jobs in the field I studied in (marketing) I eventually managed to get offered one in April that was seemingly relevant to my field of study.
I finished my final (3rd year) exams a few weeks ago at the end of May, and started my new job 4 days after my final exam. I'm still living in my student house for another few months (until I can move in with some friends). Where I'm working is about a 20 mile/40 minute drive each way, and so I'm having to leave at 7am to get there for the start of the day.
I've just finished (on friday) my first week, and I'm having some doubts regarding whether I've made a monumental error.
I think it took me 3 days before I essentially had a breakdown on the way to work (and that choose life speech from trainspotting began floating around in my head). I was wondering what on earth I was doing, and felt incredibly low and actually slightly sick at the prospect of doing this for the rest of my life.
The actual job isn't too strenuous, but I'm spending a lot of my time talking to people and being given menial tasks. I also feel like I've been mis-sold on some of the duties I'm required to do, and I have little room and oppurtunity to express myself creatively, something which I've always enjoyed doing.
I've been there only five days and I feel absolutely ridiculous complaining and whinging when people my age struggle to even get full time work anywhere. It makes me feel even worse that I've spent the last year and a half complaining about how much I dislike doing university work and how much I can't wait to finish and start earning. It has been a massive anticlimax, and I'm wondering what on earth I spent so long looking forward to. My friends and girlfriend have all moved home for the summer, and I probably won't be moving house until at least august. That gives me three months of waking up at 6am, driving to work, doing work, driving home and then cooking/cleaning/doing chores until it's time to go to bed at 10pm. No socialising and noone to talk to. I've never really had any mental health issues either, but on friday night I felt absolutely terrible and actually had what you would call a bit of a breakdown in front of my girlfriend, which was reasonably embarassing in itself.
I'm really thinking I should have just moved back home for a year, got a job there and saved up money until I can move in with my girlfriend. The rent, bills, council tax, food, petrol that I'm having to spend my money on here is going to take a massive amount out of my distinctly average paycheck Or maybe I should just move to a different country altogether? Either way the thought of doing what I'm doing at the moment forever makes me shudder, but I can't leave as it looks terrible on my CV if I jack something in after just a few months.
I wanted some advice from the knowledgable and experienced graduates (and non-graduates) in here on how long should I give it at this job before making a decision, and what should that decision be if you were in my shoes?
Sorry for the essay and thank you in advance!
A little background; I studied at a decent UK university about 2 hours away from home, moving to the city where the university was located. I thought I wanted to stay in the city where the university was, and so I began applying for jobs around January time. After quite a few applications to the seemingly limited number of jobs in the field I studied in (marketing) I eventually managed to get offered one in April that was seemingly relevant to my field of study.
I finished my final (3rd year) exams a few weeks ago at the end of May, and started my new job 4 days after my final exam. I'm still living in my student house for another few months (until I can move in with some friends). Where I'm working is about a 20 mile/40 minute drive each way, and so I'm having to leave at 7am to get there for the start of the day.
I've just finished (on friday) my first week, and I'm having some doubts regarding whether I've made a monumental error.
I think it took me 3 days before I essentially had a breakdown on the way to work (and that choose life speech from trainspotting began floating around in my head). I was wondering what on earth I was doing, and felt incredibly low and actually slightly sick at the prospect of doing this for the rest of my life.
The actual job isn't too strenuous, but I'm spending a lot of my time talking to people and being given menial tasks. I also feel like I've been mis-sold on some of the duties I'm required to do, and I have little room and oppurtunity to express myself creatively, something which I've always enjoyed doing.
I've been there only five days and I feel absolutely ridiculous complaining and whinging when people my age struggle to even get full time work anywhere. It makes me feel even worse that I've spent the last year and a half complaining about how much I dislike doing university work and how much I can't wait to finish and start earning. It has been a massive anticlimax, and I'm wondering what on earth I spent so long looking forward to. My friends and girlfriend have all moved home for the summer, and I probably won't be moving house until at least august. That gives me three months of waking up at 6am, driving to work, doing work, driving home and then cooking/cleaning/doing chores until it's time to go to bed at 10pm. No socialising and noone to talk to. I've never really had any mental health issues either, but on friday night I felt absolutely terrible and actually had what you would call a bit of a breakdown in front of my girlfriend, which was reasonably embarassing in itself.
