Relationship at university with guy who lives close

So I'll be going to a university where the guy I've been seeing on and off for 3 years lives, one of the reasons why we stopped seeing each other was because he moved.
So I managed to get an offer at a university I really liked which happened to be 5 mins away from him. He's not going to uni but unfortunately he's working abroad for 6 months so we will have to go on a break.
He thinks it won't work out bcos relationships don't work at uni , probably thinks I'll find someone at uni... We haven't been in a proper relationship but I don't understand why he won't think it will work??
How do I convince him?

Reply 1

raepatricks

Tell him that he shouldn't be so cynical. Yes, some relationships don't work at uni but that doesn't mean that all relationships don't work out at uni. Relationships are what you decide to make of them. If you're interested in him and only him, just tell him that, express how you feel and put forward your argument of why and how you think you can both make this work.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Foo.mp3

A: He's either beta or just not that into you

he does really like me, he hasn't met anyone else that he likes, thats why he keeps coming back to me after all these years.

lmao i don't understand his deal though, sometimes he thinks I'm too good for him and thinks ill cheat and find someone new -__-

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by raepatricks

okay, although sometimes he's such an ass to me and doesn't make an effort despite liking me a lot. its just who he is but idk how to change his ways. i see my future with him though, hopefully he will change :frown:

Reply 4

raepatricks

Original post by Anonymous

in what sense do you mean he's an ass to you? and if he doesn't make much effort you have to question whether it's really worth it. Never settle for less than you deserve in the hope things will get better because you'll only regret it years on from now when he's still the same and you hate that aspect about him.

Reply 5

annihilati0n

I mean, yeah, I could get anyone I wanted tbh, but the fact I've known him for these many years and never met anyone who i have a deep connection with makes me reserved towards any other guys, I'm not the one to fk around but it probably will happen at uni and I agree that he knows that would happen.
I just don't want to end it :frown:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Foo.mp3

Ok, he's beta AF. Deep down you probably don't fully respect him either, and will get propositioned by guys who are much more alpha at uni and wind up ****ing them in all probability. He's trying to insulate himself from the heartache that he sees coming his way

Sorry it didn't embed your quote ^^^

Reply 7

guilbert

If the relationship is still on/off after three years I'd suggest it's time to more on.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by raepatricks

he doesn't show any affection and shouts at me, he jokes around about fking my friends and stuff, its not really nice. okokok

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by guilbert

If the relationship is still on/off after three years I'd suggest it's time to more on.

but its been 3 years!!! i cant just move on pretending i didn't spend 3 years of my life liking this guy

Reply 10

guilbert

Original post by Anonymous

but its been 3 years!!! i cant just move on pretending i didn't spend 3 years of my life liking this guy

I'm not saying you have to pretend you don't / didn't like him but make sure you're remembering the relationship as it actually is rather than how you wish it was.

From what you say it seems pretty clear the relationship isn't working - how much longer are you going to give it? 5 years? 10? 20?