Hi Thank You all so much with your replies and advice.
I have tried to let him know how I feel. I don't feel like he appreciates me or my efforts.
Last Wednesday when I asked him when can I see you again, he snapped at me ranting at me on the phone for 10 minutes telling me how selfish I'm and inconsiderate I'm, and how I didn't even ask him his going to cope during his 12 hour shift the next day, He didn't give me a chance to say anything before he began to attack me. He went on and on saying really hurtful things to me and worst he knew it was upsetting me as I was silent on the phone and by the tone of my voice, he even said I know your getting upset sorry if I'm upsetting you but I'm just being blunt" and carried.
Than he was like " when you tried to kill yourself and was depressed I was there for you I didn't blame you I asked you how you were. Like what the hell??? What has that got to do with this crab? That was a really cruel and disgusting comparrisoment to make and he and promised me he would no longer use my past again me like that. Also it's not true, yes I tried to commit suicide 3 years back but that was because I was raped and he know this so it was really out of order for him to bring that up like that.
I was so hurt and angry by what he said mostly because what he said wasn't true, and secondly I'm trying so hard to show him I care and he acts like I don't. As hurt and angry I was by what he said I tried to be some what understanding, I'm sure he didn't meant what he said, his probably exhausted from work, he has a lot of responsibility yes I know it's no excuse or justification for how he spoke to me but he will apologies in the morning. So I thought, I messaged him on Thursday morning, wishing him a good day at work. He replied and said thank you, hope your okay but didn't apology for what he said.
So I waited till he got home and messaged him round 11pm he finished work at 8 I wanted to give him some time to rest first.
So I brought this up to him in a respectful manner I wasn't trying to start a fight or argue with him I just wanted to convey to him how hurt I was by what he said and how I don't feel like he appreciates my efforts.
He apologised for what he said but was like I don't want to talk about it lets move on. No I wanted to talk about it, it's okay for him to express his anger and furtrations at me and I have to take it, it's okay for him to call me selfish, inconsiderate, tell me he doesn't need people like me in his life and pause things for 2 years without me being able to question any of it but I can't express my feelings without him pushing it to the side like it don't matter.
Yeah I wasn't going to hear that or accept that no way, but he was like I'm fed up of this your putting me off and good night and we will talk next week.
So that was that, on Friday I had a really terrible day I suffer from bad anxiety due to my attack and I bumped into my attacker or someone who looked very much like him and I had a bad anxiety attack I couldn't breath properly I felt like I was having a mini stroke or something I ended up in the hospital. And honestly apart from my family he was the only other person I wanted to see and talk to.
I text him many times, first asking him how work went and that I really needed to talk to him I had a terrible day and could really use his support right now as my friend.
But he didn't reply, i was than getting worried and thought is something wrong because he normally replies to my text within minutes. I was really getting worried about him even though I was in a hospital.
He didn't reply to any of my texts on Friday,
I was released from the hospital on Saturday morning, all I could think about was him I was so worried about him, I thought something bad had happened to him.
So I messaged him again on Saturday evening from work and he replied this time and was like I'm fine I told you I'll talk to you next weekend.
I've not heard from him since.
At this point I'm so tired of this.
I'm a firm believer of fate and if we're meant to be than we will be but it's clearly not working right now.
His so immature and has no idea what goes into making a relationship work.
I'm no longer wishing to persue a romantic relationship with him but maybe somewhere there's still hope) currently I'm questionaning even being friends with him.
This is really sad because I really thought we had a chance of something serious I really saw a future here. I'm the type of girl who only gets into a relationship if I can see a serious future with the person.
I'll do anything to make this work but it's not worth it anymore.
He was the one that wanted serious commitment, he was the one who said he saw us going somewhere but he has already given up, what was he expecting?
What do some of you guys honestly what ? If you have a girl who isn't supportive, encouraging or caring you complain but when you do get someone that is its still not enough. What is a girl to do?
I'm just going to focus on my career and happiness for right now.
Anyway thank you all for your supports