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Original post by Alextaylor6
No the fact that someone is transsexual is fine , but for the vast majority of guys, dating a transexual is pretty nasty that's just how it is


yep it's pretty disgusting, I would't want to be going out with a man, pretending to be a woman
Original post by Alextaylor6
No the fact that someone is transsexual is fine , but for the vast majority of guys, dating a transexual is pretty nasty that's just how it is

yeah thats really transphobic and to say that almost an entire gender are transphobic is kinda terrible of you
Original post by kirigiri
yeah thats really transphobic and to say that almost an entire gender are transphobic is kinda terrible of you


Truth hurts xox
Good on you OP for leaving him/her. You were very civil considering you were being lied to for two years.
Original post by kirigiri
yeah thats really transphobic and to say that almost an entire gender are transphobic is kinda terrible of you


It's true. Ask any man if they would want to be with a trans 'woman' and they will definitely say no. Think of it as a preference, just like some people don't want a partner who smokes, drinks does drugs is smaller than X ft Y inches. Most men want to be with a woman who has always been female. How is that transphobic, you need to get a grip.
Original post by kirigiri
sorry in advance for long post good lord

she is a female. you are terrible. she is a she. end of.

I thought there was a difference between gender and sex. And you just used sex instead of gender. Am I missing something here? Wait.. if you used sex then maybe you believe gender and sex are the same thing? Well according to biological sex, she is actually a male. Sex does not change based on feelings. So if two people have XY chromosome and one of the them identifies as a woman does than mean his biological sex changed?


she had no obligation to tell him. there should have been no difference in his feelings because being trans shouldnt affect ones feelings (unless youre transphobic, that is). the only other time would be if they were having sex or trying to have children (depending on state of transition).
op just seems to be transphobic given the last paragraph on how he thinks of her now. therefore - op is still a dick.


So, she/he is justified in lying to him for two whole years? Did he/she took account for OP feelings? No because He/she was scared of rejection so he just thought lying to someone for two years was no big deal to save himself. So how long do you take OP should have figure out the truth? Maybe never? So someone lying about their biological sex shouldn't affect anyone? How about we apply that to lying in general? Lying shouldn't affect anyone then especially when the person you been in a relationship with for two years have been telling the biggest lie.If you wouldn't mind being a relationship with a transgender, that's just you. Not everyone is you
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Katiee224
We are all female before we are born, does it matter what gender we used to be?


Yes
I think you had a right to break up with her once you found out, but you could have handled it better. Keep in mind, this was still a person that loved you and shared a lot of experiences with you.

There was no need to be that cruel. You could have just said something like, "I'm sorry, I wish you had told me up front, but having my own biological children is important to me, so this is kind of a deal breaker."

I mean, she was having suicidal thoughts. Do you really want to be responsible for her going off the edge?
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by SmileyVibe
So she/he is justified in lying to him for two whole years? Did he/she took account for OP feelings? No because He/she was scared of rejection so he just thought lying to someone for two years was no big deal to save himself. So how long do you take OP should have figure out the truth? Maybe never? So someone lying about their biological sex shouldn't affect anyone? How about we apply that to lying in general? Lying shouldn't affect anyone then especially when the person you been in a relationship with for two years have been telling the biggest lie.If you wouldn't mind being a relationship with a transgender, that's just you. Not everyone is you

shes a she. if you cant bloody say that shes a she, then you clearly arent respectful of transgender people. misgendering people is transphobic. also, "a transgender"? classy. also rude.
WHY DO YOU THINK SHE HAS AN OBLIGATION TO TELL HIM. someones biological sex does NOT MATTER unless youre having sex (and haven't transitioned) or are trying to have children (and have).
someones biological sex should not affect someones feelings for said person.

as for the other thing that isnt quoted due to your poor formatting:
literally what are you even on about???
sex and gender are two different things but gender is what matters - unless youre having sex, sex is irrelevant.
no, your sex does not change as soon as you identify as a different gender. im not stupid. however, you can obviously transition to another sex.
she may be biologically male, but shes still female. when you talk about people you refer to their gender, not their sex. to go around saying a transwoman is a man is transphobic (if you were referring to her sex youre best off saying assigned male at birth - however, as said before, this does not need to be disclosed under most circumstances).
Original post by Mike_91
Alright so me and my girlfriend has been together now for over two years but only recently had I discovered she used to be a man.

