How can i get my son to study harder and longer

Good Morning Folks

My son is in year 10 at school and will be having end of year exams in a few weeks’ time. He seems to do his homework and a bit of revision every evening, but looking at his recent grades, I am not convinced that he is fully concentrating on revising the material that the teacher has taught.

I have advised him to write down things so that he can remember them for longer. However, he continually insists on just reading the subject material from his exercise books and says he can just as easily remember the material learned this way. I have even suggested to him to learn a topic or paragraph and I will ask him questions regarding the material learned so to that I am convinced that he is understanding the subject. He is totally against that idea and says it is like being back at school. He seems to have an answer for everything, and I don’t know if it is his age or phase he is going through. Most of his grades are usually average or just below average. He seems to get the idea that if he studies harder and gets good grades then I will somehow benefit from the hard work and effort that he has put in. I have tried to explain that getting good grades would eventually help him to get into a good university and increase his prospects of getting a good career/job. However, that type of talk goes in through one ear and out through the other.

Can someone please advise how I go about resolving this problem?

Thank You.

Reply 1

shawn_o1

21

Sadly, grades mean nothing in the real world. That's coming from a first-class graduate with only three months of experience in the year after graduation.
Maybe he's more interested in looking for work over the summer? Maybe he thinks he'll learn more from a job than reading books?

Reply 2

claireestelle

22

He could be right and that write things down doesn't work for him, it's always been absolutely useless as a learning method for me. Maybe encourage him to do some more active learning like flash cards?

Reply 3

Twinpeaks

18

Just a warning, pushy parenting often backfires. He's doing a bit every evening, that is perfectly acceptable for a GCSE student.

Reply 4

Puddles the Monkey

21

@geek84

Hello,

I've moved this to the area of the site for parents - you will hopefully get some more constructive replies here :h:

(edited 7 years ago)

OP

Thank You.

Original post by Puddles the Monkey

@geek84

Hello,

I've moved this to the area of the site for partens - you will hopefully get some more constructive replies here :h:

Passive aggressive with the last bit?
:h:

Reply 7

Tootles

21

Original post by geek84

Good Morning Folks

My son is in year 10 at school and will be having end of year exams in a few weeks’ time. He seems to do his homework and a bit of revision every evening, but looking at his recent grades, I am not convinced that he is fully concentrating on revising the material that the teacher has taught.

I have advised him to write down things so that he can remember them for longer. However, he continually insists on just reading the subject material from his exercise books and says he can just as easily remember the material learned this way. I have even suggested to him to learn a topic or paragraph and I will ask him questions regarding the material learned so to that I am convinced that he is understanding the subject. He is totally against that idea and says it is like being back at school. He seems to have an answer for everything, and I don’t know if it is his age or phase he is going through. Most of his grades are usually average or just below average. He seems to get the idea that if he studies harder and gets good grades then I will somehow benefit from the hard work and effort that he has put in. I have tried to explain that getting good grades would eventually help him to get into a good university and increase his prospects of getting a good career/job. However, that type of talk goes in through one ear and out through the other.

Can someone please advise how I go about resolving this problem?

Thank You.

It's GCSE; not the end of the world if your son comes out "merely" average. After all, most people do. Good marks at GCSE don't mean anything at all, except in the cases of any subjects your son wants to do at A level - and even they only actually need to be average. I got into sixth form on 5 Cs. No, I'm not proud of that particularly, but I did what I needed to and got where I wanted to.

As far as jobs and career go, most of the good ones nowadays revolve around either degrees or vocational qualifications. That being the case, I'd honestly say that if he is content with Cs - which will get onto the next rung of the ladder - then you have no right not to be. For one thing, it's his life; for another, it's his lesson to learn.

Like someone else already said, your son is doing his work and revising every day. Let that be enough until he decides for himself to do more, otherwise you'll just piss him off and put him off.

Reply 8

Puddles the Monkey

21

Original post by Twinpeaks

Passive aggressive with the last bit?
:h:

It's the " :h:

" smiley. Makes everything seem passive aggressive :lol:

OP

Thanks Tootles

Original post by geek84

Thanks Tootles

Never met a parent ON TSR :K:

How do you find TSR?

Reply 11

Elivercury

16

Harder and longer? I'm certain I've got dozens of emails offering solutions just for that.

