is it shallow to reject someone on looks

To be open minded, accepting of people and give it a go! Honestly, from my experience I would say if you don't give people a chance you really do miss out. I went out with a girl with acne and she was bullied in secondary school and had really low self esteem. When I asked her out and she was very shy and quiet but after being together, she started to open up and she had the nicest singing voice i've ever heard. So little by little we started to working together and building confidence, and I fell harder and harder for her as she started to develop and lose her insecurities. It took a while but we got there and now she's running the gifted and talented music society. She regularly takes part in open mic nights etc. People need to be open. I got a lot of stick from people at uni when I was with her, but I didn't care because I know what I'm doing. Vile comments etc. Its not her fault that she looked the way she did. Same applies to this situation. OP give it a go! You don't know yet! You haven't even gone on a date!

My stomach actually churns reading this, not because someone had acne, people are human and have imperfections, but it makes me sad that you seem to seek out people with issues and try to fix them, Everyone has some sort of problem, but you should still see them as the best person in the world for you rather than your personal project to fix up.

Your stomach churns because I'm not shallow and give girls who are overlooked chances? Okay then. Might as well send me to the gallows ...
I don't "seek out people with issues" nor do I try to "fix them". It just so happens when you're with someone, they become happier and things happen where one person betters another. Her self esteem and depression got better because she felt like someone loved her and wasn't judging her. I actively encouraged her to sing and come out with me with friends etc. Is that a crime? She just changed as her confidence grew. It wasn't a pity date, I wanted to give her a chance and get to know her and I could over look her physical imperfections and quiet nature and see what a kind, soft, caring and genuine person she was. I wasn't sexually attracted to her at first site but 3 dates in I couldn't control myself. We were laughing, having fun and getting on. Some people don't always make the best first impression of themselves. So sometimes they need a chance to really show you who they are and what they're made of.

I could never imagine talking about a girl in that way.

Lol what?? But you could easily reject someone by how they looked, their weight, income and so forth? Okay then. Good logic mate. Im definitely the bad guy here....I made an honest post to share my experience that's all. There's nothing offensive about sharing details. Its important that OP knows.

I'd like to know what TSRians think shallow is. To my understanding, what the OP describes is the very definition of being shallow. You like a person but you don't like how they look so you reject them.

Instead of people redefining words why don't you just say "yes, it's shallow but that's how attraction works therefore it's not a bad thing"

But wouldn't you say with certain aspects of looks, such as weight, it is a matter of self respect, which plays into personality. If you are not a healthy weight due to inactivity and excessive eating you aren't taking care of your own self, how can you be in a relationship with someone who does not respect themselves?

But wouldn't you say with certain aspects of looks, such as weight, it is a matter of self respect, which plays into personality. If you are not a healthy weight due to inactivity and excessive eating you aren't taking care of your own self, how can you be in a relationship with someone who does not respect themselves?

How do you know he isn't depressed? Or has other problems in his life? How do you know that he doesn't get rejected by girls like you over and over again and he give s up, gets depressed and starts emotional eating? Its not a matter of respect. Some peoples lives aren't puppies and kittens. If he gets a chance, I'm sure he'll change and he'll have something to work for. Like I said earlier though, he can do better. Just don't hurt him and move on..im sure you'll find someone just a shallow as you at some point.

so if someone you knew really well and liked spending time with asked you out, and you said no, because you are not physically attracted to them, you aren't shallow right? isn't that the defining difference between a friend and a potential lover? it doesn't make you a bad person does it?