The Student Room Group

I don't feel as though I fit in...

In short I'm in my last year of A-Levels and next week my sixth form has a prom. I'm 18 and don't drink. Many of my friends and my girlfriend have accepted this however still occasionally as 'banter' ask me if I want a drink or want to go clubbing. Without sounding too pessimistic and being judged too much, I'm not a fan of booze and don't really like being near people who are drinking it and all that kinda stuff.

I am basically really not looking forward to my prom/after prom (if I end up going to that) not only because there'll be drink there but also I am not a party person in the slightest and I despise the atmosphere of them, but the issue is, for me personally that I feel as though if I don't go, I'm letting my girlfriend and friends down and I don't like that feeling. I think I'll be able to handle the prom itself but maybe not the after prom (it's at somebody's house and so I am 99.9% sure that's definitely not my scene!)

I was just wondering whether anybody has some tips or anything like that which may be able to help me out because I really don't like the idea of going but equally I don't like the feeling of letting people down too; however I think about it, it's generally always negative.

Feel free to ask me anything however, you may be able to tell from this, I'm not very good with words and my girlfriend is generally supportive but I can't even explain how I feel about this topic with her so I'll do my best but you'll just have to bare with me I guess :/

Thanks in advanced! :smile:
The prom will only be for one night and you won't have to do anything that you're not comfortable with so it may be worth going because as cliche as it sounds, its not every year that you get to go to prom. Even if you go and don't get involved with the main 'partying' , you'll probably still have a better time than if you'd stayed at home and felt guilty for not going. Different people celebrate in different ways, so don't feel bad about not drinking alcohol or enjoying house parties. My auntie celebrated her 18th by going to a coffee shop and drinking lattes all evening sooo :tongue: If you want to feel more energetic whilst you're there, you could always drink things like coffee or energy drinks if you like those sorts of things.
Original post by jessyjellytot14
The prom will only be for one night and you won't have to do anything that you're not comfortable with so it may be worth going because as cliche as it sounds, its not every year that you get to go to prom. Even if you go and don't get involved with the main 'partying' , you'll probably still have a better time than if you'd stayed at home and felt guilty for not going. Different people celebrate in different ways, so don't feel bad about not drinking alcohol or enjoying house parties. My auntie celebrated her 18th by going to a coffee shop and drinking lattes all evening sooo :tongue: If you want to feel more energetic whilst you're there, you could always drink things like coffee or energy drinks if you like those sorts of things.


That's a fair point! I just doubt after prom shall be something I'll go to. It's not that I try to be overprotective but my girlfriends going and I also want to look out for her too but if it's not for me, surely it'd be best to think of me and my wellbeing first as otherwise I feel crappy inside :frown:
Original post by physics_geek97
That's a fair point! I just doubt after prom shall be something I'll go to. It's not that I try to be overprotective but my girlfriends going and I also want to look out for her too but if it's not for me, surely it'd be best to think of me and my wellbeing first as otherwise I feel crappy inside :frown:


Yeah I see where you're coming from. Does your girlfriend have any "sensible" friends (as in they're very unlikely to get incredibly drunk and will look after her) who you trust and could ask them to make sure she'll be okay? Or maybe even one of your friends?
Its good to think of your own wellbeing so its probably best if you don't go to the after prom. Also, even though its natural to worry, remember the likelihood of something bad happening to her is very slim. You obviously know her better than I do so if there's anything that you're particularly worried about her doing, then its best if you have a talk with her about it
Original post by jessyjellytot14
Yeah I see where you're coming from. Does your girlfriend have any "sensible" friends (as in they're very unlikely to get incredibly drunk and will look after her) who you trust and could ask them to make sure she'll be okay? Or maybe even one of your friends?
Its good to think of your own wellbeing so its probably best if you don't go to the after prom. Also, even though its natural to worry, remember the likelihood of something bad happening to her is very slim. You obviously know her better than I do so if there's anything that you're particularly worried about her doing, then its best if you have a talk with her about it


She has some sensible friends however I've only ever known them be sensible when it's not in one of those situations and whenever I've seen drink around, all of her friends have been drinking and majority to excess so I would probably ask on of my friends to look out for her. I doubt anything would happen, I just don't like the feeling of not knowing what's happening but then if I do go, she moans at me for not having fun and putting a dampener on her evening so whichever way I feel as though I'm loosing out

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