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Am I overreacting?

Me and this guy have been getting to know each other for a while. We have only kissed as of yet. We are both 19. It's been very flirtatious always. He tells me how hot I am. How nice my body is and how we both have feelings for each other etc etc.

Last night we were talking and we were playing a silly game via text and he was asking me things like would you still have sex with me if I had a little penis and a mangled face etc etc? I said yes, thought it was just a bit of banter.

I then asked him if he would still have sex with me if I had a mangled face and my boobs fell off. His reply was ...... " I don't think I'd have sex with you in general to be honest, you get too attached to people but you're still hot though". I said like what do you mean because I thought he was joking at first. He then explained again, he was being serious.

This really offended me. Like it kind of hurt a bit if I'm honest. When he realised he had upset me he then apologised and said he doesn't know why he said that and started texting me/calling me but I didn't answer and haven't. He's text me today quite a few times too.

I don't understand, why was he so brutally honest with me. I feel like there's being honest but then there's being harshly honest and I feel like that was harsh and now today he's licking my **** and won't leave me alone.

Am I over reacting? I don't know why he'd say that if he didn't mean it. Made me feel not good enough for him and like there's something wrong with me.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and this guy have been getting to know each other for a while. We have only kissed as of yet. We are both 19. It's been very flirtatious always. He tells me how hot I am. How nice my body is and how we both have feelings for each other etc etc.

Last night we were talking and we were playing a silly game via text and he was asking me things like would you still have sex with me if I had a little penis and a mangled face etc etc? I said yes, thought it was just a bit of banter.

I then asked him if he would still have sex with me if I had a mangled face and my boobs fell off. His reply was ...... " I don't think I'd have sex with you in general to be honest, you get too attached to people but you're still hot though". I said like what do you mean because I thought he was joking at first. He then explained again, he was being serious.

This really offended me. Like it kind of hurt a bit if I'm honest. When he realised he had upset me he then apologised and said he doesn't know why he said that and started texting me/calling me but I didn't answer and haven't. He's text me today quite a few times too.

I don't understand, why was he so brutally honest with me. I feel like there's being honest but then there's being harshly honest and I feel like that was harsh and now today he's licking my **** and won't leave me alone.

Am I over reacting? I don't know why he'd say that if he didn't mean it. Made me feel not good enough for him and like there's something wrong with me.


Try to balance the power, never let the power balance slip on their side.. they'll take advantage of it. He did apologise and that means he loves you and cares.
Reply 2
Avatar for Goaded
Goaded
17
I wouldn't give that basic a chance to **** me by cutting him off
He wants to play around with you emotions and feelings it's quite common actually
Reply 4
Avatar for SMEGGGY
SMEGGGY
21
What made him say that? Is that what you do?

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Original post by Anonymous
Me and this guy have been getting to know each other for a while. We have only kissed as of yet. We are both 19. It's been very flirtatious always. He tells me how hot I am. How nice my body is and how we both have feelings for each other etc etc.

Last night we were talking and we were playing a silly game via text and he was asking me things like would you still have sex with me if I had a little penis and a mangled face etc etc? I said yes, thought it was just a bit of banter.

I then asked him if he would still have sex with me if I had a mangled face and my boobs fell off. His reply was ...... " I don't think I'd have sex with you in general to be honest, you get too attached to people but you're still hot though". I said like what do you mean because I thought he was joking at first. He then explained again, he was being serious.

This really offended me. Like it kind of hurt a bit if I'm honest. When he realised he had upset me he then apologised and said he doesn't know why he said that and started texting me/calling me but I didn't answer and haven't. He's text me today quite a few times too.

I don't understand, why was he so brutally honest with me. I feel like there's being honest but then there's being harshly honest and I feel like that was harsh and now today he's licking my **** and won't leave me alone.

Am I over reacting? I don't know why he'd say that if he didn't mean it. Made me feel not good enough for him and like there's something wrong with me.



Yes and No is my answer because you are definitely over reacting but at the same time you still have the right to feel hurt but ignoring him and not telling him this is harsh too.
You need to explain even if it's just by text that he made you feel not good enough for him and like there's something wrong with you. Send him that exact text because it is insulting that he is happy to flirt with you but then texts he would not have sex with you because you will get attached. After you explained all that by text then if you still feel hurt then just cut him off and find a real man that has some real balls and is not a scaredy cat
Don't be offended by what he text and forgive him because he did not text anything bad and ignoring his calls, texts is way meaner than what he did to you
He did not mean it to be nasty he just thought you could take honesty but clearly you can't. Would you prefer it if he kept it to himself longer then told you months or years later? It's better that it comes out now so you can process it and try to deal with it
He believes what he text is true and not meant to be mean.
If it is true maybe you can work on not getting attached to people because this could scare other men off and clearly other people believe the same about you or he would not have text that but if you know it's definetly not true then you need to put him in his place

