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What is the best way to tell a guy that I have lost interest?

I used to be really into him; I flirted and teased, spent several hours chatting with him non-stop.

Fast forward months later and a lot has happened. I have changed my mind about him and the attraction is mostly gone on my end but not his. I don't want to end up leading him on and need him to know that nothing else is going to happen.

The thing is: I suck at letting people down and end up feeling full of guilt. People have played on my guilt in the past to manipulate me. What is the best way to put a stop to this and have some peace of mind?
Original post by WBZ144
I used to be really into him; I flirted and teased, spent several hours chatting with him non-stop.

Fast forward months later and a lot has happened. I have changed my mind about him and the attraction is mostly gone on my end but not his. I don't want to end up leading him on and need him to know that nothing else is going to happen.

The thing is: I suck at letting people down and end up feeling full of guilt. People have played on my guilt in the past to manipulate me. What is the best way to put a stop to this and have some peace of mind?


Whatever has caused the change in mind - explain it to him.
poor guy
Since you're having problems taking the honest route, you can do it the " cowardly" way and just ignore him till he gets it.
Reply 4
Avatar for chikane
chikane
20
Original post by WBZ144
I used to be really into him; I flirted and teased, spent several hours chatting with him non-stop.

Fast forward months later and a lot has happened. I have changed my mind about him and the attraction is mostly gone on my end but not his. I don't want to end up leading him on and need him to know that nothing else is going to happen.

The thing is: I suck at letting people down and end up feeling full of guilt. People have played on my guilt in the past to manipulate me. What is the best way to put a stop to this and have some peace of mind?


No wonder you lost interest if you spent several hours chatting to him! Jeez. Distance yourself from him reduce your calls or messages and if he asks why you not responding just be honest.
Original post by WBZ144
I used to be really into him; I flirted and teased, spent several hours chatting with him non-stop.

Fast forward months later and a lot has happened. I have changed my mind about him and the attraction is mostly gone on my end but not his. I don't want to end up leading him on and need him to know that nothing else is going to happen.

The thing is: I suck at letting people down and end up feeling full of guilt. People have played on my guilt in the past to manipulate me. What is the best way to put a stop to this and have some peace of mind?


Just tell him you don't want to speak to him anymore
Reply 6
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
[QUOTE=xobeauty;65891154]Since you're having problems taking the honest route, you can do it the " cowardly" way and just ignore him till he gets it.
This is a very unpleasant approach, particularly if the relationship has been good. In my experience the bad treatment leading up to being dumped is worse than the dumping.
Reply 7
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
-Avoid a prolonged period where it's obvious things have cooled a this is a horrible time if you are in love
-Face to face
-Honest as possible but avoid cliches. I think, 'I've decided I don't want to be in a relationship' is ok. Listen and respond to what he has to say before you go.
-Be kind after, providing he's accepted the message

No easy way, but I think this makes it as humane as possible.
Reply 8
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
[QUOTE=hezzlington;65891086]Whatever has caused the change in mind - explain it to him.
Girls never know this. And if they do it's probably quite unpalatable eg I prefer your best friend
Original post by WBZ144
I used to be really into him; I flirted and teased, spent several hours chatting with him non-stop.

Fast forward months later and a lot has happened. I have changed my mind about him and the attraction is mostly gone on my end but not his. I don't want to end up leading him on and need him to know that nothing else is going to happen.

The thing is: I suck at letting people down and end up feeling full of guilt. People have played on my guilt in the past to manipulate me. What is the best way to put a stop to this and have some peace of mind?


How can you just lost interest????
Probably because the guy was too forward too soon and ended up acting all needy. She probably began to distance herself but he kept pursuing and voila. He should've kept it cool.

In those long chats he probably gave away too much about himself and opened up far too much so the 'challenge' was over too quickly for OP. Hence OP, you need to be harsh on him - otherwise he won't learn from this and you'll continue to feel guilty about being more honest
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by ckfeister
How can you just lost interest????


There are lots of things we consider to be turn-offs which can cause someone to lose interest. I don't want to go into detail out of respect for him but that's what happened in my case.
You should tell him you wasted his time because you are a shallow *****
Original post by Anonymous
You should tell him you wasted his time because you are a shallow *****


You don't know the full story, no need post anonymously.
Original post by WBZ144
You don't know the full story, no need post anonymously.


I can post how ever I like you control freak
Reply 15
Avatar for ANM775
ANM775
20
Original post by WBZ144
I used to be really into him; I flirted and teased, spent several hours chatting with him non-stop.

Fast forward months later and a lot has happened. I have changed my mind about him and the attraction is mostly gone on my end but not his. I don't want to end up leading him on and need him to know that nothing else is going to happen.

The thing is: I suck at letting people down and end up feeling full of guilt. People have played on my guilt in the past to manipulate me. What is the best way to put a stop to this and have some peace of mind?



next time you see him, sit him down, clear you throat ...and say

At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
Without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along

[*start doing a little 2-step at this point]


And so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here
With that sad look upon your face.....

and continue on ....maybe get a little tambourine action in there too.

trust me, he'll get the message :wink:
Original post by WBZ144
I used to be really into him; I flirted and teased, spent several hours chatting with him non-stop.

Fast forward months later and a lot has happened. I have changed my mind about him and the attraction is mostly gone on my end but not his. I don't want to end up leading him on and need him to know that nothing else is going to happen.

The thing is: I suck at letting people down and end up feeling full of guilt. People have played on my guilt in the past to manipulate me. What is the best way to put a stop to this and have some peace of mind?


Just be honest. Tell him your not into him anymore and why you're not. It might make him feel a little awkward for a bit but if you guys keep talking like normal you'll forget about it.
Friendzone him.

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