Girlfriend refusing to have sex with me...

There are more things to do than have intercourse.

If you were to have intercourse with her knowing that she really doesn't want to - and 'unless we had a big massive argument about it and she felt obliged to do it' comes very close to that - what does that make you?

I've been with my girlfriend around about 18 months now. At the start of the relationship we had sex often, however around the 6 month mark that slowed down and would only do it once a month and then at the nine month mark it stopped completely, unless we had a big massive argument about it and she felt obliged to do it. She says the reason she doesn't want to do it is because she does not trust contraception and first told me just to wait a few weeks until the Christmas holidays until she could go and see the doctor in her home town, but she didn't go. She then said that she would go at Easter. She didn't go then. She said that she's a bit on the overweight side to go on the pill right now but will slim down over this summer and then get it at the end of the summer. We are due to move in together at the end of August and it seems she's not been trying. I'm getting worried that she won't feel like she's lost enough weight to want to go on the pill to be told wait until next Christmas. I've been really fair and understanding but I told her that it would be the end if she didn't go on the pill. I'm not bothered about her going on the pill if she was fine using condoms. It's really bothering me and stressing me out and everytime I bring it up I get shut down and told it's fine stop worrying it will get sorted.

Sounds as though you're pressurising her into it, which for me personally, would make me less likely want to sleep with you.

Ive actually had to pay a heavy price for it,so you're right*

I understand men have needs

How is it his fault that she doesn't want to have sex?

No room for rebellion when it comes to fundamental arrangements. My way or the high way

Only happened to me with one girl so can't comment as if an authority and shouldn't think there are any arbitrary criteria other than 'feeling it'. You'll know when it happens, though, your spirit is soothed, your senses heightened

Makes no difference to me e.g. would (also) date other wenches if she was just a random, or be patient if she meant something. That said, if we were talking months rather than days/weeks then I'd have to have a serious word, as there's no point getting closer until you've established whether you're sexually compatible

Good girl

Once, I took a girl I was seeing to the GP to get the cap fitted. I explained to her why the pill was so deleterious for her and she agreed not to go on it. She's Jap so her English isn't very good, and my parents told me to take her. I did, and the nutty GP woman started pressuring her to take the pill, saying how the cap was outdated, no one uses it anymore, asking if I was pressuring her to go on the cap (presumably because I want her to get pregnant??? ). When I called her out as a brainless idiot (in nicer terms), she refused to prescribe anything. I walked out of there and told my girl to try and get it from her.She comes out 10 minutes later with google translated NHS propaganda of how awesome the pill is. One of the few benefits of the TTIP is that the ****in' NHS would be destroyed.

And then the guy you thought was "right" might cheat on you. Waiting doesn't change the human condition

Not like you may do in future.. whole other level

1) Try to identify why

2) Try to work around/overcome it

3) Call it and resolve to be good friends/part of a harem e.g. until such times as things change

How quaint :hippe:

People, like the guy you quoted, are only really just beginning to become alive to the insidious nature of the pharma-industrial-complex

Not a shred of doubt in my mind

Yup e.g. poor sexual compatibility/bringing my partner avoidable pain is unacceptable to me so sharing out the sexytimes would seem like a reasonable 'third way' vs. just walking away

Not if it were me; you'd listen, calm and composed, to my point of view and rationalisation (as per the above), and either trust in my best judgement or else respectfully agree to disagree

Depends what the issue is really, but generally true re: particular physiological irregularities

Hasn't always served you well, but you were just a kid, growing up, and didn't have the moral/inter-personal education you've now had, or the input/leadership of a guru come best friend/father figure

So can fatties take all forms of the pill or not.. seems a few people had this misconception including myself if its a myth..

Not if you use protection/establish regular harem partners who only bunk up with thee

Personally, I wouldn't aim for an open relationship as it is a bit of an (emotional/health) minefield and does not communicate value, though, aye

Usually because she has low self-worth,* but sometimes, yes, because she too would prefer something light

Your capacity for humanity/to love selflessly

Fair enough, I respect/would generally expect that

True story

His reaction to her initial change in her desire for it.

The way to improve things is to be supportive and helpful..

.. not pressurise her, have 'big massive arguments about it', and have sex with her when he knows she doesn't really want to do it, but merely feels 'obliged to do it'.

For sure, but male and female sexuality are of course very different beasts, as you yourself have acknowledged

According to whom? You're supposed to be a Christian, are you not?

Indeed not, but the hypothetical under discussion is far from 'usual', isn't it

Are we not able to supersede our animal instincts?

Not true. My health comes first (survival), then the happiness of those I love dearly, then my own. You know this to be so, my child

Then you may not call yourself Christian

Only if you are naive/weak and feeble