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How much to spend on someone you've dated for four months for bday

When I say we are dating, we are just that. We are exclusive but haven't put the 'relationship' label on it yet.

It's his birthday in a couple of weeks and I don't know the correct etiquette with this sort of thing. I'm used to being very thoughtful with presents but I don't want it to look like I put TOO much thought into it or spent too much because it might just look weird. I mean I don't know if some people would even bother with a present?

My original thought was some of his favourite cologne (small 30ml) and a scented candle (he likes them lol), which would add up to about £35 but I dunno if it's a bit OTT.

Any tips?
What's the going rate for comdoms these days?

Spoiler

Reply 2
Bump
I think that would be okay, you won't have spent a huge amount but it shows you care. If you're exclusive that's a little more than casual dating where you probably wouldn't get a gift.
I think that would be absolutely fine. And you know what? I'd rather someone put too much thought into something than put no thought into it at all. He should appreciate your thoughtfulness, not be put off by it :smile:

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I would pick one or the other. The biggest issue with spending £20+ is if the other person feels it was expensive they may feel pressured to reciprocate on your birthday when they don't have the money / don't want to spend that much.
Reply 6
Original post by monkyvirus
I would pick one or the other. The biggest issue with spending £20+ is if the other person feels it was expensive they may feel pressured to reciprocate on your birthday when they don't have the money / don't want to spend that much.

Yeah it's my birthday like the week after but in all honesty he will most likely forget and I'm just accepting that. Just because he will probably forget doesn't mean I don't wanna get him something :lol: . But I totally know what you're saying.*

Plus we are long distance and it just happens we are together on his bday but not mine so he has an excuse ish :-P

**
Original post by Changing Skies
I think that would be absolutely fine. And you know what? I'd rather someone put too much thought into something than put no thought into it at all. He should appreciate your thoughtfulness, not be put off by it :smile:

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That's my thinking too but men can be weird ;-)*
Original post by doodle_333
I think that would be okay, you won't have spent a huge amount but it shows you care. If you're exclusive that's a little more than casual dating where you probably wouldn't get a gift.


Original post by 34908seikj
What's the going rate for comdoms these days?

Spoiler



Thanks guys.
Reply 7
This doesn't require a thread on TSR.
Reply 8
Original post by Mancini
This doesn't require a thread on TSR.


How does it not? I wanted advice on something related to relationships. As far as I am aware that is what the forums are for - advice and questions.
Reply 9
Original post by Airfairy
How does it not? I wanted advice on something related to relationships. As far as I am aware that is what the forums are for - advice and questions.


In your mind you actually think you must seek out for advice on how much to spend on someone you are seeing /dating ? Hmm.

The fact that you actually have to ask such a thing tells me this person is not very important to you.
Reply 10
Original post by Mancini
In your mind you actually think you must seek out for advice on how much to spend on someone you are seeing /dating ? Hmm.

The fact that you actually have to ask such a thing tells me this person is not very important to you.


quite the opposite. I don't want to spend too much and freak him out if anything.*
Reply 11
Timeline isn't as relevant as how much time you spend together tbh, a 3 month relationship with someone you see everyday is probably much further on than a year relationship with someone you see twice a month...

(not relevant)
YOU haven't put the relationship label on it? Sounds like it's entirely up to you?*

You're not sure he's feeling it or you're not sure you're feeling it? Enlighten me *
Reply 12
Original post by dmz
Timeline isn't as relevant as how much time you spend together tbh, a 3 month relationship with someone you see everyday is probably much further on than a year relationship with someone you see twice a month...

(not relevant)
YOU haven't put the relationship label on it? Sounds like it's entirely up to you?*

You're not sure he's feeling it or you're not sure you're feeling it? Enlighten me *


Not me personally. We talked about it and said we wanted to exclusively date for a while first. I'd be fine with using the 'relationship' term, I think it scares him though. Mind you, the last time we talked about it was a few months ago. May be time to talk about it again.*
Original post by Airfairy
When I say we are dating, we are just that. We are exclusive but haven't put the 'relationship' label on it yet.

It's his birthday in a couple of weeks and I don't know the correct etiquette with this sort of thing. I'm used to being very thoughtful with presents but I don't want it to look like I put TOO much thought into it or spent too much because it might just look weird. I mean I don't know if some people would even bother with a present?

My original thought was some of his favourite cologne (small 30ml) and a scented candle (he likes them lol), which would add up to about £35 but I dunno if it's a bit OTT.

Any tips?


10% of a month wages so for me that's £500 on average
What you've came up with seems fine to me.

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