First Time
Okay! So I was a believer in no sex before marriage but being with my boyfriend and talking with him about us and our bodies and how we feel, it is obvious to me that I want to have sex with him and that no sex before marriage, where I wouldn't call it pointless, is pretty pointless. - I am bad at explaining myself so if you get that, you get it! LOL
He loves me a lot and I love him just as much! We have discussed having sex and what it would mean, what we need in terms of condoms etc.
He respects me and my choices and everything and I do want to have sex with him but, I am scared
I am not scared of the pain or anything like that but, I come from a strict Indian family so becoming pregnant would be the end of my life! (No they wouldn't kill me but probably disowned)
This may sound stupid to some but I am scared of having sex for fear of falling pregnant I know about safe sex and using a condom and the morning after pill but, I'm one of those people that despite everything and the knowledge of practising safe sex, I know that once I have sex with him, the fear of being pregnant will consume me
For all the ladies out there, how did you get over this fear if you ever had it and what advice would you give on this issue?
Sorry for the ramble but I just wanted to hear other peoples thoughts and experiences!
Thank you!
He loves me a lot and I love him just as much! We have discussed having sex and what it would mean, what we need in terms of condoms etc.
He respects me and my choices and everything and I do want to have sex with him but, I am scared
I am not scared of the pain or anything like that but, I come from a strict Indian family so becoming pregnant would be the end of my life! (No they wouldn't kill me but probably disowned
) This may sound stupid to some but I am scared of having sex for fear of falling pregnant
I know about safe sex and using a condom and the morning after pill but, I'm one of those people that despite everything and the knowledge of practising safe sex, I know that once I have sex with him, the fear of being pregnant will consume me For all the ladies out there, how did you get over this fear if you ever had it and what advice would you give on this issue?
Sorry for the ramble but I just wanted to hear other peoples thoughts and experiences!
Thank you!
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Planning on using emergency contraception like the 'morning after pill' is not a sensible strategy, but it looks like that condoms alone are not reliable enough for you.
What other methods have you considered? You have enough privacy to consider being sexual with your boyfriend - do you have the privacy to, for example, use the contraceptive pill? Having the implant makes pregnancy more unlikely than having a sterilisation op - would anyone ask why you've got a plaster on your arm?
(There really isn't a need to bump posts, given the number posted in this bit.)
What other methods have you considered? You have enough privacy to consider being sexual with your boyfriend - do you have the privacy to, for example, use the contraceptive pill? Having the implant makes pregnancy more unlikely than having a sterilisation op - would anyone ask why you've got a plaster on your arm?
(There really isn't a need to bump posts, given the number posted in this bit.)
Original post by unprinted
Planning on using emergency contraception like the 'morning after pill' is not a sensible strategy, but it looks like that condoms alone are not reliable enough for you.
What other methods have you considered? You have enough privacy to consider being sexual with your boyfriend - do you have the privacy to, for example, use the contraceptive pill? Having the implant makes pregnancy more unlikely than having a sterilisation op - would anyone ask why you've got a plaster on your arm?
(There really isn't a need to bump posts, given the number posted in this bit.)
What other methods have you considered? You have enough privacy to consider being sexual with your boyfriend - do you have the privacy to, for example, use the contraceptive pill? Having the implant makes pregnancy more unlikely than having a sterilisation op - would anyone ask why you've got a plaster on your arm?
(There really isn't a need to bump posts, given the number posted in this bit.)
Yes, I fear condoms wont be enough
I am scared of going on the pill because my body has reacted badly to it before when I took it for bad periods so thats not really an option! My mum would know! Its not something I could hide from her tbh.
Im just asking should a condom be enough?
Original post by Anonymous
I'm just asking should a condom be enough?
That's a question only you can answer, because it depends on your attitudes.
The pill you've previously taken will have been a combined one, so a progesterone-only one may be an option.
When I first started having sex, I was in a committed relationship much like yours. I was on the pill and took it consistently, despite this, I was always worried that I would become preganant.
As the pill has a pill free week where you bleed it was enough for me the first 2 months to convince me that I wasn't pregnant, but then I began to think about it more and the fact that it's just a withdrawal bleed and not a real period - every month for about four months I would take a pregnancy test once a month to put my mind at ease (drove my boyfriend nuts) ... I then began to mellow out a bit and started taking a pregnancy test once every 3-4 months and then after a while I stopped. In hindsight I can see how daft I was - I would have known if I was pregnant, I know my body and would have recognized that something wasn't right.
Long story short .. how you're feeling is completely normal in my opinion. There is a tiny risk with all contraception, nothing is 100% but yes you'll be ok with condoms .. you mentioned that the pill messed your body up when you first tried it, and you mentioned you are aware of the morning after pill if necessary. My experiences using the morning after pill were AWFUL - I bled for 3 months straight and was exhausted all the time (all girls experience different things). If you are concerned that a condom alone isn't enough then I would double up on contraception and use a condom and the pill.. there are so many different types of pill you are bound to find one suitable for you. It's all trial and error.
I understand you don't want your mum to find out- going to the doctors is all confidential so she need not know. If you want to tell her without her knowing you're having sex, could you not say that you wanted to try it again for your heavy periods or possibly use spots as an excuse .. the pill balances out your hormones and can improve your complexion.
