Tomorrow is my dad's date of death and I have to make a test that will likely determine whether or not I will pass the year. Apart from the fact that I will feel like a total failure must I have to redo the year, I also go to an independent school so it will be a financial strain for my mum. My mum for some reason always seems to think that tomorrow is only affecting her and tends to forget that I have had to live without a/my dad for 11 years too and that it's not exactly an ideal situation for me either. So besides the usual fights, tonights fight was especially bad. I spent 4 hours wasting my time cycling, trying to wrap my head around things and calm down that I could have used to study. Either I give up and accept that I'll probably have to redo the year or I study through (part of) the night, even though I'm sick... Neither seem okay.
Edit: I sound like a totally heartless tete de merde when I talk about my mum like that but I am aware of how hard this day and tomorrow (and also any other day) have to be for her and I do have respect for the fact that she is raising three kids on her own, despite the obstacles she might face. I understand that her feeling emotionally stressed might have contributed to this fight as well, however, I would also like to add that things have been said, both today and in the past, and done that shouldn't have been said; regardless of the fact that today is not a good day. But again, I do have respect for my mum, sorry if I appeared not to.