I'm really thinking I should have just moved back home for a year, got a job there and saved up money until I can move in with my girlfriend. The rent, bills, council tax, food, petrol that I'm having to spend my money on here is going to take a massive amount out of my distinctly average paycheck Or maybe I should just move to a different country altogether? Either way the thought of doing what I'm doing at the moment forever makes me shudder, but I can't leave as it looks terrible on my CV if I jack something in after just a few months.
I wanted some advice from the knowledgable and experienced graduates (and non-graduates) in here on how long should I give it at this job before making a decision, and what should that decision be if you were in my shoes?
Sorry for the essay and thank you in advance!
(edited 7 years ago)
Ultimately I'd say if you're unhappy, leave.
Life is too short for you to be doing a job you're hating and not wanting to be at.
There isn't a deadline on deciding what you want to do with your life or what job etc.
I graduated, moved home. Worked various jobs and then returned to do another course. It's about doing what's right for you.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Life is too short for you to be doing a job you're hating and not wanting to be at.
There isn't a deadline on deciding what you want to do with your life or what job etc.
I graduated, moved home. Worked various jobs and then returned to do another course. It's about doing what's right for you.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by darkoo
.......
The above attitude is nonsense that will get you nowhere in life unless you want to live like a hippy forever. Just suck it up and stop panicking - every other working adult in the country has got through the first few weeks in a new job. At the moment, you've had one week of mild disappointment at the start of the next 60+ years of your life. That's one week v 60 years. One week, versus three times as long as your total life to date.
You won't be doing this job for the rest of your life - the format for modern careers is that people spend 2-3 years in any one role, then they get a promotion, change company, or shift role slightly. But almost every start is difficult, nerve-wracking and you feel useless while you can't even remember people's names or where the loos are!
If you can't stick things out for at least a year, even if they are dire, then eventually you are going to have to start living a very alternative lifestyle, because you aren't going to be conventionally employable. And the self-employed tend to be the most focussed, determined people, so that isn't an option without finding a passion.
Just make sure you have a weekend distraction or something to do a few nights of the week, and don't just mull over the next day in the office. It will almost certainly get a lot easier and more fulfilling, and it isn't a life sentence. It's probably a very sensible first step in the next 60 + years.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by threeportdrift
The above attitude is nonsense that will get you nowhere in life unless you want to live like a hippy forever. Just suck it up and stop panicking - every other working adult in the country has got through the first few weeks in a new job. At the moment, you've had one week of mild disappointment at the start of the next 60+ years of your life. That's one week v 60 years. One week, versus three times as long as your total life to date.
You won't be doing this job for the rest of your life - the format for modern careers is that people spend 2-3 years in any one role, then they get a promotion, change company, or shift role slightly. But almost every start is difficult, nerve-wracking and you feel useless while you can't even remember people's names or where the loos are!
If you can't stick things out for at least a year, even if they are dire, then eventually you are going to have to start living a very alternative lifestyle, because you aren't going to be conventionally employable. And the self-employed tend to be the most focussed, determined people, so that isn't an option without finding a passion.
Just make sure you have a weekend distraction or something to do a few nights of the week, and don't just mull over the next day in the office. It will almost certainly get a lot easier and more fulfilling, and it isn't a life sentence. It's probably a very sensible first step in the next 60 + years.
You won't be doing this job for the rest of your life - the format for modern careers is that people spend 2-3 years in any one role, then they get a promotion, change company, or shift role slightly. But almost every start is difficult, nerve-wracking and you feel useless while you can't even remember people's names or where the loos are!
If you can't stick things out for at least a year, even if they are dire, then eventually you are going to have to start living a very alternative lifestyle, because you aren't going to be conventionally employable. And the self-employed tend to be the most focussed, determined people, so that isn't an option without finding a passion.
Just make sure you have a weekend distraction or something to do a few nights of the week, and don't just mull over the next day in the office. It will almost certainly get a lot easier and more fulfilling, and it isn't a life sentence. It's probably a very sensible first step in the next 60 + years.
Cheers for your reply, helps put it into perspective definitely. Went in today and it wasn't that bad. At least I'll have a job that's relevant to marketing on my CV I guess! Just feel a bit isolated and alone in a sense, but oh well, probably be better when I move out of this shithole of a house.
