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Is protective considered bad?

ie, How would you expect your partner to react if you were being flirted with?

Would you expect them to react the same if it was happening online as opposed to in person?

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If it were harmless flirting and my partner wasn't responding to it, in all honesty it wouldn't really bother me, I'd expect them to be able to make their relationship status clear if they need to, I would feel any need to protect them from something like that lol
(edited 7 years ago)
I would expect my gf to not do anything, as I could not be with a jealous woman
Depends on what level of protection. Flirting is pretty harmless, unless it was more. Not sure what you are describing is protective, sounds more like jealousy and controlling. You dont give any impression the flirting is unwanted or threatening.
(edited 7 years ago)
i would probably beat up the person flirting with her
People don't need protected from being complimented or having a nice conversation. That's being jealous/controlling.

Protecting from harassment/unwanted advances is a totally different matter of course.
Original post by Blondie987
If this harmless flirting and my partner wasn't responding to it, in all honesty it wouldn't really bother me, I'd expect them to be able to make their relationship status clear if they need to, I would feel any need to protect them from something like that lol


What if they weren't committing to flirting back, but you could also tell they were enjoying it?

I suppose, to what level would you think about stepping in on something happening?

Original post by 999tigger
Depends on what level of protection. Flirting is pretty harmless, unless it was more. Not sure what you are describing is protective, sounds more like jealousy and controlling.
Original post by Lucarious30
What if they weren't committing to flirting back, but you could also tell they were enjoying it?

I suppose, to what level would you think about stepping in on something happening?


If they were encouraging it then I would probably tell them it made me uncomfortable but if they were just acting flattered, I'd be happy for them, to me flirting is just playful, nothing to get upset about
Original post by Lucarious30
ie, How would you expect your partner to react if you were being flirted with?

Would you expect them to react the same if it was happening online as opposed to in person?


My ex would give me a *******ing because she was so jealous and insecure of girl's alleged attempts to flirt with me. What she couldn't see was that they were just friends. This was online. In real life I had to steer clear of women because I'd automatically be accused of having a crush on them; made it difficult to work with some of my colleagues who were female.

Protectiveness is a good thing, but overwhelming jealousy is not, so it's best not to mix them up.
Original post by Blondie987
If it were harmless flirting and my partner wasn't responding to it, in all honesty it wouldn't really bother me, I'd expect them to be able to make their relationship status clear if they need to, I would feel any need to protect them from something like that lol


What's harmless flirting?
Original post by xobeauty
What's harmless flirting?


Just talking playfully, not seriously and having a laugh
Original post by Lucarious30
What if they weren't committing to flirting back, but you could also tell they were enjoying it?

I suppose, to what level would you think about stepping in on something happening?


If your oartner isnt doing anything, then they are passive. It then depends what the other side is doing. If they are doing soemthing more than flirting, then they would be out of order.

Is it your job to step in? Not imo, its the responsibiliy of your partner to say they arent interested or ask the other party to desist.
Original post by Lucarious30
What if they weren't committing to flirting back, but you could also tell they were enjoying it?


And? Enjoying a bit of flirting is hardly being caught in the middle of an orgy.
Aha, sounds like my ex too!

Luckily the relationship I'm in now is a lot more comfortable and laid back, though the appropriate steps to take if I feel someone to be a threat feels a blur!
Original post by Lucarious30
Aha, sounds like my ex too!

Luckily the relationship I'm in now is a lot more comfortable and laid back, though the appropriate steps to take if I feel someone to be a threat feels a blur!


It's unfortunate really, as insecurity is a death sentence for any relationship. I dated a girl for a month who actually noticed I avoided looking at other women when around her and she asked me about it. When I explained my experiences, she laughed, told me how pathetic my ex was and that she didn't mind at all. That kind of made me realize how badly treated I was, but hey-ho.

Very glad to hear you're in a much stable relationship. All the best with that! :smile:
If a guy catcalled me then being protective is fine
Original post by Elivercury
And? Enjoying a bit of flirting is hardly being caught in the middle of an orgy.


Original post by Blondie987
Just talking playfully, not seriously and having a laugh


I think in some ways flirting over the internet can be just as bad as kissing someone. Flirting can take a lot more thought and planning behind it so can somewhat be just as intimate.
Original post by saraxh
If a guy catcalled me then being protective is fine


Would you expect them to ask you if they can get involved or would you expect them to get involved instinctively?
Original post by Blondie987
Just talking playfully, not seriously and having a laugh


I can't see how any type of flirting is ok. Flirting is flirting.
Original post by Lucarious30
I think in some ways flirting over the internet can be just as bad as kissing someone. Flirting can take a lot more thought and planning behind it so can somewhat be just as intimate.


Right, lets be honest here, you're not being protective or discussing when you should be protective. You're discussing when they are overstepping a line and you can be angry with them.

That line is for you and your partner to decide and depends fully on your relationship. For some people flirting will be considered cheating, for others having sex with strangers is absolutely fine provided they keep each other informed.

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