I was in the bar with her brother and we were getting drunk and when he is drunk he has a tendency to tell the truth, which is exactly what he did. He asked me 'are you gay' and when I replied 'no', he then said 'then why are you dating a former guy'. I thought this was a joke until he went into further detail and I left and confronted my girlfriend, who at first lied until her brother came around and forced her to admit it before leaving. My girlfriend explained that she was unhappy and thought about killing herself, which was when she began to cry. I called her a 'freak' before adding our relationship was over and left her house.

Its now been two weeks and though our relationship is truly broken and it makes me feel sick to think of her as a man, I still care.


You did the right thing, she was not honest, disgusting that she lied to you. Did you actually have sex with it?
okay 1) i assume this is fake but
2) if it isnt youre an *******. someone having been designated male at birth means nothing if theyre female now. It has no relevance to the relationship. The person hasnt changed at all what has happened is they have told you something close to their heart and that it hard to say and youve **** on them for it because youre transphobic and you cant deal to date someone whos trans
Original post by Anonymous
It's true. Ask any man if they would want to be with a trans 'woman' and they will definitely say no. Think of it as a preference, just like some people don't want a partner who smokes, drinks does drugs is smaller than X ft Y inches. Most men want to be with a woman who has always been female. How is that transphobic, you need to get a grip.


Finally what needed to be said has been said!
People saying if you don't want to date transgender women is transphobic, are complete idiots
Reply 92
Original post by kirigiri
yeah thats really transphobic and to say that almost an entire gender are transphobic is kinda terrible of you


It's not transphobic at all. It's like saying a heterosexual is a homophobe because they don't want to date a member of the same sex, or a homosexual is a heterophobe for refusing to date heterosexuals.
Original post by kirigiri
if on the off chance this isnt bait:

wow, that was terrible of you! you could not have handled that much worse. she literally told you that she felt like killing herself and you thought that it was an appropriate time to call her a freak and dump her? jesus. she deserves better than you.

as to the idea of "i had the right to know/she should have told me": why??? literally what difference does it make. it doesnt matter if someone is not the same gender now as they were born as. they are the gender they identify with now. the past is irrelevent. the only time you would even remotely need to know is if youre having sex (if they havent transitioned) or if youre trying to conceive (if they have).
thinking negatively of her because shes trans is undeniably transphobic.

seriously, youre a dick, op.


@bold....What if they identify with something else tomorrow?
Do I tell you to "man up" now?
Original post by Adamski191
I understand the point you've made perfectly clear, but TBH, the guy who commented needed to be insulted. What right does he have to pass judgement at someone when his opinions are clearly biased and closed-minded? Anyways, if you want logic, I have first-hand experience of knowing a transgender person. They were born as one gender, and throughout their life showed signs that they had been born in the wrong body. Not only that, genetic material determines what sex you are at birth, but you can be assigned male, when you should have been female. Also, as I have already said, the ex girlfriend probably didn't want to tell her partner of her past to begin with because, again, she may have been scared of how he could've reacted and the effect that it might have had on their relationship. I'm not having a go (arguing) but I just wanted to better explain my views.


