Just discovered my girlfriend used to be a man

if on the off chance this isnt bait:

wow, that was terrible of you! you could not have handled that much worse. she literally told you that she felt like killing herself and you thought that it was an appropriate time to call her a freak and dump her? jesus. she deserves better than you.

as to the idea of "i had the right to know/she should have told me": why??? literally what difference does it make. it doesnt matter if someone is not the same gender now as they were born as. they are the gender they identify with now. the past is irrelevent. the only time you would even remotely need to know is if youre having sex (if they havent transitioned) or if youre trying to conceive (if they have).
thinking negatively of her because shes trans is undeniably transphobic.

seriously, youre a dick, op.

okay 1) i assume this is fake but
2) if it isnt youre an *******. someone having been designated male at birth means nothing if theyre female now. It has no relevance to the relationship. The person hasnt changed at all what has happened is they have told you something close to their heart and that it hard to say and youve **** on them for it because youre transphobic and you cant deal to date someone whos trans

The OP has every right to feel cheated. Stop with this liberal BS of "Oh but he was fine up to the point it was revealed that they were not a real woman so he should just deal with it", thats a load of crap you're peddling. I couldn't expect less from an overly liberal shmuck tbh. If the OP wants to go out with a girl, he goes out with a real girl, not an impostor. OP handled the breakup bad but come on. And you ignore the deception they are promoting. He was with this person for years and they were lying the whole time. Either be honest or get the hell out because it is the OPs business.

I can't believe how many people on here actually believe that liberal nonsense. This is madness and I doubt that most guys would ever want to date someone who is not a natural woman. There is nothing wrong with that, righty? Or maybe you and I are just transphobic...

Alright so me and my girlfriend has been together now for over two years but only recently had I discovered she used to be a man.

I was in the bar with her brother and we were getting drunk and when he is drunk he has a tendency to tell the truth, which is exactly what he did. He asked me 'are you gay' and when I replied 'no', he then said 'then why are you dating a former guy'. I thought this was a joke until he went into further detail and I left and confronted my girlfriend, who at first lied until her brother came around and forced her to admit it before leaving. My girlfriend explained that she was unhappy and thought about killing herself, which was when she began to cry. I called her a 'freak' before adding our relationship was over and left her house.

Its now been two weeks and though our relationship is truly broken and it makes me feel sick to think of her as a man, I still care.

Well, I say you handled that well. Only improvement I would add is that you should have posted his secret to his FB wall too.

It doesn't matter whether this is a true story or not, what is important is the widespread, hidden transphobia people are exemplifying throughout this thread.

"She should've told him" - when? On their first date? Two weeks in? Please. OP dated this person for who she is. She's the exact same person now as she was last week, back when OP supposedly liked her. Nothing's changed. The only reason you would leave someone over something like this is embarrassment, and anger at yourself, for dating someone who is trans - and that my friend, is transphobia. This is similar to men who get angry when/if they find out that their (female) partner has had a multitude of sexual partners in the past. It's laughable - get over yourself, you're not that special.

This shyte about "trust" is an easy mask to put on to avoid making all that obvious. Oh yeah trust is the foundation to all relationships look at me I'm a 24 year old virgin on TSR and I'm wise as f*** when it comes to this. Stfu this has nothing to do with trust, or lies. She was not doing anything over the course of their relationship that she was hiding from the OP. Alala, you people are sad.

shes a she. if you cant bloody say that shes a she, then you clearly arent respectful of transgender people. misgendering people is transphobic. also, "a transgender"? classy. also rude.
WHY DO YOU THINK SHE HAS AN OBLIGATION TO TELL HIM. someones biological sex does NOT MATTER unless youre having sex (and haven't transitioned) or are trying to have children (and have).
someones biological sex should not affect someones feelings for said person.

I can respect transgenders as humans beings as they are but if someone told me that they were a guy despite having the exact body type as me, I'm going to call them their biological sex. I don't think you understand what respect actually is. According to you, respect means agree what everything I say and believe everything I say, and that is not how respect works. Maybe it does to you but I'm not going to label someone disrespectful because of a different opinion. Of course someone biological sex matters.

