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Short lived relationships

I find my relationships last a very short time few months tops I feel like guys don't fall in love love with me like other girls and start to plan a life.
I am very loving and don't play hard to get as I kind of see it as pathetic and mean but then I feel like guys kind of need a girl to put them in their place and I'm too much of a doormat or whatever.
But the tough thing is I like my personality - I make new friends and crushes very easily and I don't want that to change.
I'm also pretty insecure. I feel less beautiful than when I was younger and for some reason that makes me want to rush into sex because I cant see why else a guy would like me.
Would love to hear your advice.

Reply 1

Adamski191

Well (if I were straight, of course) I'd be perfectly fine with you. Playing hard to get just makes one look pretty desperate anyway. Don't worry about those guys. You are fine the way you are, and eventually, the right man will encounter you and you may get that happy ever after you want (not that I'm saying you believe in them). If they truly appreciate you for who you are, they'll make sure to make you feel beautiful, to no extent possible. Love can be a complex thing to grasp a hold of. When the time's right, you'll know if it's love you feel for someone. Happy travels!

Reply 2

Historystudent12

Thanks so much that made me smile :-) Yes I think I have to enjoy it and accept whether it lasts or doesn't

Reply 3

egarna

you're fine the way you are and you'll find someone that accepts that. you shouldn't consider changing yourself to maintain a relationship because then they're not liking you for who you are. my advice would be to stop focussing on relationships and concentrate on yourself - take up a new hobby or enjoy going out with your friends, then romance will follow :smile:

Reply 4

username1726117

Original post by Historystudent12

I find my relationships last a very short time few months tops

You are getting dating experience. :smile:

Original post by Historystudent12

I feel like guys don't fall in love love with me like other girls and start to plan a life.

Real love takes time to blossom. If these guys are dropping you within a short period of time, then be glad they're making way for you to find the right person.

Original post by Historystudent12

I am very loving and don't play hard to get as I kind of see it as pathetic and mean but then I feel like guys kind of need a girl to put them in their place and I'm too much of a doormat or whatever.

Excellent characteristics/behavior to have, and I applaud you for it. Do not change to accommodate the unnecessary complications of young teenage/adults relationships; there is a reason why a lot of drama surrounds them and why these relationships often end up in the dust. You are going against the norm, and in time will find a more fruitful relationship because of it.

Original post by Historystudent12

But the tough thing is I like my personality - I make new friends and crushes very easily and I don't want that to change.

Does Historystudent12 like herself? CHECK.
Does Historystudent12 engage with other people? CHECK.
Does Historystudent12 engage with these people in a way that allows her to form meaningful friendships, or open up the opportunities for new love interests? CHECK.

Original post by Historystudent12

I'm also pretty insecure. I feel less beautiful than when I was younger and for some reason that makes me want to rush into sex because I cant see why else a guy would like me.

Rushing into sex is perhaps one of the worst things you can do when it comes to forming a relationship with a guy. Countless threads on countless forums are made each and every day because a woman has got her heart broken or her mind confused over a guy who she has slept with within a short period of time, only for him to vanish into thin air. A common mistake, easily avoided if one listens to their mind and not their heart. Respect yourself enough to not give yourself to someone so quickly (unless with the understanding that it won't go anywhere IE. FWB, One night stands etc).

All-in-all, you're not doing anything inherently wrong, you've just had a string of bad luck. If you read what I've said and read between the lines you'll notice I'm taking the situations you've described and turned them into positives, whereas right now you'll be focused on the negatives. Take pride that you're a desirable woman with dating experience with a heart of gold and a head on your shoulders. One day someone will walk into your life, sweep you off your feet, and you'll live a happy, fun, engaging life together.