Awkward dating app incident with guy at work.

tl:dr hot guy tried to talk to me on happn, I ignored him, now I met him in real life because he became my co-worker and I like him, but is he into me?

A while ago I downloaded Happn, a location based dating app. For those who don't know it, it picks up people you cross paths with and if you both click yes then you match and you can chat.

Anyway, As most girls do I ended up with a bunch of matches, too many to keep up with. Needless to say I didn't have time to reply to most of them unless they really grabbed my attention and I wasn't really using the app properly anyway.

I got a new job in Feb and immediately noticed I have a very attractive co worker James. I noticed that he sort of looked at me funny and he said hi to me every time we walked past each other but I figured it was because I was new. Anyway, I hadn't been on happn for a while after starting the new job and when I loaded it up I realised I had crossed paths with someone in the office about 15 times and it was James! When I clicked on his name, I noticed that he had even messaged me before I had joined his workplace with a really nice message. Unfortunately, I had ignored him :frown:

Anyway - I *really* fancy James now but I'm not sure if he likes me in person or not. I've caught him staring at me before once or twice, and he seems to laugh at my jokes (even when no one else does!) but aside from that he doesn't really pay me much attention at all and since we don't work together closely, I don't get to spend much time with him. Im not sure how to proceed! Any ideas would be great. Please bear in mind I'm really super shy in case you didn't get that from this post :smile:

Reply 1

Zarek

Get out for after work Friday drinks, with your best dress on, and make it happen basically..

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

I like this, but the thing is - he messaged me in October 2015 and I only realised when I joined this job recently. So would be a bit weird to suddenly reply haha. I only realised it was him about 2 months into working with him!

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Message him on Happn. Be like James? Is that you? We are dating

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

LOL - I love it. I can't do that though because if he doesn't reply I'm never going to be able to face him at work!

Reply 5

TorpidPhil

Ask him out silly. Even if you have to do it over the damn app.

If you want to be really cute and coy about it tell him in person to check the app - where you have already asked him out literally a few minutes before hand. And by God if you wink at him afterwards, I dunno if everyone else would feel that was cheesy, but personally, I would fall into your arms. *ahem* and then pull myself together and carry you away.

And just for a coffee somewhere I mean. Obviously.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 6

hermitthefrog

Can't you just build up a friendship and flirt with him at work and try and get a date with him that way?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Foo.mp3

Tell us what his message said and I'll give you my input :yy:

It said 'Hi Katie, good list, I'm a big fan of SE Asia also! How's your week treating you?'

It's much better than the usual 'hi' I get.

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

It said 'Hi Katie, good list, I'm a big fan of SE Asia also! How's your week treating you?'

It's much better than the usual 'hi' I get.

I dont know what the problem is. Men know women probably get lots of messages on dating apps so most dont respond. He might not even remember you, and wont feel bad about it.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

I dont know what the problem is. Men know women probably get lots of messages on dating apps so most dont respond. He might not even remember you, and wont feel bad about it.

Yeah, I was hoping he wouldn't remember me - and if it was any other dating app he probably wouldnt. Unfortunately because it was Happn, it puts the people in the closest proximity right at the top so you see them as soon as you open it. Because I was in the same room as him (lol) for over 2 months before I realised, I'm pretty sure he knows it was me.

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Well the whole point of dating apps is so people come together. Most people wouldnt feel bad if the girl they liked came and talked to them. Given that you are shy I dont think he will have a problem with you. If you were stuck up and arrogant he might think you ignored him on purpose. So just go talk to him.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Thats what I'm concerned about - I'm shy, but people tell me I come off as arrogant and stuck up when that's not the case at all. Like when he says hi to me, I've not been exactly friendly back in the past :frown:

but mostly because I fancy him so much and I'm terrified of him!

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by Foo.mp3

Ok, don't respond to that. Just chat to him, tease, and flirt, lightly, if you can, if not (due to shyness), try indirect compliments (without becoming a fan-girl), if not try other avenues e.g. social media/group social outings etc. He'll get the hint and either act on it or not (no biggie either way)

Ok, so you think there's a good chance he still likes me/likes me in person? I'm worried if I start flirting with him and he goes weird (and it's the workplace, and a new job...)

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by Foo.mp3

Sure, why not? Believe in yourself fam. Let yourself glow, that's attractive/endearing

Hence mild flirting e.g. cheeky grin/knowing look/raised eyebrow, simmering eye contact, playing with hair, using bodily signs, gently touching him, or patting, being playful. All can be interpreted/brushed off as friendly :smile:

Ahhhh gotcha! So tread a fine line so HR don't get involved haha

Reply 14

Lucarious30

Just show him you're interested, and if he brings it up then say you didn't really check the app much or use it anyway. You could always use it as a funny inside joke if the relationship grows.