The Student Room Group

Did it sound like this guy only wanted one thing?

I met a guy through friends and he seemed a little bit of a flirt, but on the whole very friendly and talkative.
I saw him a second time and found him very nice, so I asked him out for a drink. Well, I added him on facebook first and then asked him like that, as I didn't know when I'd see him again.
He'd said to my friend that he liked me and that I was 'quite pretty'. and I'd told my friend I liked him so I hoped he'd say yes, and luckily he did.

We spent some time chatting on facebook in the days leading upto the date, and he was very friendly; we talked about work and the usual stuff.

We met in the city centre for a drink (I live in a town about 20 minutes' train away) and it was going well, we were getting on and stuff, and at some point he told me he wanted to 'discover' me.

However, at one point he told me that if he wants to have sex, he can easily find someone to do that with.

The thing that really put me off, was that I'd mentioned that I'd have to get the last train back, with not living in the city, and that anyway I had a dance lesson early in the morning.

He said that I could stay at his and he'd drop me back in the morning, and that we 'didn't have to do anything at all'. I politely declined as I didn't really want to (even if nothing happened) I just wanted an early night, and I didn't have any stuff with me anyway.

He insisted several times for me to stay, but I kept refusing, and he seemed disappointed.

He messaged me anyway checking i'd got back ok, and then the next day messaged me asking about my weekend. However, I didn't feel like I wanted to see him again, so I messaged him saying so, in a polite way, and he just responded with '.....'/

My friend said he was a massive flirt, and that when i'd not been there once at a party, he'd been talking loads about sex. She said it sounded like he just wanted to sleep with me, and that's why he invited me back.

What do others think from what i've said here?
:lol::rofl: people these days
Reply 2
Sounds a bit arrogant at least but impossible for us to judge from this. Trust your instincts.
It's refreshing to see girls stand up for themselves and decline. A lot of them feel bad and go all the way until they are left alone heartbroken.
Reply 4
Logistics and confirmation game on the weak side. Yeah every guy is after the same thing.
Reply 5
thanks for the replies, I admit it's difficult to judge entirely just from this, he was quite gentleman-like on the date but it was just the way he kept insisting and how he looked disappointed when I said no... and telling me how he can easily find girls for sex :s Just wasn't the sort of guy I would have liked to date anyway !
Good for you!
Original post by Foo.mp3
Red flag

Rape flag

Red flag


how is 'quite pretty' a red flag?!
Reply 8
Original post by Foo.mp3
Red flag

Rape flag

Red flag


Why is it red flag when he only complemented her saying she's pretty?!
Original post by rael009
Why is it red flag when he only complemented her saying she's pretty?!


'Quite pretty', especially from a charismatic guy, is like saying 'good enough'.
Original post by Foo.mp3
When a socially adept, attractive, and in-demand male makes a casual observation about someone, 99 times out of 100 it betrays a casual attitude to that someone. Ditto if a guy leaves it to a girl to ask him out/game him/chase him, rarely is this a solid springboard (except in rare cases where dominant females are seeking submissive males). If I conceive of a girl as 'sweet'/'cute'/'quite pretty', and that's the limit of my thoughts/comment, what it means is, in the absence of a better alternative, in the right situation, I will smash it. Will I walk her down the isle? Probably not :rolleyes:




Original post by Cremated_Spatula
'Quite pretty', especially from a charismatic guy, is like saying 'good enough'.


Oohh ouch !

What would have been a better sign? Like what could the guy have said that would have made it seem he was more serious about her or at least less 'casual'?

Also would you/they pursue that 'quite pretty' option or just bang her (!) if the opportunity arises or she chased you/them herself?

Does it mean different things if they tell someone else that you're quite pretty compared to if they tell you yourself that 'you're quite pretty'?

Ive always disliked being told by guys that I'm 'pretty' because it seems like such an average compliment for an average girl. Youu want the guy you're interested in to think you're 'stunning' or 'gorgeous' or 'beautiful', not merely pretty :lol:
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by abcde3237
Oohh ouch !

