I'm in love with my best friend

This is killing me.

Okay, so I'm a girl and he's a boy, we're both 17 and we are best friends. We've known each other for four years and I would seriously give my life up for him. I tell him everything and we have a lot in common with our family's problems etc, and I trust him with my life. Likewise, he trusts me because he's told me stuff that (apparently) no one else knows. Anyway, I thought for most of our friendship that this was just platonic caring for my best friend, but recently I've been feeling different. Twice in the past two weeks, we've been drunk together and he's told me how much I mean to him. It's quite obviously platonic but the fact that he vocalised how much I mean to him (which neither of us would do while sober) really knocked me for six. I now have the utter urge to see him constantly - I did before but now it's slightly different. I get the urge to hold his hand or just hug him, when normally both of us are made uncomfortable by physical contact and I would never have had this urge before. It's killing me - I see him almost every day because he goes out of his way to see me (we live about half an hours drive apart and he always drives to see me) and each time I do I feel worse. I love him to pieces but I don't want to be IN LOVE with him, which I'm scared might be happening.

I just had to get this out of my system because I can't tell anybody. I've never had such a good friendship and I would never want to ruin it.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Anyone have any advice/have been in a similar situation?

Reply 2

UWS

Unfortunately it's hard to turn a strong friendship like that into a relationship. The consequences of it not working out are severe, your friendship would be damaged beyond repair.

It sounds like the hallmarks of a good friendship, do not ruin it.

I've been in that situation before and I ended up ruining a friendship because of it.

Reply 3

sleepysnooze

girls and boys cannot just be friends
eventually, one of them will fall in love, so long as the other isn't ugly (this usually happens to the guy)
if you're objecting to this fact, you're probably thinking of an example that hasn't been long-term enough.
I don't think I've ever even *heard* of an example/anecdote of best friends who are guys/girls that has lasted 30+ years, for instance.

I just got a boner

this sort of thing always ends in heartbreak for one party (often the girl) who becomes too emotionally invested, whilst the other party seemingly couldn't care for the others feelings. when you go to uni you guys will fall apart for sure. better to keep what you have rather than risk it for a few months of passion.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by neal95

Funny thing is, we (by accident/coincidence) ended up planning to go to the same uni.

Reply 7

username1177050

Original post by Anonymous

Funny thing is, we (by accident/coincidence) ended up planning to go to the same uni.

thing is, unless ou actually live in the same accommodation/halls, you will make your own friendship groups and probably still remain mates but not be as close. however you should consider being FWB after a night out you could text etc lol

Reply 8

Kittyboy

Don't go for it. My God is this situation in familiar waters.

I fell in love with my best friend. After telling her about my feelings, we lost touch. She kind of laughed it off, but it was never the same. The texting etc. and going out consistently stopped.

I'd do anything to get that friendship back, but it's gone. All I'm saying is the risk is too big, and you'll just end up hurting yourself most likely.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Anyone have any advice/have been in a similar situation?

I just posted on your other thread about how I understand what you're going through as I basically could've written a very similar post to yours.

My advice? Just let things happen naturally if they are going to. That's what I plan on doing as I definitely don't want to risk ruining our friendship.*

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Kittyboy

That's one of the main reasons I'm keeping it to myself. I'm perfectly happy in our friendship and it would absolutely crush me to lose it. The thing is, while the friendship is amazing, it's felt for the past while that it's being suppressed in some way and that it should be jumping the final hurdle to something ultimate. That makes little to no sense but it's the only way I can explain it.

Reply 11

Kittyboy

Original post by Anonymous

it's felt for the past while that it's being suppressed in some way and that it should be jumping the final hurdle to something ultimate.

It's as if you've taken that directly from my brain.

I too felt that the relationship was suppressed. I acted, and it failed. Looking back, it was probably just a delusion - the only person subdued was me. Honestly, there's no going back if you commit. Good luck in your decision.

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

Anyone have any advice/have been in a similar situation?

This is kind of awkward, the situation is very similar to mine and it looks like I am the guy. I didn't know you also used TSR?

Reply 13

rebelllefleur

Don't do it.

I've been there and done that. It's really not worth the drama, at all.

Reply 14

Napp

trust me on this one, avoid it at all costs it will not end well.

Reply 15

99_Problems

Don't do it, destroyed a good friendship doing this. That was eight years ago now but I still wince when I think about it.

Reply 16

robin567

Original post by Anonymous

If i was you i wouldnt go through that root it happend to me. I had a great friendship with a girl then we took our friendship to another level and we were officially dating...... 1 yr and a half later we broke up and we totally losed contacts we never spoken to eachother since which is frankly heartbreaking and i do not have the urge to contact her as it is now very awkward tbh

Reply 17

Hopefully1

Original post by Anonymous

This is kind of awkward, the situation is very similar to mine and it looks like I am the guy. I didn't know you also used TSR?

So if you are "the guy" (or the guy in a similar situation) how do you feel about it? Would you want to enter into a relationship or keep it friendship?

Really, everyone's situation is different. I know an older couple who were friends
from high school but didn't see each other as romantic interests until they had both left uni and had jobs. They got married many years ago.