Is it normal a straight guy to feel uneasy around homosexuality?

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It is interesting to read this thread and replace every instance of "homosexual" with "black". Then you might understand how this kind of discussion could be viewed in 10 or 20 years ;p

Edit: select quotes:

"Is it normal for a white guy to feel uneasy around blackness?"

"I just get this feeling whenever I see blacks making out or whatever. I wouldn't say disgust, because that's a pretty vile way of describing love, I just guess it's because I'm white that I feel this way."

"Expressing tolerance is now "mildly" racist.

Jesus."

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 41

oversizedcarrot

Yes.

Personally, I just don't care. Whatever, I'd rather not watch but I mean I'm not going to go around telling the LGBT community to not get off with each other. I would just mind my own business and talk to someone or carry on about my day. The question is, would a non-straight man feel disgust if they saw a woman and a man getting off, or a woman and another woman?

When it comes to sexuality its normal to feel disgust or nothing at all. It's an emotional indicator. Just be mature about it and don't start saying the LGBT community are offending you because they have found some kind of emotional connection. And now want to get married and you are outraged by this. That's when expressing your orientation becomes hatred. There is also such a thing as being straightophobic, but is less common. That's my opinion.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 42

Anonymous #1

Original post by eniet

It is interesting to read this thread and replace every instance of "homosexual" with "black". Then you might understand how this kind of discussion could be viewed in 10 or 20 years ;p

You could also replace it with 'Eniet' and 'Cornflakes'.

Reply 43

Ladbants

They're allowed to kiss- it is not against the law in the UK. Just close your eyes if you don't like it.

Reply 44

lucabrasi98

Original post by ivybridge

Then he is not gay. He's choosing to sleep with men - there is a difference.

If he is genuinely attracted to men then he has always been either bisexual or homosexual.

Please explain the difference. What makes him "genuinely" attracted to them? I'm pretty sure he's the best judge of his own sexuality, rather than random people on TSR.

Also, read my edit.

Reply 45

Anonymous #2

Original post by lucabrasi98

Idk. One of my friends is gay and he says chose to start dating guys one day since he was tired of girls. Not everything is fixed from the moment you were convinced and unchangeable. No scientest is sure yet despite decades of research going into it. At the moment we don't even know for sure how intelligence is genetically determined, let alone sexually. But loads of people jump to conclusions and posts blogs since people will take their words as gospel.

But back on topic, it's not homophobic. It makes sense for someone not attracted to guys to be completely turned off by 2 guys kissing yet (in a lot of cases) be turned on by 2 girls kissing. I don't know that's even a controversial opinion when literally giving it 10 seconds of thought should be enough to clear things up.But I guess people on here will argue about anything

Maybe he realised he liked guys and not girls?
Because society teaches you you're straight, you can assume you're straight whilst wondering why your opposite sex relationships don't work out, and then you realise you're not even attracted to their gender.

Reply 46

Trapz99

You can't really do anything about it really. Just close your eyes or look up at the sky.

Reply 47

lucabrasi98

Original post by Anonymous

Maybe you're right. But my entire point as been we don't know for sure. There's currently no concluded answer on whether or not people are born gay. So for all I know, he was telling the truth.

So it's all just maybe's. You can't dismiss (or accept) anything until one day in the future when research advances and we have clearer answers.

Reply 48

Anonymous #2

Original post by lucabrasi98

Oh no I actually agree with you then. I thought you were suggesting it was a conscious choice.

Reply 49

tanyapotter

You shouldn't have even made this thread, tbh. You obviously can't control your thoughts and it's good that you support gay marriage, but as soon as you vocalise how you are "disgusted" by it, it no longer comes across as though you are respectful and tolerant. It seems rude, and yes - homophobic.

Reply 50

ivybridge

Original post by lucabrasi98

Please explain the difference. What makes him "genuinely" attracted to them? I'm pretty sure he's the best judge of his own sexuality, rather than random people on TSR.

Also, read my edit.

The difference is that sexual orientation is marked by a genuine physical, emotional and sexual attraction. You can't just decide that one day and put it into affect.

I'm sure he is - don't get irate because I think it's complete *******s to say he's gay if he isn't.

Having sex with men does not make you gay, despite what society wishes to tell you. Just as if I were to have sex with a woman, I'd still be gay. The fact I'm gay merely makes it unlikely I'd ever choose to sleep with a woman.

In my opinion, your friend is either lying to himself and others, or has genuinely always had an attraction to men in some way and found pinning it on a past experience with a girl an easier way to admit it and explain it than coming out. And to say it's a choice is a complete discredit to the LGBTQIA+ Rights movement.

With regards to your edit - all of the science conclusively pointa towards it being related to environmental factors and genes. Science is based upon theories and evidence to support those theories. Not being 100% sure does not mean we're pretty damn sure. And the vast majority of gay people on this planet will tell you they did not choose to be gay, which is why gay rights progress is so important to all of us. You can choose to sleep with men or women, you can to choose to be in-love with them or genuinely attracted to them. Regardless of whether you know the source of that yet, it's almost certain it is beyond one's control.

If attraction were in one's control, paedophilia wouldn't be a thing, homosexuality would probably never have occurred, and neither would any other 'less-than-normal' behaviour.