What would have been a better sign? Like what could the guy have said that would have made it seem he was more serious about her or at least less 'casual'?

Also would you/they pursue that 'quite pretty' option or just bang her (!) if the opportunity arises or she chased you/them herself?

Does it mean different things if they tell someone else that you're quite pretty compared to if they tell you yourself that 'you're quite pretty'?

Ive always disliked being told by guys that I'm 'pretty' because it seems like such an average compliment for an average girl. Youu want the guy you're interested in to think you're 'stunning' or 'gorgeous' or 'beautiful', not merely pretty :lol:


It would be fine if he'd said 'She is really pretty' or 'She's pretty', saying 'quite' means he is consciously thinking of her as not as attractive as what he'd normally consider pretty (not the most universally flattering adjective, but it can have different connotations to different people). Negative thinking like that doesn't occur if you really like someone (honeymoon effect). He probably just wants to use her.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Cremated_Spatula
It would be fine if he'd said 'She is really pretty' or 'She's pretty', saying 'quite' means he is consciously thinking of her as not as attractive as what he'd normally consider pretty. Negative thinking like that doesn't occur if you really like someone (honeymoon effect). He probably just wants to use her.


Ahh i see what you mean, adding it in makes it seem like an afterthought almost, like oh she's pretty (but not one of the prettiest) kinda thing, which doesn't bode well if she wants to see things go further i imagine.

Also in the OP she mentioned she asked him out as opposed to him doing it, again doesn't bode well for the future of this dalliance, I find if guys like you enough they'll find a way to ask, and if you have to do it yourself (bar exceptions) then it's likely he's not that interested .
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by abcde3237
Ahh i see what you mean, adding it in makes it seem like an afterthought almost, like oh she's pretty (but not one of the prettiest) kinda thing, which doesn't bode well if she wants to see things go further i imagine.

Also in the OP she mentioned she asked him out as opposed to him doing it, again doesn't bode well for the future of this dalliance, I find if guys like you enough they'll find a way to ask, and if you have to do it yourself (bar exceptions) then it's likely he's not that interested .


Yeah, he sounds like the type of guy that would take initiative.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Foo.mp3


Girls: When dealing with such a character, if you don't see that glint in their eye,




Also what is a 'glint in the eye', surely that'd be very difficult to spot?
Original post by Anonymous
I met a guy through friends and he seemed a little bit of a flirt, but on the whole very friendly and talkative.
I saw him a second time and found him very nice, so I asked him out for a drink. Well, I added him on facebook first and then asked him like that, as I didn't know when I'd see him again.
He'd said to my friend that he liked me and that I was 'quite pretty'. and I'd told my friend I liked him so I hoped he'd say yes, and luckily he did.

We spent some time chatting on facebook in the days leading upto the date, and he was very friendly; we talked about work and the usual stuff.

We met in the city centre for a drink (I live in a town about 20 minutes' train away) and it was going well, we were getting on and stuff, and at some point he told me he wanted to 'discover' me.

However, at one point he told me that if he wants to have sex, he can easily find someone to do that with.

The thing that really put me off, was that I'd mentioned that I'd have to get the last train back, with not living in the city, and that anyway I had a dance lesson early in the morning.

He said that I could stay at his and he'd drop me back in the morning, and that we 'didn't have to do anything at all'. I politely declined as I didn't really want to (even if nothing happened) I just wanted an early night, and I didn't have any stuff with me anyway.

He insisted several times for me to stay, but I kept refusing, and he seemed disappointed.

He messaged me anyway checking i'd got back ok, and then the next day messaged me asking about my weekend. However, I didn't feel like I wanted to see him again, so I messaged him saying so, in a polite way, and he just responded with '.....'/

My friend said he was a massive flirt, and that when i'd not been there once at a party, he'd been talking loads about sex. She said it sounded like he just wanted to sleep with me, and that's why he invited me back.

What do others think from what i've said here?


nah he's a #lad with bare lad points, he deserves a cheeky nandos w his squad bc he's an absolute pussy slayer !!! #banter#doinglinesandpulling9s#LEGEND


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