Need advice
Long story short, my boyfriend or ex boyfriend and I have been having a lot of problems lately, a little background info, I'm a very old school kind of person in terms of sex, I stayed a virgin up until now (I'm 20) even though I had plenty of opportunities to lose my virginity, it's because I've always thought of it as, you have your virginity once in a lifetime so you should lose it to the person you'll spend your life with, that was just my way of life/ thinking/ morals and I never thought I'd give it up for anyone. Back to my boyfriend, he was also a virgin, we'd been talking about having sex a lot but never actually did because even though I wanted to I always had the bigger picture/ my morals in the back of my mind, because of all the problems we were having like an idiot I thought maybe it would fix things or make him have some kind of attachment to me, so we had sex and I felt like I made a big mistake and went against everything I believed in, but I loved him and we have spoken about getting married a lot, his family knew that's what we wanted at some point etc, one month on, after a lot of problems we were still having he messages me saying his dad won't allow him to choose who he will marry and his dad will choose instead (which I've come to the conclusion was just an excuse to break up but I'm not entirely sure) sounds like bs right? Anyways he went on to tell me how he no longer cared about anything, not his family, not us, nothing, he just wants to take life as it is and have fun with no responsibilities or attachments to me or anything, it was such a big slap in the face, I know it sounds like he used me but believe me he wasn't like that it's like he was a different heartless person speaking to me at that point, and now there's no talking sense into him, he just wants to 'chill' have fun like a little immature boy and not deal with anything serious in life, after a long winded argument we broke up for good, my sister said maybe he was having cold feet but honestly I don't know what to make of it.I just wanted some advice on what to do, and how to get over someone you lost your virginity to sad smile I'm sure at some point he'll come running back, but the thought of him with another girl in the meantime is just sickening, especially if they had sex. Just feel like I've given someone everything (because believe me in our whole relationship he did nothing, I put his happiness above mine always and he never even bothered to ask how I was ever) and now he's just left just like that like it meant nothing. Need some helpful advice
Original post by Anonymous
I know it sounds like he used me but believe me he wasn't like that it's like he was a different heartless person speaking to me at that point, and now there's no talking sense into him, he just wants to 'chill' have fun like a little immature boy and not deal with anything serious in life, after a long winded argument we broke up for good, my sister said maybe he was having cold feet but honestly I don't know what to make of it.I just wanted some advice on what to do, and how to get over someone you lost your virginity to sad smile I'm sure at some point he'll come running back, but the thought of him with another girl in the meantime is just sickening, especially if they had sex. Just feel like I've given someone everything (because believe me in our whole relationship he did nothing, I put his happiness above mine always and he never even bothered to ask how I was ever) and now he's just left just like that like it meant nothing. Need some helpful advice
1. He is only 20, so no surprise he doesnt wnat to get married or be serious. He isnt ready to sele down and wnats to explore things in life.
2. If it was all as one way as you sggest, then why would you get upset over someone as selfish as that? Why would you even want to marry someone, where you had to make all the effort. It would seem like a good escape.
Sometimes when you put such pressure and hope in something e.g. sex, guys would use that as a challenge. And now that you have slept together, he realises that is not what he wants. At 20, there are only a handful of guys who want to settle down, and it seems like he wasn't one. He doesn't deserve you. Keep your head high, sex is still special and the person who you end up with, will know that, and respect you for it.
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