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Mixed signals Tinder guy...

So there's this totally cute guy I met on Tinder, he seemed keen, asked me for my number etc. After a couple of weeks, he's still really flirty and keeps implying that we're going to meet one day, but he won't actually ask me?? And he takes hourssss to reply to messages. I could ask him out, but I don't wanna look too keen especially since it takes him like twice as long to reply to messages as I do. What even the heck?!

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Original post by Crazy Sheep
So there's this totally cute guy I met on Tinder, he seemed keen, asked me for my number etc. After a couple of weeks, he's still really flirty and keeps implying that we're going to meet one day, but he won't actually ask me?? And he takes hourssss to reply to messages. I could ask him out, but I don't wanna look too keen especially since it takes him like twice as long to reply to messages as I do. What even the heck?!


I am not really into playing "hard to get" or whatever, just be straight up and ask him if he fancies grabbing a drink on x day and if he ignores it or is hesitant then whatever, plenty more fish in the sea. Life's too short after all.
Maybe he's trying to play it cool? Maybe he's nervous about asking? Maybe he's really a 50 year old man called steve and can't always reply because he's on the run from the police. There's just not enough information for us to be able to tell you.
Original post by dean01234
Maybe he's trying to play it cool? Maybe he's nervous about asking? Maybe he's really a 50 year old man called steve and can't always reply because he's on the run from the police. There's just not enough information for us to be able to tell you.


^^ Yep.
Original post by Crazy Sheep
So there's this totally cute guy I met on Tinder, he seemed keen, asked me for my number etc. After a couple of weeks, he's still really flirty and keeps implying that we're going to meet one day, but he won't actually ask me?? And he takes hourssss to reply to messages. I could ask him out, but I don't wanna look too keen especially since it takes him like twice as long to reply to messages as I do. What even the heck?!


Typical Men. You like them. They like you. Yet they take 1hr to reply, unless its for nude then they take no less than 10 sec to reply 😄😄😄😄
Ask him if he wants to meet up- if he gets cold feet then he's basically wasting your time anyway. If you're nervous about being the one to ask him on a date outright, you could ask him why he's on Tinder/ what he's looking for on it. Some people just use it as an ego booster so it's worth making sure you're not being strung along or being benched. May not be nice to stop talking to someone when you've emotionally invested in getting to know them and committed yourself to the idea of dating them, but ultimately frees you up to meet someone who will actually reciprocate your feelings.

Also, until you know the circumstances don't read too much into why he doesn't reply straight away. He could be at work/ seeing mates/ trying to get something sorted. As long as he replies same day/ apologises for slow replies I wouldn't stress too much about it. :smile:
Then there's me awaiting replies from girls who abandoned our convos months ago.

Reply 7
Original post by BlondeBookworm
Ask him if he wants to meet up- if he gets cold feet then he's basically wasting your time anyway. If you're nervous about being the one to ask him on a date outright, you could ask him why he's on Tinder/ what he's looking for on it. Some people just use it as an ego booster so it's worth making sure you're not being strung along or being benched. May not be nice to stop talking to someone when you've emotionally invested in getting to know them and committed yourself to the idea of dating them, but ultimately frees you up to meet someone who will actually reciprocate your feelings.

Also, until you know the circumstances don't read too much into why he doesn't reply straight away. He could be at work/ seeing mates/ trying to get something sorted. As long as he replies same day/ apologises for slow replies I wouldn't stress too much about it. :smile:


He told me he wanted to see me this week, I asked him when he is free - that was this morning, but no response. I've asked him before what he is looking for in a girl, and he just replied asking me what I was offering. Maybe he's busy, but I don't know how much time is acceptable to give him before it becomes stringing along.
Original post by Crazy Sheep
He told me he wanted to see me this week, I asked him when he is free - that was this morning, but no response. I've asked him before what he is looking for in a girl, and he just replied asking me what I was offering. Maybe he's busy, but I don't know how much time is acceptable to give him before it becomes stringing along.


I'd wait for a bit if you can bear it- if you can just chill out and not stress about it? If you're waiting more than a few days for a reply, then personally I'd find that super infuriating and just move on- unless I knew that there was a reason why. Sounds like he's expecting you to work around him so perhaps just start being less accommodating for him? If he's keen he'll work a bit harder. In the meantime, why not chat to some others? May help you to justify whether this guy is worth your time or not.