Adamski, sounds like an eastern european HAHAH, Hail c18...you're no wannabe.
Original post by kirigiri
shes a she. if you cant bloody say that shes a she, then you clearly arent respectful of transgender people. misgendering people is transphobic. also, "a transgender"? classy. also rude.
WHY DO YOU THINK SHE HAS AN OBLIGATION TO TELL HIM. someones biological sex does NOT MATTER unless youre having sex (and haven't transitioned) or are trying to have children (and have).
someones biological sex should not affect someones feelings for said person.

as for the other thing that isnt quoted due to your poor formatting:
literally what are you even on about???
sex and gender are two different things but gender is what matters - unless youre having sex, sex is irrelevant.
no, your sex does not change as soon as you identify as a different gender. im not stupid. however, you can obviously transition to another sex.
she may be biologically male, but shes still female. when you talk about people you refer to their gender, not their sex. to go around saying a transwoman is a man is transphobic (if you were referring to her sex youre best off saying assigned male at birth - however, as said before, this does not need to be disclosed under most circumstances).


PHOBIA PHOBIA PHOVIA, pretty sure he ain't scared of em mate, just thinks they're weird like every other rational MALE.
Original post by kirigiri
if on the off chance this isnt bait:

wow, that was terrible of you! you could not have handled that much worse. she literally told you that she felt like killing herself and you thought that it was an appropriate time to call her a freak and dump her? jesus. she deserves better than you.

as to the idea of "i had the right to know/she should have told me": why??? literally what difference does it make. it doesnt matter if someone is not the same gender now as they were born as. they are the gender they identify with now. the past is irrelevent. the only time you would even remotely need to know is if youre having sex (if they havent transitioned) or if youre trying to conceive (if they have).
thinking negatively of her because shes trans is undeniably transphobic.

seriously, youre a dick, op.

Trans woman =/= real woman.

Nothing wrong with OP wanting a real woman.
Original post by Katiee224
We are all female before we are born, does it matter what gender we used to be?


Okay, It doesn't matter what gender you are in the 21st century BUT, the problem is that in Mike_91's case is that his relationship with his girlfriend wouldn't be able to progress any further than what it already is. After all (sorry if I put this too bluntly) his girlfriend will never conceive a child and so there would be no point if Mike_91 wants to sire children.

I also understand that it must be hard for Mike_91's girlfriend as it is obviously not a subject she wanted to let you in one. But at the end of the day it was Mike_91's call to end the relationship as it obviously made him uncomfortable.

And one last thing, we are NOT all female before we are born. Why? your mother and father both have 23 chromosomes in their gametes. These fuse during sexual reproduction to create an embryo. In the 23rd chromosome of the male, it is decided whether it is to be an xx or and xY chromosome. This is already decided when the embryo is formed so we are not all born females.
Original post by kirigiri
shes a she. if you cant bloody say that shes a she, then you clearly arent respectful of transgender people. misgendering people is transphobic. also, "a transgender"? classy. also rude.
WHY DO YOU THINK SHE HAS AN OBLIGATION TO TELL HIM. someones biological sex does NOT MATTER unless youre having sex (and haven't transitioned) or are trying to have children (and have).
someones biological sex should not affect someones feelings for said person.

as for the other thing that isnt quoted due to your poor formatting:
literally what are you even on about???
sex and gender are two different things but gender is what matters - unless youre having sex, sex is irrelevant.
no, your sex does not change as soon as you identify as a different gender. im not stupid. however, you can obviously transition to another sex.
she may be biologically male, but shes still female. when you talk about people you refer to their gender, not their sex. to go around saying a transwoman is a man is transphobic (if you were referring to her sex youre best off saying assigned male at birth - however, as said before, this does not need to be disclosed under most circumstances).


The OP has every right to feel cheated. Stop with this liberal BS of "Oh but he was fine up to the point it was revealed that they were not a real woman so he should just deal with it", thats a load of crap you're peddling. I couldn't expect less from an overly liberal shmuck tbh. If the OP wants to go out with a girl, he goes out with a real girl, not an impostor. OP handled the breakup bad but come on. And you ignore the deception they are promoting. He was with this person for years and they were lying the whole time. Either be honest or get the hell out because it is the OPs business.