The Student Room Group

Is she losing interest?

I've been on three dates in the past 3 weeks with this girl and everything was going well, she would always text and put m thought into her answers. We went on a date two days ago where she has hugging me all night and eventually I went in for the kiss which was awkward but she didn't seem to fazed by it there and then. Ever since she has been replying less and today she said she was round a friends but wasn't enjoying it so I said she can text me if she wants. She took 2 hours to reply and then after I replied she went and said she fell asleep the following afternoon. Is she losing interest? It just seems weird how if she wasn't having fun why randomly stop texting and then not text to say she was home. Something feels different since the awkward kiss the other day. She was replying fast before hand to (at the longest taking 15 minutes) but now she is taking 30 minutes or longer for some texts, not all of them. She did say she was quite shy so could this be her going back into her shell? Or is it her being interested but trying to come off as not desperate?
At least you get to go on dates. this one seems like she is worth it/won't lose interest. It's the ones that just talk online and never meet they are the ones who lose interest/never had interest
(edited 7 years ago)
If I was you I would cut that **** off
Reply 3
Don't overthink this too much it doesn't help anyone. Just ask about another date and judge it when you're face to face, not via text and response time. If she's "Busy" and doesn't suggest another time to reshedule then in response to the title: yes. Otherwise just judge it from the date, and please don't overthink this stuff, relationships are suppose to be an enjoyable thing, overthinking isn't fun for anyone, just let these things flow or evole one way or another. Good luck.
Reply 4
Original post by JoeyTr
Don't overthink this too much it doesn't help anyone. Just ask about another date and judge it when you're face to face, not via text and response time. If she's "Busy" and doesn't suggest another time to reshedule then in response to the title: yes. Otherwise just judge it from the date, and please don't overthink this stuff, relationships are suppose to be an enjoyable thing, overthinking isn't fun for anyone, just let these things flow or evole one way or another. Good luck.

I definitely do overthink a lot but it really does seem strange. She used to reply within 2-10 minutes of a night as she doesnt do much and is always just watching tv and now shes taking around 20 or 30
You've got to remember that there is a boundary between friend and friend, to friend and lover and maybe she's just not used to seeing you in the 'lover' light, but in the 'friend' light'- so she was a bit taken aback by it and isn't sure how to respond.
Reply 6
Original post by surreptitious
You've got to remember that there is a boundary between friend and friend, to friend and lover and maybe she's just not used to seeing you in the 'lover' light, but in the 'friend' light'- so she was a bit taken aback by it and isn't sure how to respond.

Surely if that was the case she wouldnt of spend the whole night holding my hand and cuddled up to me though?
Reply 7
Original post by neal95
At least you get to go on dates. this one seems like she is worth it/won't lose interest. It's the ones that just talk online and never meet they are the ones who lose interest/never had interest


I suppose. I just feel like somethings different, maybe its me
Dude, chill out. You're making too much of it. It's good that you know you're over-thinking, and sometimes if you like a girl that much or don't have the abundance you can't really help it. It's only been 2 days ago, just give her some space, and don't come across needy. Maybe she's busy with personal stuff, who knows, only she knows. If she's consistently "losing interest" after say a good few weeks then that's probably stronger evidence, but for now just chill!
I know bro, I'm never normally like it but I don't know what it is I've just never felt like this about anyone before and don't know how to act haha. Do you think I should ask her how she feels on the next date? Or is it too soon
Original post by bobding123
I know bro, I'm never normally like it but I don't know what it is I've just never felt like this about anyone before and don't know how to act haha. Do you think I should ask her how she feels on the next date? Or is it too soon
Be careful you don't have "oneitis" - see my vid on it - it's a dangerous thing!

Personally I'm always a bit wary asking girls such serious matters, especially when you're not in a proper relationship. I think her behavior should be intuitive to go on (although I appreciate you say she's shy), or if you're too emotionally influenced by it - ask for a mate's opinion. If you ask her out in say a week or so and she comes out - I think that's a good sign. If she's not interested, or if she's busy and doesn't suggest a more convenient day, then I'd leave it for a bit.
Yeah that's the only reason I was thinking of asking her, She has said she's shy over and over again to me haha. We went out the Friday just gone so I was thinking of asking her out on another date towards the end of this week
Original post by bobding123
Yeah that's the only reason I was thinking of asking her, She has said she's shy over and over again to me haha. We went out the Friday just gone so I was thinking of asking her out on another date towards the end of this week
My opinion is give her some space. 3 dates in 3 weeks is a fair bit. I realise you like her a lot, but try and control yourself!

I do have to applaud you for making the move for the kiss though. Some guys don't escalate and that puts them in a more difficult position and possibly being friend-zoned. You showed your intent and now she's probably thinking about it, or even getting friends' opinions about it. Give her some time :smile:
Original post by Mustard-man
My opinion is give her some space. 3 dates in 3 weeks is a fair bit. I realise you like her a lot, but try and control yourself!

I do have to applaud you for making the move for the kiss though. Some guys don't escalate and that puts them in a more difficult position and possibly being friend-zoned. You showed your intent and now she's probably thinking about it, or even getting friends' opinions about it. Give her some time :smile:


Once a week is too much? I mean i dont want her to think i'm not interested and if im only texting her to confirm dates and the occasional chat then i would of thought once a week would be fine

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