We all say or text stupid things or make mistakes but it's not a true friendship if he can't be honest with you and you can't forgive him
You have to remember men always say stupid, hurtful, mean, harsh things because their complete idiots sometimes so you need to reply to his texts and explain that you were hurt because blanking him or cutting him off without trying to resolve it is more cruel than what he did.
He text you that because although he really fancies you he is also scared to persue it further because he thinks you get too attached then he worries you will turn into a bunny boiler like the lady in that film Fatal Attraction. Watch that film on the internet to understand why he got scared and text you that.

I met a guy years ago who asked me out one night then after texting each other all night and not even been on one date yet he dumped me the next day because he thought from the simple texts i sent that i would become too attached. I was so dissapointed because i definitely would not get attached. He is an ass for not taking a chance but i still see him but only when we bump into each other on the street where we both live or if he loses his keys or is depressd and needs someone to talk to but other than that he is too scared to even be my friend because he thinks i will get attached. But just to put him in his place i did text him that he may be very good looking but he's not the perfect catch because he is not rich and does not have a car or a house. so i guess that probably really hurt him but it serves him right for thinking he was too good for me when it's actually the other way around. We argued by text then eventually made up a couple of weeks later.
That's how stupid some men are. It's actually very insulting to give any woman that label because they are clearly up their own ass and think their so wonderful but i would never ignore his calls, texts even though he only visits me twice a year when he has lost his keys or depressed.
I considered not letting him in when he rings my bell because it's only ever after
12 midnight, 1, 2, or 3am but i could never be so cruel. He only lives a few doors away from me.
So i understand you were offended but it's not a big enough deal to ignore him.
I also had a friend i knew for years and when i told her the truth about something by text she dumped me and will never speak to me again even though i apologised straight away by text but i don't care because anyone that unforgiving is not worth my time so don't do what my idiot friend did to me just because i made a simple mistake by being honest with her about something.
He apologised so just accept the apology and don't let it ruin your sexting
Original post by ckfeister
Try to balance the power, never let the power balance slip on their side.. they'll take advantage of it. He did apologise and that means he loves you and cares.


Can't agree more with this. You need to let him know that he shouldn't do that in the future. You're the one who can see if he's done something to hurt you. Nobody else decides what does and doesn't hurt individuals. If he really cares, he'll take it on board and avoid doing that in the future. If you don't speak out, he'll just gain the upper hand and it is very, very difficult to redress that power balance once it is established.
Original post by Anonymous
Me and this guy have been getting to know each other for a while. We have only kissed as of yet. We are both 19. It's been very flirtatious always. He tells me how hot I am. How nice my body is and how we both have feelings for each other etc etc.

Last night we were talking and we were playing a silly game via text and he was asking me things like would you still have sex with me if I had a little penis and a mangled face etc etc? I said yes, thought it was just a bit of banter.

I then asked him if he would still have sex with me if I had a mangled face and my boobs fell off. His reply was ...... " I don't think I'd have sex with you in general to be honest, you get too attached to people but you're still hot though". I said like what do you mean because I thought he was joking at first. He then explained again, he was being serious.

This really offended me. Like it kind of hurt a bit if I'm honest. When he realised he had upset me he then apologised and said he doesn't know why he said that and started texting me/calling me but I didn't answer and haven't. He's text me today quite a few times too.

I don't understand, why was he so brutally honest with me. I feel like there's being honest but then there's being harshly honest and I feel like that was harsh and now today he's licking my **** and won't leave me alone.

Am I over reacting? I don't know why he'd say that if he didn't mean it. Made me feel not good enough for him and like there's something wrong with me.


Of course you're not over reacting, because you have every right to feel any emotion that you feel. That isn't for any one to judge.

Lets face it, he was being honest. He's clearly trying to back track on his comment but you need to be wise here. His comment is a reflection of the fact that his desires appear to be purely sexual and he isn't interested in anything more- whereas he has observed (rightly or wrongly) that you would want more and you would get attached. It just boils down to perceived differences in what you both may want from each other.

People can be brutal and blunt- it can come across as a bit sharp and unfriendly, but unfortunately we can't change the way people are. Just use this as a way to realise that it seems that he just wants something physical, or a bit of eye candy.
Tell him to go **** himself.
Tbh, there is no reading into it, I honestly get he feeling that he is telling the truth. I wouldn't personally say something like that If I didn't mean it. He is probably establishing boundaries whilst wanting to have a fun conversation with you. Just my opinion though, he sounded genuine

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