Should guys pay for girls on dates?

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i do offer to split the bill on dates. However several times I have been assured I do not need to pay. What would I do in that situation then? Am I still a hypocrite?

My apologies, I'm not saying that you are a hypocrite. I don't know enough about you to say that!

I was just mostly venting about the scenario because it disadvantages men 90% of the time.

I think the fairest solution so that the male can come out of that least disadvantaged is for the woman to offer to pay 50% and if upon offering the male refuses to allow you to do so allow him to pay it, but try to not judge him any better for doing so. That's hard. Because altruism is a positive trait. We all want a friend or partner or family member to be kind to us! However, one must remember that someone paying 100% of the cost of a date on your behalf DOES NOT mean they are altruistic. Often they merely are doing it because they are socially conservative and thus have a strange set of moral values and so feel it is immoral to do whatever is not tradition. OR they are doing it because they know it will make you view them better (which might be fine if like me they are doing it because they sincerely want the relationship to go well; it's less fine if they are doing it to big you up and get in your pants). Or they could be doing it because they're genuinely just altruistic (which makes sense especially if they are wealthier than you). But you can't tell whether that's true or not from a first date...

So the safest bet is to just try and avoid judging a man in anyway at all for him deciding to pay for you or not.

Reply 21

username2379043

Oh lol I didn't even realise that, it is a bit excessive :tongue:

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Reply 22

Nim_123

I think an offer is nice, but I don't think I'd let the guy pay for me, I think going half on a first date is good. If the guy pays I'll feel inclined to go on another date even if I don't want to, so I kinda would feel like I owe him.

Reply 23

StudiousRoadman

Whoever earns more should pay. But otherwise split halfway

Reply 24

Judge Judy

Original post by Dragonfly07

So I was having this debate with a friend of mine. I'm a bit undecided, but he thinks that guys should always pay for girls on the first date.

I'm going to attach a poll to this thread to get your opinions and settle the argument!

Be as honest as possible!!

- Dragonfly07

A real gentleman always offers to pay
The man should always pay or offer to if the woman does not earn much or is unemployed but if she's loaded then maybe she will offer to pay all or half
But i don't like men who ask a woman to pay half it shows their tight

Reply 25

MonsoonFlower

Original post by Dragonfly07

Personally if I agreed to date a guy at least I should offer to pay my half, after all it is only fair. Plus I don't want to be judged as a gold digger, like I'm in it for the free food.
However I have been very lucky as although I offered to pay my half, the guy always insists in paying the full price.

I read somewhere that a guy bought his date a cup of coffee, but when he decided he didn't like her romantically, he actually texted her and begged for his money back as he felt he had wasted his money.

Reply 26

undercxver

Where's the option for "No, only females should pay"? :hmmmm:

Reply 27

Wisbey

Hmmm, I think they should at-least offer. It would just feel weird and uncomfortable, for me personally, to have them pay for their own meal if I haven't offered.

Reply 28

Cap.Henry Avery

Well that's usually how it works, it's a bit old fashioned in today's modern age. After all feminists always saying, "men and women are equal". And if she is the rich one, hell why can't she pay for it?

Reply 29

IYGB

I am not prepared to pay so I get no dates

Reply 30

Trapz99

I would probably offer to pay. Unless she wants to split it.

Reply 31

username155270

I always preach that guys should alway pay for at least the first date....like hardcore believed that guys should take care of the girl..

I went on a date and paid for HIM, I figured since he came to my town I'd treat him....side eye.

Reply 32

Hep Guardiola

Probably on the first date, but after that girls should at least offer to pay for themselves.

Reply 33

sugarflower

I never ever pay when I'm on a date. I don't even attempt to. As horrible or unprogressive as this may sound to some people, it's just one of those things a man should deal with.

What happened to good old-fashioned chivalry?

Reply 34

Alfissti

It largely depends on who asked who out.

If a lady asked me out, I'd be expecting that she would be at bare minimum paying for her share. I may pay for her if I liked her enough.

If I asked the lady out then I'd be paying for both of us.

Happy to go 50/50.

Original post by sugarflower

Do you pull your weight?

Reply 37

Zarek

Splitting the cost is not what relationship building is about. People like to give gifts and be generous. Drink round buying is the same principle. I am fine with the person doing the asking out paying on the first date and thereafter approximately taking turns. I think relative incomes and what any couple want to do can also figure in the equation.

Reply 38

tomofphysics

keep it traditional, maybe first few dates are not spending money (beach, park, hikes) but personally id pay.

I'm going to attach a poll to this thread to get your opinions and settle the argument!

Be as honest as possible!!

- Dragonfly07

Reply 39

Atlas Thugged

Original post by Supersaps

Minefield.

Modern society has turned simple things into ****ing minefields.

If you don't pay, you're ungracious and selfish. If you do pay, you're a chauvinistic pig. (If its a first date, you'll have no idea which view your date holds, so it's inevitable you'll step on the AP mine and get blown to smithereens.)

Basically, it's a ****ing minefield and you know the best thing to do with minefields? Mark & avoid.

Better to just eat popcorn, netflix and chill.

SS

I agree with this. I think the less time I spend thinking about other people's opinions and how much they will be offended the better.