OP is a straight male. Would you tell a homosexual male that gender doesn't matter if he just learned his b/f is actually a girl and doesn't have a real penis? Some people are not bothered by dating the same sex with GID but does that mean all people should not be bothered? Its a preference. Gender/sex does play a role in attraction since his g/f or b/f's appearance looked like a female. OP was attracted to his g/f or b/f exterior. It matters because OP was completely unaware. You're allowed to be offended by "transphobic" remarks or "misgendering" but OP should not be hurt that his g/f or b/f has been lying for two years?

as for the other thing that isnt quoted due to your poor formatting:
literally what are you even on about???
sex and gender are two different things but gender is what matters - unless youre having sex, sex is irrelevant.
no, your sex does not change as soon as you identify as a different gender. im not stupid. however, you can obviously transition to another sex.
she may be biologically male, but shes still female. when you talk about people you refer to their gender, not their sex. to go around saying a transwoman is a man is transphobic (if you were referring to her sex youre best off saying assigned male at birth - however, as said before, this does not need to be disclosed under most circumstances).

Even if this bizarre bulshit of a story was true- shame on you and on everyone who liked this post- I would be able to understand the reaction- heck I would freak too and might say that too (though regret it later for sure)- but the extra FB wall thing- why? Is the incident in the bar not humiliation enough for a human being- You want to attempt to ruin their life too in that way- and not let them tell everyone when they're ready? ( given it would be bound to spread to everyone in social circle eventually). Assuming not homophobic, people don't seem to have too much of a problem with a gay person staying in the closet and would respect that- this is exactly the same thing- not condoning the deceit though.
(Assuming said bulshit by OP were true)

Edit: I am straight myself and I like real natural women and would never ever date a transgender- I agree with everyone it is not some kind of discrimination to be put off by them- most people have voiced my similar views on this so I won't repeat myself

It's not transphobic at all. It's like saying a heterosexual is a homophobe because they don't want to date a member of the same sex, or a homosexual is a heterophobe for refusing to date heterosexuals.

@bold....What if they identify with something else tomorrow?

PHOBIA PHOBIA PHOVIA, pretty sure he ain't scared of em mate, just thinks they're weird like every other rational MALE.

The OP has every right to feel cheated. Stop with this liberal BS of "Oh but he was fine up to the point it was revealed that they were not a real woman so he should just deal with it", thats a load of crap you're peddling. I couldn't expect less from an overly liberal shmuck tbh. If the OP wants to go out with a girl, he goes out with a real girl, not an impostor. OP handled the breakup bad but come on. And you ignore the deception they are promoting. He was with this person for years and they were lying the whole time. Either be honest or get the hell out because it is the OPs business.

Trans woman =/= real woman.

Nothing wrong with OP wanting a real woman.

no, its not a preference. transwomen are women. thats it. if you wont date a transwoman because she is trans, thats transphobic. not all transwomen even have penises.


then you respect that?


oh dont be a dumb twit. thats not the meaning of phobia in this context and if you had two bloody brain cells youd know it. consider it to be the same type as in homophobia (and if youre going to argue thats a fear too, im afraid youre beyond saving)
and "every other rational male"? ouch. give males more credit than that. most of them are better than you.


transwoman = woman. transwomen are real women.


stop trying to be a smartass - she is a woman. end of. to say she is a man, or to call her a he, is absolutely disrespectful and there is no way around that.
(also - see intersex)

Yeah no. A transgender woman is not a real woman, sorry to burst your liberalised bubble. They cant procreate and give birth to life. They think they are something theyre not.

Yeah no. A transgender woman is not a real woman, sorry to burst your liberalised bubble. They cant procreate and give birth to life. They think they are something theyre not.

I'm pretty sure I'm infertile. Does that mean I'm not a real man? No, so shut the **** up before you really shoot yourself in the foot. Oh yeah, too late.

Posted from TSR Mobile

By your definition, any woman who is infertile or postmenopause is not a woman.

no, its not a preference. transwomen are women. thats it. if you wont date a transwoman because she is trans, thats transphobic. not all transwomen even have penises.


transwoman = woman. transwomen are real women.

(also - see intersex)

no, its not a preference. transwomen are women. thats it. if you wont date a transwoman because she is trans, thats transphobic. not all transwomen even have penises.


then you respect that?


oh dont be a dumb twit. thats not the meaning of phobia in this context and if you had two bloody brain cells youd know it. consider it to be the same type as in homophobia (and if youre going to argue thats a fear too, im afraid youre beyond saving)
and "every other rational male"? ouch. give males more credit than that. most of them are better than you.


transwoman = woman. transwomen are real women.


stop trying to be a smartass - she is a woman. end of. to say she is a man, or to call her a he, is absolutely disrespectful and there is no way around that.
(also - see intersex)