Guys; Have you ever started dating a girl you liked then just gone off her?

Or just realised that it simply isn't going to work long term?

This seems to happen with me every time I start seeing a guy. Super keen to start with, like I have no issues attracting men in the first place and maintaining them for a while, then somewhere down the line they say they've 'realised this won't work long term' etc etc it makes me feel so unlovable.

I make an effort with my appearance all the time, and although I'm not saying I'm super hot or anything, I don't think the issue is looks or they wouldn't have pursued me in the first place, right? :s

All the guys I have gone out with have said they've enjoyed dating me because I'm 'not boring' and I'm 'fun to be around' , which implies the issue isn't personality either!

I'm also evidently reasonably intelligent and hardworking, since I'm doing a law degree at a good university and have a decent job on the side.

I also have tons of friends and a life of my own.

I'm so confused and literally beat myself up about it every day. I'm too scared to start dating again as I can't take this anymore !

My last breakup was extremely painful as he had reassured me sooooooo many times that he was serious about us etc etc and then suddenly dumped me 😭 it's really stopped me from trusting guys.

Reply 1

Double Agent

I think your last sentence probably says it all. Guys obviously want to date you because you are successful and fun, perhaps when you start seeing them the insecurities and lack of trust creeps through as neediness?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Double Agent

That's actually a very helpful answer and probably true :s

Reply 3

user382

Acquire
Enjoy
Dispose of

:wink:

Reply 4

username2379043

I suspect it's something else, blame me if I'm wrong but. They say your fun right? Are you fun sexually, they may feel like they are not getting anywhere and then back out of the relationship.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Jazzy97

I suspect it's something else, blame me if I'm wrong but. They say your fun right? Are you fun sexually, they may feel like they are not getting anywhere and then back out of the relationship.

You mean you think it's because I'm not 'fun' sexually?

Reply 6

username2379043

Original post by Anonymous

You mean you think it's because I'm not 'fun' sexually?

Ahh see I was trying to avoid saying that because that isn't what I meant. It's more that they may want to advance further with you on the sexual side. Like get sexual quicker.

You could be wild in bed, I doubt it's performance related :tongue:

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Jazzy97

I usually have sex on the third date :s

Reply 8

username2379043

Original post by Anonymous

I usually have sex on the third date :s

Alright amazing, it's nice that you aren't ashamed of embracing your sexual side.

Gosh, now you've got me in puzzle mode, I'm not going to be happy till I crack this!

It might be the fact that you have already set yourself up in life, decent job, great qualifications and lots of friends to keep you busy. A lot of guys (not all, don't bash) are afraid of a girl that has their life on lock, to a point where they can drop them in a heartbeat.

Honestly, the best advice I can give you is to not change a thing, go out there and carry on finding the guy that you want. You sound amazing btw, would love to meet more girls like you :wink:

Reply 9

Esoteric-

Original post by Double Agent

Lol just chiming in to say no guys wants to date her because she is successful.

Trust me no guys is going to be attracted to her because of her law degree and good job lol.

Always makes me lol when women think career success will make them more attractive to men. Lol not really.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 10

Moonstruck16

Original post by Esoteric-

Posted from TSR Mobile

Look at this guy's other posts in other threads. He's the kind of person who would fit in more with, say, the Saudia Arabian way of treating women.

Reply 11

username2379043

Original post by Esoteric-

Err speak for yourself.
I disagree totally, I think ambition is sexy. I love a girl that aims just as high as I do and would make the most of her time being productive.