At least you have a job, and a car. You are an adult. I feel like a pathetic excuse for a human amt im 21 just finished my 4 year degree with no job lined up and feeling like utter ****.
You might have issues but you have an income a car(I cant even afford a license) and a future, me on the other hand all I have is a deep pain in my brain where I fill in countless job applications daily with the certainty of their futility. All my life education has been touted to me as a sort of lighthouse in the distance but now ill probably graduate in July with no job and no future
. Ill probably have to get on minimum wage; something I could have done about 6 years ago without wasting my life studying. I am grateful the UK has given me the basics to survive but poverty is relative and I feel like I am just a tumour slowly growing myself to death.
Work your ass of man and make me proud I know you can do it. Take my energy you will make it.
You might have issues but you have an income a car(I cant even afford a license) and a future, me on the other hand all I have is a deep pain in my brain where I fill in countless job applications daily with the certainty of their futility. All my life education has been touted to me as a sort of lighthouse in the distance but now ill probably graduate in July with no job and no future
. Ill probably have to get on minimum wage; something I could have done about 6 years ago without wasting my life studying. I am grateful the UK has given me the basics to survive but poverty is relative and I feel like I am just a tumour slowly growing myself to death. Work your ass of man and make me proud I know you can do it. Take my energy you will make it.
Well, first of all, well done on having a job in (I'm assuming) an industry which seems to be the one you want to work in over the long term. I think you need to keep the bigger picture in mind here... your isolation from friends appears to be short term and WILL NOT be forever. Your dislike of work is short term and WILL NOT be forever: view this job as a stepping stone for a better job in a year's time once you've built experience up. Always remember to milk your employer for every bit of experience you can and, when you think you're bucket's full, move on. Keep that bigger, longer term picture in mind. Yes, you'll have to endure a bit of hardship in the short term. But as I say, it will not be forever. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.
I'd stick it out personally.
The drive isn't that much. I live in Scotland, the main city nearest me is Glasgow - I live 27 miles away: 35 minutes drive; 40 minutes on the train. I travel to work every day and like you have to get up early.
It's not that dificult though, I actually enjoy the journey.
However if it is the work that is straining you then long-term it won't be good. Try looking for something right away but stay here the now.
I was in a situation similar to you whereby I had to cover for a month or two a 30 hour contract AND attend university - both of which are in Glasgow. Therefore I left when it was dark and got home when it was dark.
Best thing to do is treat yourself - especially at the weekend and try and get out at least once a week. Maybe even visit the doctors if you're stressed man.
It's a small blip - a hard one but I'm sure you'll get over it. You'd probably regret quitting.
Hope it works out well.
The drive isn't that much. I live in Scotland, the main city nearest me is Glasgow - I live 27 miles away: 35 minutes drive; 40 minutes on the train. I travel to work every day and like you have to get up early.
It's not that dificult though, I actually enjoy the journey.
However if it is the work that is straining you then long-term it won't be good. Try looking for something right away but stay here the now.
I was in a situation similar to you whereby I had to cover for a month or two a 30 hour contract AND attend university - both of which are in Glasgow. Therefore I left when it was dark and got home when it was dark.
Best thing to do is treat yourself - especially at the weekend and try and get out at least once a week. Maybe even visit the doctors if you're stressed man.
It's a small blip - a hard one but I'm sure you'll get over it. You'd probably regret quitting.
Hope it works out well.
(edited 7 years ago)
Sounds like a normal adult job.
Stick with it, gain the experience for your CV and move on in time.
If the tasks are menial, tell your boss that and ask for more responsibility or challenge.
If you won't want to get stuck into the sleep, eat, work, repeat routine, then fill it with other things (gym, hobbies, socialising, making new friends etc)
You're at the bottom of the pile in a massive career. We all have to start somewhere and 99% of the time, it's boring and as crap as you've described. Perseverance will reward you.
Stick with it, gain the experience for your CV and move on in time.
If the tasks are menial, tell your boss that and ask for more responsibility or challenge.
If you won't want to get stuck into the sleep, eat, work, repeat routine, then fill it with other things (gym, hobbies, socialising, making new friends etc)
You're at the bottom of the pile in a massive career. We all have to start somewhere and 99% of the time, it's boring and as crap as you've described. Perseverance will reward you.
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