Don't worry, as long as you're safe you'll be fine. I know it's easier said than done, but for me, looking back on how I acted .. I was just insane!
As the pill has a pill free week where you bleed it was enough for me the first 2 months to convince me that I wasn't pregnant, but then I began to think about it more and the fact that it's just a withdrawal bleed and not a real period - every month for about four months I would take a pregnancy test once a month to put my mind at ease (drove my boyfriend nuts) ... I then began to mellow out a bit and started taking a pregnancy test once every 3-4 months and then after a while I stopped. In hindsight I can see how daft I was - I would have known if I was pregnant, I know my body and would have recognized that something wasn't right.
Long story short .. how you're feeling is completely normal in my opinion. There is a tiny risk with all contraception, nothing is 100% but yes you'll be ok with condoms .. you mentioned that the pill messed your body up when you first tried it, and you mentioned you are aware of the morning after pill if necessary. My experiences using the morning after pill were AWFUL - I bled for 3 months straight and was exhausted all the time (all girls experience different things). If you are concerned that a condom alone isn't enough then I would double up on contraception and use a condom and the pill.. there are so many different types of pill you are bound to find one suitable for you. It's all trial and error.
I understand you don't want your mum to find out- going to the doctors is all confidential so she need not know. If you want to tell her without her knowing you're having sex, could you not say that you wanted to try it again for your heavy periods or possibly use spots as an excuse .. the pill balances out your hormones and can improve your complexion.
Don't worry, as long as you're safe you'll be fine. I know it's easier said than done, but for me, looking back on how I acted .. I was just insane!
Original post by <3Music
When I first started having sex, I was in a committed relationship much like yours. I was on the pill and took it consistently, despite this, I was always worried that I would become preganant.
As the pill has a pill free week where you bleed it was enough for me the first 2 months to convince me that I wasn't pregnant, but then I began to think about it more and the fact that it's just a withdrawal bleed and not a real period - every month for about four months I would take a pregnancy test once a month to put my mind at ease (drove my boyfriend nuts) ... I then began to mellow out a bit and started taking a pregnancy test once every 3-4 months and then after a while I stopped. In hindsight I can see how daft I was - I would have known if I was pregnant, I know my body and would have recognized that something wasn't right.
Long story short .. how you're feeling is completely normal in my opinion. There is a tiny risk with all contraception, nothing is 100% but yes you'll be ok with condoms .. you mentioned that the pill messed your body up when you first tried it, and you mentioned you are aware of the morning after pill if necessary. My experiences using the morning after pill were AWFUL - I bled for 3 months straight and was exhausted all the time (all girls experience different things). If you are concerned that a condom alone isn't enough then I would double up on contraception and use a condom and the pill.. there are so many different types of pill you are bound to find one suitable for you. It's all trial and error.
I understand you don't want your mum to find out- going to the doctors is all confidential so she need not know. If you want to tell her without her knowing you're having sex, could you not say that you wanted to try it again for your heavy periods or possibly use spots as an excuse .. the pill balances out your hormones and can improve your complexion.
Don't worry, as long as you're safe you'll be fine. I know it's easier said than done, but for me, looking back on how I acted .. I was just insane!
As the pill has a pill free week where you bleed it was enough for me the first 2 months to convince me that I wasn't pregnant, but then I began to think about it more and the fact that it's just a withdrawal bleed and not a real period - every month for about four months I would take a pregnancy test once a month to put my mind at ease (drove my boyfriend nuts) ... I then began to mellow out a bit and started taking a pregnancy test once every 3-4 months and then after a while I stopped. In hindsight I can see how daft I was - I would have known if I was pregnant, I know my body and would have recognized that something wasn't right.
Long story short .. how you're feeling is completely normal in my opinion. There is a tiny risk with all contraception, nothing is 100% but yes you'll be ok with condoms .. you mentioned that the pill messed your body up when you first tried it, and you mentioned you are aware of the morning after pill if necessary. My experiences using the morning after pill were AWFUL - I bled for 3 months straight and was exhausted all the time (all girls experience different things). If you are concerned that a condom alone isn't enough then I would double up on contraception and use a condom and the pill.. there are so many different types of pill you are bound to find one suitable for you. It's all trial and error.
I understand you don't want your mum to find out- going to the doctors is all confidential so she need not know. If you want to tell her without her knowing you're having sex, could you not say that you wanted to try it again for your heavy periods or possibly use spots as an excuse .. the pill balances out your hormones and can improve your complexion.
Don't worry, as long as you're safe you'll be fine. I know it's easier said than done, but for me, looking back on how I acted .. I was just insane!
Thank you so much for your advice! I have really found this to be calming and useful! Would you mind if I ever PMd you in the future?
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you so much for your advice! I have really found this to be calming and useful! Would you mind if I ever PMd you in the future?
You're welcome .. can be quite daunting at first but it gets better. As long as your boyfriend us understanding and is happy to go at your pace you'll be fine.
& yeah, of course. PM away!
I felt a lot the same with the worry about becoming pregnant when I first had sex, my partner and I up until recently used condoms and am on the pill. We recently taken the step to not use them so solely relaying on the pill, which was a big step for us because of the added risk of pregnancy even though the pill is very reliable if taken correctly. My point is you still worry but not so much, best bet is stay safe and do not rush.
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