The Student Room Group

"I don't want to say I love you"

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=4106211

To give a little context, I previously made the above thread.

Since then, things have developed between me and this guy and it seems to be heading towards a more fwb thing which is what we are both after.

We were out yesterday, just us two. Since he initial night we have been out in groups a few times and then branched off near the end of the night but yesterday was the first time we were out together alone from the start. We spent ages talking, kissing etc just about this that etc and over the last few weeks it's been really strange how similar we are, how much we get on, how much chemistry there is.

Yesterday he was echoing what I was feeling about how it's so easy being together and I think the conversation was on how much he liked being with me and then out of nowhere (tipsyish at this point) he said "I don't want to say I love you". It took me off guard because obv I heard the love you part so my eyes must have popped out in shock lol and he repeated himself saying "I said, I don't wana say I love you" because I gues I looked so shocked. so I replied saying "I never asked you to" and then he said "I know, I just want to know you. Everything about you. Good and bad. Everything" or something to that effect and then for the first time we discussed what we both wanted I.e to be really good friends who have fun as before its just been being drunk, getting together a little bit and then jus acting normal in the office lol.

Over the night he said quite a few things to me like I'm the one best friend he's been really looking for, how he's free with me and can just be himself etc. Putting all this in context, the way he blurted that out, is it likely he was thinking out loud whereby he said it but was kind of telling himself not to say "I love you". Idk, I just keep remembering that line and how it was out of nowhere. Or was it just to clarify to me so I don't think any deeper into anything? (Even though I haven't implied I've taken anything in a romantic sense anyway) and we have just been flirty/friendly when out. Nothing deep. Nothing serious.

Was it an odd thing to say? Just stuck out to me.
He was tipsy so maybe he was just talking out loud as u said. Even the whole sentence sounds like he has those feelings but doesn't want to admit like he "loves" you so wants to hold back. Though its still early days so I think by "love" he just means like a strong affinity perhaps....
It is a bit odd as anyone not having those thoughts in their wouldn't say anything surely rather than actually say "I don't want to say I love you"
if you dont wanna say it then write it :erm:
Yeah deffo don't say you love him or he loves you. Just see it for what it is a bit of fun I guess
Reply 5
Original post by neal95
Yeah deffo don't say you love him or he loves you. Just see it for what it is a bit of fun I guess


Agreed. He said it out of nowhere really. "I don't want to say I love you"... I was just like what.

Why would u say that?
Reply 6
Original post by fatima1998
if you dont wanna say it then write it :erm:


Did you read the original post?
Original post by Anonymous
Agreed. He said it out of nowhere really. "I don't want to say I love you"... I was just like what.

Why would u say that?


Yeah maybe he is catching feelings and sort of wanted to let you know but not if ygm. Maybe he wanted you to respond that you love him or he was less drunk then thought and wanted to see your reaction lol?
Original post by Anonymous
Did you read the original post?


i didn't read it i listened to it :yep:
Reply 9
Original post by neal95
Yeah maybe he is catching feelings and sort of wanted to let you know but not if ygm. Maybe he wanted you to respond that you love him or he was less drunk then thought and wanted to see your reaction lol?


Seems a bit soon for the L word. It's only been like five weeks since the first night and we haven't actually taken anything further yet. Probably just reading too much into it. Suppose it's just a random blurt out.
Play hard to get, don't reveal everything about yourself in one go, it keeps him interested.
Original post by ~scorpio~
Play hard to get, don't reveal everything about yourself in one go, it keeps him interested.


I think I'm naturally like that. Fortunately or unfortunately. He told me a lot of stories yesterday saying he's never told these to anyone before and was asking me to tell him stuff about me, just stories, random things etc. And I said I don't really open up so quick (plus I couldn't think of anything just like that from the top of my head) so he said something like "you've shown me a page but I want to know the whole book".

He explicitly said we should be really good friends with benefits but not go down the bf/gf route and I said I felt the same but then thinking back to last night, I remember snippets of convo here and there and they don't seem so casual? Or is that just me? I've never had this kind of arrangement before.
Original post by Reckless77
It is a bit odd as anyone not having those thoughts in their wouldn't say anything surely rather than actually say "I don't want to say I love you"


That's what I thought, hmm.
Any other opinions?

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