Sorry hope that doesn't sound too hard line, but I do find with dating apps that there is so much choice it can be heart-breaking to invest a lot in someone who was basically just playing the field. People can and do commit having met on dating apps, but unfortunately there's a lot of sifting to do first. To continue the metaphor, this one sounds like he needs a good shake! :wink:
Is he definitely a real account? As in not a catfish? Often if guys are putting off meeting up it means they're fake. Have you spoken to him on Skype or even just Snapchat? Otherwise it's a lot easier than you might think for someone to catfish!
Reply 10
Original post by BlondeBookworm
I'd wait for a bit if you can bear it- if you can just chill out and not stress about it? If you're waiting more than a few days for a reply, then personally I'd find that super infuriating and just move on- unless I knew that there was a reason why. Sounds like he's expecting you to work around him so perhaps just start being less accommodating for him? If he's keen he'll work a bit harder. In the meantime, why not chat to some others? May help you to justify whether this guy is worth your time or not.

Sorry hope that doesn't sound too hard line, but I do find with dating apps that there is so much choice it can be heart-breaking to invest a lot in someone who was basically just playing the field. People can and do commit having met on dating apps, but unfortunately there's a lot of sifting to do first. To continue the metaphor, this one sounds like he needs a good shake! :wink:

I'll give him a good shake if I ever meet him :angry: he eventually replied last night, his response to "when are you free" was "I don't know", I immediately replied asking why he was putting it off but no reply yet. Yeah I'm not bothering with him anymore :tongue:

Original post by Hep Guardiola
Is he definitely a real account? As in not a catfish? Often if guys are putting off meeting up it means they're fake. Have you spoken to him on Skype or even just Snapchat? Otherwise it's a lot easier than you might think for someone to catfish!

Well I stalked his Facebook, he seemed legit, had hundreds of friends, posts going back years including plenty of photos of him. Could be that his fb isn't linked to the Tinder account though.
Original post by Crazy Sheep
I'll give him a good shake if I ever meet him :angry: he eventually replied last night, his response to "when are you free" was "I don't know", I immediately replied asking why he was putting it off but no reply yet. Yeah I'm not bothering with him anymore :tongue: * *

Well I think you've got a lot of fun ahead! :biggrin: He sounds like a complete wet blanket with that sort of response- it's one thing to be cute, but no good at all if he only exists virtually! :wink:
Have you Skyped? Facetimed? SC?? If not he's,fake if you meet without doing these he'll KILL you as he's lying!!

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Reply 13
Jesus Christ. Grow up its tinder and given you have to use it to get a bit of nooky youre not in such a position to complain about him taking a wee while to reply, not to mention hes probably not with his phone the entire time.
How old is he?
Reply 15
Original post by Napp
Jesus Christ. Grow up its tinder and given you have to use it to get a bit of nooky youre not in such a position to complain about him taking a wee while to reply, not to mention hes probably not with his phone the entire time.


No need to be so rude. He invested a lot of time and effort into getting me to like him, and then he texted me less and less until eventually he stopped replying and unmatched me. It was cold and calculated, not just being busy, I can tell the difference.
Tinder guys are the lowest grade of guys you'll come across. Don't expect much unless it just for shits and giggles.
Original post by xobeauty
Tinder guys are the lowest grade of guys you'll come across. Don't expect much unless it just for shits and giggles.


damn
Original post by hezzlington
damn


Mad funny.:colondollar:


Excluding you, you are a good grade.


Sike.
Original post by Napp
Jesus Christ. Grow up its tinder and given you have to use it to get a bit of nooky youre not in such a position to complain about him taking a wee while to reply, not to mention hes probably not with his phone the entire time.


I think OP is justified in posting. Tinder is NOT just for hook-ups and I know quite a few people who have had/ are in long lasting relationships thanks to Tinder. It is not a reflection of anyone having 'failed' to obtain a SO in real life, but when you think about it we mainly exist in our work/ friend circles and does anybody really want it to get complicated with friends or colleagues? It can work, but it's a very small pool to be fishing from. Tinder on the other hand increases the chances of you finding someone who 'ticks your boxes', but as there is so much choice it's important to weed out the time wasters.

Original post by xobeauty
Tinder guys are the lowest grade of guys you'll come across. Don't expect much unless it just for shits and giggles.


Tinder may encourage people to live more hedonistically (hence why it's important to be vigilant) but 'Tinder guys' are not a strange species- we're all humans that could have met in real life, and it's a bit reductive to reduce a person down to the app on which you met them (unless of course, you intend it in the pejorative sense. Have certainly called someone the Tinder Tw*t before now...) But on the whole I think you've got to be open minded and not think that everyone is a product of Tinder. Yeah, have met some strange souls on there, but also some genuinely nice people and have had a good time with them.

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