Basically I need LOTS of advice, long story but I'd appreciate any help.

Hi guys, I'm a new member so nice to meet all of you and thank you very much for looking at my post...

Basically I need some advice, no one can fully understand how I'm feeling but I feel pretty **** and so confused and I have no one to turn to to talk to so any advice would be much appreciated. If you have nothing nice to say don't say it.

Two guys in this story, (not going to name them so let's call them teddy and bumper)
Teddy-6 years, gentleman, caring, trustworthy, loyal, sweet.
Bumper-guy I met. Used to be a bad boy, and a whore tbf but changed when he met me.

Basically, born and bred in the Midlands, all my family and my friends live here.... I've been wth my partner 6 years over, he has lived with me up in the Midlands a few places here or there... Last September he had something unfortunate happen and he wanted us to move in with his dad down to the south west, I agreed to this with a lot of hesitation... In January this year we broke up, we broke up because we were arguing too much and we were in a rut and I was breaking down as a person... And I moved back up north with my mum. Bare in mind also we have two cats together, he kept the one he was closest to as did I. After a couple of weeks we got talking friendly and a couple of week later we decided to give it a go long distance, this lasted all of three weeks because I wasn't hearing from him much, he always had excuses as to why he couldn't text... And he felt I was looking into it too much and causing problems and he broke up with me.

Don't get bored yet guys, keep reading...

That night I had my first shift as a shot girl and I went and I met a guy, he showed a lot of interest in me and really raised my confidence. We spoke for the rest of the evening...
Because I thought my ex teddy didn't want anything to do with me anymore I continued to message bumper on a friendly basis really as I didn't want another relationship. We got on really well and we ended up doing stuff together inc sleeping....

My ex got back in touch with me and he was worried at this point that he had lost me and it finally hit home he wanted another go, I was speaking to them both on a friendly basis as I wasn't sure what to do... To go with the new guy and try something fresh, or to go back where I knew it was nice and not waste all of six years.

So in May i went to visit teddy and we had a great time, a couple of weeks later I said to bumper I have to give it another try with teddy, as this is the guy I saw and see myself marrying and having a family with... So I went back to visit teddy and a week later we went up north to pick up my cat and now we all live together with his dad.

I've been here two weeks, and I feel alone, bored and uncomfortable, I don't have any friends or family down here, it's awkward living with his dad as I've never lived with my dad before... He feels like he has to stay in with me so I don't feel alone, I don't wanna start work just yet... I'm meant to be starting college down here in September, I don't think I will know if I'm comfortable here till I get a job and start college but it scares me doing that as I'm not comfortable at the moment and i don't want to start something and have to leave.

Me and teddy have argued a couple of times whilst I've been here, firstly over me being stressed here and secondly he worries and distrusts me a lot with bumper.

Bumper still texts me now and then to see how I am... I just don't know what to do and any advice would be so much appreciated you have no idea! at this moment we've argued and he's gone out on his motorbike and I'm left inside. I don't know what to do :frown:

Reply 1

ODES_PDES

Loads to read! :smile:

Reply 2

MissJordanne

I know sorry, probs more info if needed tbf. :smile:

Original post by ODES_PDES

Loads to read! :smile:

Reply 3

MissJordanne

I don't wanna give up on this relationship as it really could be forever, it has pros and cons like both choices do, but I can't stay here feeling like this but then that means having to do the journey all over again and jeopardising this. It might not sound stressful and hard but it really is :frown:

Reply 4

username996405

I'm moving this to the Relationships section - hope this helps! :smile:

Reply 5

keepyourapology

You don't sound happy with Teddy, and more free with Bumper. I don't know what stage of your life you are in, but I think that maybe settling down and getting married and all that is not something you sound ready to do. Maybe if he truly is the one, and wants to wait for you, you could see things out with Bumper and move back with Teddy if you really feel that you have made a mistake.

Reply 6

MarcusThePotato

Oh gawsh this is tricky, Bumper sounds like a nice guy but I'm just worried about what you said about him being a "bad boy", because usually they won't be themselves if they're wanting something, and once they've got it, they turn all meanie mode again. And it'll be hard to fully enjoy your life while you're with Teddy since you're getting bored with him... I have no idea what to suggest D: Can you really see yourself with Bumper in 10 years time?

Reply 7

MissJordanne

Thank you deary

Original post by Mochassassin

I'm moving this to the Relationships section - hope this helps! :smile:

Reply 8

username944192

Sounds like your relationship has come to a natural end and you keep pushing to keep it going when it's not working out anymore

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Who has more money? Go for them innit

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

this is the thing, I had a choice to make and I chose teddy because it was safe and j knew I liked it with him and also I had fallen out with lots of my family and friends.... I took a chance on teddy and really don't wanna have to go through all the hurt again. I don't know if I've made a right or wrong choice my mind won't let me seem to admit it to myself, they say follow your heart or mind but I can't tell what to do :frown:

I know if I leave and go back up north I will lose teddy and the next girl that gets him will be a very lucky girl. I chose to take a chance on teddy because I hadn't known bumper long but bumper was a whore complete opposite to teddy in all fairness but it's different with them both. I find myself worrying when I'm with test and not with bumper but I can't compare this as I've known teddy 7 years and bumper 3 months.

Original post by keepyourapology

Reply 11

MissJordanne

I would say no because he doesn't strike me as the family and husband man, but when I'm with him I feel on top of world, confident, he makes me laugh etc... I see myself with teddy as he is he perfect husband perfect dad and has his head screwed on with job prospects etc . I'm not bored with teddy As such I'm more bored of staying in all the time, him being the only one I know, living with his dad, living in the country compared to near city, not knowing anywhere to go or having a job or money to do anything, I want a job when I settle but I don't know where or how to settle.

Original post by MarcusThePotato

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 12

MarcusThePotato

Original post by MissJordanne

If only they were balanced D: I would feel bad if you stayed with Teddy only for his career ambitions and things, not for how you feel about him. Go on a holiday together :biggrin:

spend time with him doing something new, maybe you'll feel better :biggrin:

Reply 13

MissJordanne

We have a holiday planned for September but it's money and all the rest... I'm quite scared for starting work again as I suffered with problems and wasn't working for two years and I know I have to go back soon to do part time... But if I'm not comfortable here, getting a job and starting college will only make me more uncomfortable? Or it might help... I don't know, but teddy genuinely loves the bones off of me, I've never seen love like it, and I know I'm stupid to contemplate it, but it was different love with bumper and new and fresh and no resentment or water under the bridge. Me and teddy have been through a lot, we've got through so so much it's unreal and always still managed to stay together but he has trust issues with me, doesn't believe me, every time bumper texts me which is one a week or two he will be upset be worried be depressed and say things that I talk to him when he's at work etc... It's so hard :frown:

and I love my cat to bits as stupid as that sounds and don't want any of this stress for him :frown:

My friend also said she moving to chezzy in January time roughly when she gets money and it's an opportunity to move in with her if all goes tits up. But it's waiting again