The Student Room Group

Dealing with Ex Nostalgia

So about a month ago now I broke up with my (ex) girlfriend as she had to move out of my town and would end up about 3hours away. This combined with the fact that our long term life goals didn't really align (she wanted to move to London in a few years; didn't want kids - I don't want to go near London ever and do want kids, among other things) meant that we decided it would be better to just end things on a good note.

We didn't have a single heated argument just lots of good conversation and intelligent debate. Our senses f humour were totally different. Our recreational habits were pretty damn different too. And neither of us were really romantically infatuated with one another. Yet despite that we evidently appreciated each other's comfort quite a lot as the charade lasted a good 9months during which we never really had any issues with our relationship.

The end to it was just so abrupt. I knew she had to move away, but neither of us wanted to confront the other with the conversation of "how will we work this out?". In fact we only had that conversation on the very last night that I was staying with her. The next morning I'm kissing her goodbye and never going to see her again. That hit hard.

She was the first girl I kissed and the first girl I had sex with and really she had no objectively negative traits unlike me... I was crying for about 2hours on the final morning before I had to say goodbye to her. And hours before in the night before I managed to finally get to sleep. And a couple more hours when I got home and nobody was in. She didn't even cry once. She barely even seemed fazed. She said that she had always tried to not emotionally attach herself as she never intended to have a relationship while at uni and that she knew whatever it was that we were doing would end when she had to move away.

I dunno... Obviously I can't get back with her and I don't really want to, but I can't help but think back and it was just so lovely spending time with her that it makes me really nostalgic. I think the worst thing about it is that I don't really have any friends and she was my only friend for these months, but I knew that when I visited hers I could be 100% myself, as weird and wonderful as that is and she wouldn't judge me negatively for it. I can't do that with anyone anymore.

I miss the cuddling sessions :frown:

And I miss the sex :frown:

I miss my friend :frown:
Enjoy depression, your new friend
Reply 2
Original post by JabaDaba12
Enjoy depression, your new friend


I already suffer from depression lmao.

REBOUND HERE I COME!
Original post by TorpidPhil
I already suffer from depression lmao.

REBOUND HERE I COME!


Lmao as if, at least it ended on ok terms
Original post by TorpidPhil
I already suffer from depression lmao.

REBOUND HERE I COME!


dont want to give boring generic advice that everyone says, but honestly its about time.also, if you suffer from mental health and fight that already, youre more than able to cope with this :smile: time my good friend.
Reply 5
Original post by welcometoib
dont want to give boring generic advice that everyone says, but honestly its about time.also, if you suffer from mental health and fight that already, youre more than able to cope with this :smile: time my good friend.


Thank you.

Obviously I didn't post this with the intention of reading something that someone said and suddenly all negative thoughts go away and I feel perfect and can go to bed... No... I just wanted to share the story behind how I am feeling atm and why because it leads to these sorts of messages that do help in their own little way.

So thank 'ya!
Original post by TorpidPhil
I miss the cuddling sessions :frown:

And I miss the sex :frown:

I miss my friend :frown:


I know the feeling mate.

Best thing to do is take time off and heal. Focus on yourself, and remove any reminders of her. It hurts like a *****, but you grow stronger day by day. The nostalgia will always be there, but you begin to think of it less and eventually you can go on living a normal life.

Hang in there!
Original post by TorpidPhil
I already suffer from depression lmao.

REBOUND HERE I COME!


Yes n sometimes rebounds turn out to be even better.
Reply 8
Original post by xobeauty
Yes n sometimes rebounds turn out to be even better.






Keeping myself busy is key nd I find that applies to the depwession too. If you constantly are doing things to make you as an individual better or to make your life better I find it very hard to dwell on my own personal failings - I simply end up lacking the time to do so! So I went along and got through some administrative emails then and had a workout. Kept my mind off of it and now I feel normal again. Dwelling on things is the route to sorrow.

Got a date with a girl I've been speaking to online for 2weeks, scheduled for Thursday. Gotta move on. Gotta keep my head ground level.

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