The Student Room Group

My dad is useless

I know I could have worse.
But I hate it.
He used to physically abuse me as a child.
Now he constantly verbally abuses me.
Im useless to him, I dont do anything useful according to him.
He has big debts and blames me for them.
He constantly complains about all the work he has and when I complain he says to shut up and put up with it.
Because he has so many jobs my student finance barely covers my accomodation. He told me to take over all his cleaning jobs if I want money for food (no time for studying or socialising).
Because Im doing a media course I want to buy a laptop that can handle editing. He said he would help.
The card declines it at the store and he yells at the clerk then at me and acts violent.
I walk home (2/3 hours walk) and lose my watch because I was too upset and wasnt paying attention. The watch is very special to me.
My mother does nothing but watch.
I went looking for the watch and nothing. He says Im on my own now for the laptop thats impossible. He just smirks when Im angry at him.
I hate him so much.
He is the reason why I nearly killed myself multiple times.
Why I have anxiety or depression.
But all he does is poker or horse race betting.
I hate my dad so much.
What do I do?
Get a job, save money if you cna, survive.
Do well in exams #1 priority, hang around with friends, graduate and find a good job which offers independence.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
I know I could have worse.
But I hate it.
He used to physically abuse me as a child.
Now he constantly verbally abuses me.
Im useless to him, I dont do anything useful according to him.
He has big debts and blames me for them.
He constantly complains about all the work he has and when I complain he says to shut up and put up with it.
Because he has so many jobs my student finance barely covers my accomodation. He told me to take over all his cleaning jobs if I want money for food (no time for studying or socialising).
Because Im doing a media course I want to buy a laptop that can handle editing. He said he would help.
The card declines it at the store and he yells at the clerk then at me and acts violent.
I walk home (2/3 hours walk) and lose my watch because I was too upset and wasnt paying attention. The watch is very special to me.
My mother does nothing but watch.
I went looking for the watch and nothing. He says Im on my own now for the laptop thats impossible. He just smirks when Im angry at him.
I hate him so much.
He is the reason why I nearly killed myself multiple times.
Why I have anxiety or depression.
But all he does is poker or horse race betting.
I hate my dad so much.
What do I do?


Sounds like you're a student already so the answer is obvious - move out.
edit: you've mentioned 'barely covers accommodation' so you don't actually live with him? What's the problem then?*
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 3
Im leaving in a month. Student finance said Ill get 5900 to cover costs. The accomodation Im going to is 5940 and thats not including the pre payment. I cant go to a cheaper accomodation cause I live too close to the university therefore they can only tell me if they have spaces in september.
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
Im leaving in a month. Student finance said Ill get 5900 to cover costs. The accomodation Im going to is 5940 and thats not including the pre payment. I cant go to a cheaper accomodation cause I live too close to the university therefore they can only tell me if they have spaces in september.


Get a part time job then, or a partner willing to support you financially.
you need ti get out the mindset of killing yourself, nothing good will come from that
Reply 6
Find a job, then all your problems will go away, visit a counsellor if you've got marital problems, hope it gets better soon for u
Original post by niceguy95
you need ti get out the mindset of killing yourself, nothing good will come from that


well said my friend.
Original post by Anonymous
Im leaving in a month. Student finance said Ill get 5900 to cover costs. The accomodation Im going to is 5940 and thats not including the pre payment. I cant go to a cheaper accomodation cause I live too close to the university therefore they can only tell me if they have spaces in september.


You can.

Start looking for spare rooms in student house shares they're usually miles cheaper. Yes you won't get the "accommodation" experience. But you can still make friends with your housemates, get your independence away from your dad and save a **** tonne of money.
Reply 9
I dont have the courage to do house shares. As I said, I have anxiety. Id rather go to an accomodation for the first year where I know Im safe and meet some people I can share with in my second year. If I cant even trust my parents, how can I trust people Ive never met?
Ive tried getting a job, I gave my CV everywhere that said they needed workers but they always question if Im old enough cause Im short (5 ft 0) and by my face I look like a 13 year old. Im still going to try but does anyone have any tips for this?
Also thank you all for the advice so far.
Original post by Anonymous
I dont have the courage to do house shares. As I said, I have anxiety. Id rather go to an accomodation for the first year where I know Im safe and meet some people I can share with in my second year. If I cant even trust my parents, how can I trust people Ive never met?
Ive tried getting a job, I gave my CV everywhere that said they needed workers but they always question if Im old enough cause Im short (5 ft 0) and by my face I look like a 13 year old. Im still going to try but does anyone have any tips for this?


This doesn't logically make much sense.

Why are house shares not safe?

Why can't you meet people in a house share to go into second year housing with? You will also meet people through your course, and at societies if you join those too.

There is always a chance you won't get along with the people you live with, be it in house shares or accommodation. That is a risk you take when you move in with people you don't know. But you're in basically the same situation in both house share and accommodation, you don't know anyone.


You can either complain about your situation or do something about it. And as someone with anxiety as well, let me just say you're not helping yourself in the long term by closing yourself off to possibilities.
In halls there is security and over a hundred students. If I dont meet any friends in my specific flat, I have a higher chance of finding friends in other flats or the halls I was put on a waiting list for which are down the road. The area is safe as its a public area. The house share areas are in the completely opposite direction, very close to an area notoriously known for having drug addicts etc. If I were in a house share Id be forced to be with people that could potentially dislike me or see me as different for not being the very social or clubbing type. Id rather work for loads of areas and be somewhere I feel safe than save some money and potentially stuck with strangers who are older and probably have completely different interests. I understand where you are coming from but a lot of my anxiety has come from the emotional abuse and bullying Ive recieved from being an introvert and prefering to stay at home all day. The people who come to this uni know that its very social. Im only staying in this area because Im scared my mom will get abused and that it has one of the best media courses in the country. I know its bad for me to group everyone into one category but the chances of being with people who will not respect my mental health issues is too high. Im planning to get help on this but after I move out because my parents believe that I am "too young" to be depressed etc
Ignore him until you graduate. Before then try and get a part time job which will help with uní costs. After graduation, work full time look for your own place, you don't need someone like him in your life if you want to make a good life for yourself.

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Reply 14
LEAVE!

disown someone like this. you don't need it in your life. he is not a 'dad'.

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