I can't be friends with people with mental issues?

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Original post by LavenderBlueSky88

There are many different manifestations of mental health problems. People with PD are going to be challenging as that's the nature of it - it is very hard to maintain friendships with people who have these types of issues. It doesn't make you a bad person or discriminatory to find it hard.*

Yeah, I'm not "writing off" people w/ MH issues ofc, I just find it really hard to get on with them a lot of the time (at least, people I know who have come out with those problems). I do know people who seem to get on with them OK though, but they sometimes also have MH issues so maybe they can understand them better, or less positive than me

Reply 41

Millieconfused

Original post by UKCATrocks

I am not sure what the issue is. Do you make it a challenge for yourself to be successful at dating someone with MH? If so, that sounds like a sick thing to do.
At the end of the day, you need to find someone who suits you. In a way we all have some kind of personality disorder (or quirkiness :smile:

I like to call it). My partner is very clingy and needy but I have learnt to deal with it. If I had a different personality I might not be able to cope with it. So just look at the feeling that being with that person creates in you, and if you don't like it then get out of the relationship. Many people with no MH are also very difficult to be with.

No, but I've found a lot of people with MH problems impossible to be friends/date. As I said to Lavender above maybe it's that I'm more positive myself. Agree with your last sentence :P

Good advice thanks :smile:

Reply 42

LavenderBlueSky88

Original post by Millieconfused

Don't forget some people use mental health problems as an excuse to act unreasonably. Not saying these people do that but I've certainly come across a few eg; get blind drunk and start yelling at everyone and throwing things - keep everyone up all night then in the morning just be like I can't help it I'm depressed... Lol whut. Or constantly refer to their problems for attention - which is incredibly grating. *

Reply 43

Millieconfused

Original post by LavenderBlueSky88

Yeah, the hipster girl I mentioned in OP is always either mentioning her problems to me and showing me (and social media!) the pills she's taking or boasting about all the partying she does (she has an easier life than me in some ways because her boyfriend supports her, haha). I don't know if its a cry for help or just attention seeking. She's either really negative or positive? :s-smilie:

Reply 44

LavenderBlueSky88

Original post by Millieconfused

Classic BPD all round tbh! **

Reply 45

UKCATrocks

Original post by LavenderBlueSky88

Don't forget some people use mental health problems as an excuse to act unreasonably. *

LOL, yes I have the feeling that there is a name of MH for every type of behaviour.

Can't spell? That's because you have ADHH
Rude? Borderline personality disorder

It;'s hard to define MH without having some kind of "norm" you can define it against.

Reply 46

Anonymous #5

I know a lot of people who blame their own actions on mental health disorders and to be frank - it's irritating. Like people saying that because they constantly treat people poorly being due to depression ( a fair few girls in my school ), it's often used as a kind of smokescreen as may be the case with the facebook girl mentioned earlier in this thread. However, not all people with MH disorders are like this. My partner has had clinical depression since a fairly young age due to abuse from his dad. You wouldn't even be able to tell until you saw him take his meds. I too have suffered from bouts as I have recurrent cyclic depression and I do swing from being able to live a normal everyday life to being an emotional wreck. However, I don't let others get involved when I'm in the latter as that would be unfair on them. I have many friends and they all understand my swings and they accept that it does affect my reactions (for those who know) however, you just seem to have met some crappy people. They don't seem to be representative of the entire population ^-^ sorry that you've had a bad experience.

Reply 47

Millieconfused

Original post by LavenderBlueSky88

Classic BPD all round tbh! **

She does say she has BPD as well as OCD and depression to be fair. I just find it hard to deal with, she's actually older than me too (26).

Reply 48

Millieconfused

Original post by Anonymous

Great post, thanks :smile:

Yeah, I know with some people you can't even tell, a few of my friends probably have it and just havent told anyone.

Reply 49

Ladymusiclover

It depends on the mental illness but I have a friend who has learning difficulties and mental health issues. It's very emotionally draining to be around her. :frown:

But at the same time I pity her.

Reply 50

Ribbits

A lot of my friends have issues serious enough to warrant diagnosis/treatment, and I do myself as well - but we don't treat each other badly, drain, manipulate or use each other, as much as we can possibly avoid it. We do give positive pep talks and discuss what's been going on with us sometimes, and they do require more effort and consideration than other friends when going out or meeting because of their sometimes crippling anxiety, but it's not draining or difficult because of the type of bond we have and how much we gain from each other too (by clicking, enjoying the company, understanding each other and being positive/loving in how we interact). If we all cancel or rearrange repeatedly, so be it, we'll still have fun when it happens. Mostly we suffer alone/only at our very closest support (boyfriends or siblings) and keep the worst of it well away from friends. Whereas, I have another friend that also has issues and although I hate to say it is an utter drain on me, if I interact with her..

You have to keep your relationships healthy, whether other people are suffering around you or not - dragging yourself down too doesn't help. Here is a very good article about the different kinds of friendships there are:
http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/12/10-types-odd-friendships-youre-probably-part.html

Everyone has a different personality, different issues, and different ways of connecting to every other individual too - so you just have to find the ones where you both mutually gain from the connection, even if that sometimes means some sacrifice because of their difficulties. It can't all be sacrifice, they have to care about you too. They also have to have some maturity and insight on their own part, you can't give that to them even if you try.