Homosexuality existed in species that do not have the capabilities to make intellectual decisions. Moreover, it has existed for centuries, in places and times where being gay was simply not acceptable and would cost you your life . Nobody would pick that.

Reply 51

ivybridge

Original post by lucabrasi98

Sorry but that isn't what you're trying to discuss - being born gay, or other factors being what determines it, is a different line of argument than 'it's a choice'. If you're trying to debate the first point then fair enough.

The notion I chose to be this way is laughable.

Reply 52

Lord Samosa

You're not attracted to the sight of two guys kissing and you're just not used to seeing it. Perhaps that's why you feel uneasy?

Reply 53

Ladbants

All around me are familiar faces, worn out places

Reply 54

Anonymous #3

Tbh as long as your not harming othem then I'd say you're tolerant. You don't need to walk behind them with a flag while blasting out some anthem to be considered to be tolerant.

Reply 55

oversizedcarrot

Original post by ivybridge

1. "The difference is that sexual orientation is marked by a genuine physical, emotional and sexual attraction. You can't just decide that one day and put it into affect."

2. "Having sex with men does not make you gay, despite what society wishes to tell you. Just as if I were to have sex with a woman, I'd still be gay. The fact I'm gay merely makes it unlikely I'd ever choose to sleep with a woman."

3. "Homosexuality existed in species that do not have the capabilities to make intellectual decisions."

1. This puts forwards the idea that you are born with a sexual orientation. Yet we all know devoid of science that orientation only becomes clearer once you reach puberty. Physical, emotional and sexual attraction can be altered when a person goes through poignant stages of their lives. However, this is less common.

2. If you were to choose between coffee, or tea, or both, this does not change the fact that you prefer coffee. Therefore it is possible to try tea but only ever like coffee. Does this make you coffee bean or tea bag?

3. Many living organisms in the animal kingdom express homosexuality. There are many intelligent species such as chimpanzees or chickens that express this form of sexuality.

Reply 56

ivybridge

Original post by oversizedcarrot

1. Not by choice, again.

2. That would mean you like both. If you're trying to compare this to sexuality, that would make you bisexual.

3. Yes... and?

Reply 57

oversizedcarrot

Original post by ivybridge

1. Not by choice, again.

2. That would mean you like both. If you're trying to compare this to sexuality, that would make you bisexual.

3. Yes... and?

1. It's not a choice. But it takes time to develop. This includes any hormones that bring about these changes.
2. Can you try something and not like it? That's all I'm saying. If somebody tries something they are immediately bisexual?
3. Exactly.

Reply 58

lucabrasi98

Original post by ivybridge

Having sex with men does not make you gay, despite what society wishes to tell you. Just as if I were to have sex with a woman, I'd still be gay. The fact I'm gay merely makes it unlikely I'd ever choose to sleep with a woman.

We will have to agree to disagree here. If you're truly 100% hetrosexual, you wouldn't even be able to get an erection when attempting to have sex with a guy. Let alone actually sleeping with them.. It's nothing to do with society vs the truth. To be able to allow yourself to sleep with someone of the same gender there must be at least some attraction. I know for sure that I simply couldn't sleep with the same gender. It's not a case of it being unlikely like in your case. it's that it won't happen. If a gay person still believed in their heart that they could sleep with women I don't think they're fully gay.

I could easily echo what you've said and say any guy that sleeps with another guy then claims they're straight is lying to themselves lol

Original post by ivybridge

all of the science conclusively point towards it being related to environmental factors and genes. Science is based upon theories and evidence to support those theories. Not being 100% sure does not mean we're pretty damn sure. And the vast majority of gay people on this planet will tell you they did not choose to be gay, which is why gay rights progress is so important to all of us.

And this is just a massive generalization. So much so that it's basically incorrect. If it was really anywhere remotely close to "all of science" then I wouldn't be here saying we don't have a definite answer. There's enough difference in opinion in the science world to say we aren't sure yet. Think about how many mental illnesses that the medical world has so little idea about. At the moment the best we can do is provide hormone pills and give therapy. I can't think of any that can be treated with other methods.

Whereas there's quite a few illneses non brain related illnesses where we could potentially use gene therapy to insert various alleles into cell nuclei in order to stop a disease since we know what that codes for. Off the top of my head I can think of cystic fibrosis.

Genetically, as far as I'm aware we know very little, The brain is incredibly complexed and constantly goes through not only chemical, but also physical changes when we learn new information. Maybe people might be born gay (I haven't actually said otherwise lol). But I wouldn't be surprised if in many years time when the brain is much better understood, we find out that it can be both.

Lastly, I've always wondered why "born gay or not" was heavily debated in the first place. Why would it matter in terms of gay rights or acceptance? I don't understand why people would think being able to choose invalidates anything or sets the LGBT movement back? It's not like being able to choose would mean discriminating against people who do choose is ok.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 59

ivybridge

Original post by oversizedcarrot

1. I don't dispute that... at all.

2. Trying is different from feeling. This is the distinction I am making and yes, you can know you're not attracted to something/someone before trying it. It is different with food products and so on. They're a weak comparison

3. ...