But on a serious note, you can't really force your son to do anything and he is not going to be mature enough to understand the logic of "this may hamper your prospects in 3-5 years". Pick your battles and make those battles over C's minimum in English/Maths. Those genuinely will hamper your son, while the rest he can work around. Personally it wasn't until I bombed my As levels that I took studying seriously (I passed with modes GCSEs but nothing exciting). It's never done me any harm.

Frankly the fact he is doing his homework and a bit of revision is probably more than most students.

Reply 12

Doones

21

Original post by PrincessBO$$

Never met a parent ON TSR :K:

How do you find TSR?

We are everywhere...

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 13

twentystraveller

18

Try and make the experience of studying interesting, most kids don't like reading or doing past paper questions, so encourage him to watch videos on youtube. There are more than plenty revision and topic videos online which can also help kids understand topics they are confused with, hence may be a reason why your son doesn't want to revise as much. I have a few friends who need motivation to revise, this could be money/pocket money or food like small snacks.

I hope this helps.

Reply 14

the bear

20

Original post by geek84

Good Morning Folks

My son is in year 10 at school and will be having end of year exams in a few weeks’ time. He seems to do his homework and a bit of revision every evening, but looking at his recent grades, I am not convinced that he is fully concentrating on revising the material that the teacher has taught.

I have advised him to write down things so that he can remember them for longer. However, he continually insists on just reading the subject material from his exercise books and says he can just as easily remember the material learned this way. I have even suggested to him to learn a topic or paragraph and I will ask him questions regarding the material learned so to that I am convinced that he is understanding the subject. He is totally against that idea and says it is like being back at school. He seems to have an answer for everything, and I don’t know if it is his age or phase he is going through. Most of his grades are usually average or just below average. He seems to get the idea that if he studies harder and gets good grades then I will somehow benefit from the hard work and effort that he has put in. I have tried to explain that getting good grades would eventually help him to get into a good university and increase his prospects of getting a good career/job. However, that type of talk goes in through one ear and out through the other.

Can someone please advise how I go about resolving this problem?

Thank You.

it all ends up with carrot or stick.... you can reward him for extra effort/good marks by giving access to computers etc or money... you can punish him by withdrawing those benefits.

Reply 15

Alexion

17

Doing work every evening is much more than I was doing in year 10 :yep:

Reply 16

Jabz257

9

I think perhaps you need to talk to him about what subject areas he finds interesting and talk about careers that may interest him. From that I would ask that you do your own research on what your local colleges entry criteria is (or other colleges), start looking into apprenticeships and start looking at what route your son would need to go down (a-level subjects) if he wanted to go uni. Then sit down with him and share all this knowledge. For example, say you find an accounting apprenticeship, then sit down with him and talk him through it, the money that he can earn at such a young age at a good apprenticeship should very much motivate him. But do ensure he start to take a lead on his career in the coming years and try not to force his into any areas. There so many types of jobs available and I would ask that you try ensure that your son is aware of them, when I was young I didn't think of graphics roles, video gaming roles etc it was just law, doctor, accounting etc. Maybe even sign him upto summer courses that he can take part it. But ultimately you need to guide him, not push him, onto a stepping stone and let me him start taking control.

Reply 17

Elivercury

16

Also, when he is old enough have him get a crappy minimum wage job. That tends to encourage you to succeed.

Reply 18

CrazyKittenLady

20

What about providing assentives for getting better grades ? for example £100 for every 'A' £50 for a 'B' and '£25' for a 'C' I know this is a expensive example but there could be a better example I just cant think of one at the moment, and i also know it sounds abit like bribory but think of it a a 'work bonus' for reaching targets x

Reply 19

dirtmother

8

Y10 exams might be the ideal time to say "OK" and back off and see what happens as, despite what has been said so far, future exams are going to matter more.

Does the school do any kind of revision workshops for parents and students? Sometimes it comes better from teachers than parents and it helps if the same thing has been said to both parent and student.

People do learn and revise in different ways... but there's plenty of evidence that just reading through notes or going mad with a highlighter isn't going to cut it.

It's not you he needs to convince he's done the work and understands it... it is his examiners. What did the teachers say about him at the last consultation? Does it sound as though he's worked during the course... whilst revision is important exam preparation, it often can't compensate for a lack of consistent work through the year.

How can i get my son to study harder and longer

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