Are older men really this difficult?

Ive been flirting with a man who is decade plus older than me. He actually came at me 1st. I was never interested in him due to his bully ways & cocky attitude but he grew on me. He is very sexy & his appeal screams I'm a man. We discussed having sex. Came up with a date & everything but 3 times now he's bailed on me. Why is he teasing me? Does he really want to have sex or is he just gettung some kind of thrill off of me encouraging him to follow up? Its really annoying. He attempts to kiss me but wont, watches me at work & makes plans with me to get physical but nothing. Why is he being difficult?

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Reply 1

sugarflower

Older men aren't like this, well not the ones I've encountered.

My guess is he's getting a thrill out of it, having a younger girl pine over him. I think you should stop talking or messaging him for a day or two and get his reaction, he'll probably start flooding you with messages when he's being ignored.

Reply 2

bethwalker85

How old is he? You say older man but you could be 18 and he could be like 25. In my experience men don't really grow up until they're like 35.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by bethwalker85

How old is he? You say older man but you could be 18 and he could be like 25. In my experience men don't really grow up until they're like 35.

I'm 37 he's 49

Reply 4

kodiaksroar

I can only offer my view as a 32 year old guy but hope it helps. I am back in college and have been on a few dates with girls younger than me. I set the date and venue and so would never cancel unless something major came up. I would find it creepy and needy/desperate to discuss sex unless it came up during conversation naturally. I hate any kind of mind games and people who mess me about I have a three strike rule, I know things come up so three seems fair. I don't lead girls on for thrills, if I like them I ask them out, if there not interested then we stay friends(hopefully). A lot of guys are hopeless at reading signs of attraction, for example is she twirling her hair because she is A:nervous, B:bored or C: flirting, it can be a little confusing. So maybe he goes for the kiss but bottles because he is unsure, maybe his confidence is fake it to you make or maybe he is just a teaser looking to get a thrill out of the attention. My advice is just move on, it seems he wants the thrill of being pursued( which is nice to be desired) without actually acting like a man and taking direct action by setting a date.

Reply 5

Tootles

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 37 he's 49

At those ages he's hardly an "older man."

At any rate, you're old enough to know better than be treated like this.

hes married.

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 37 he's 49

Christ, why are you asking for advice on this forum then?*

Reply 8

username47781

Original post by Anonymous

Sounds like he is playing games with you, I wouldn't bother if he has bailed on you three times.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Reue

Christ, why are you asking for advice on this forum then?*

For the same reason u chose to respond. To get a reply. If u can't or dont wish to answer it, then scroll by.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Maker

hes married.

Yup and so am i. We're not happy, just in it for the kids. People are quick to judge but i see married couples cheat all the time, not to say lts right but why is it when u go to a forum about stuff like this everybody is so appalled yet it happens all the time? Everybody is a saint all of a sudden.

Reply 11

sugarflower

Original post by Anonymous

I don't mean for this to sound rude at all, but I think with this situation Mumsnet or POF could help you more than TSR can.

Reply 12

Hamo2509

Original post by Anonymous

Not judging because I've been with many a married man.
It's obvious he is bored with his marriage and enjoys the thrill of thinking about cheating but with no intention to actually do it. I'd **** him off, do you not value your own time?

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

Of course he bailed on you. If he's married and has children then he wouldn't risk doing stuff with you like what if his children find out?
You're both acting like teenagers. You either get together or you don't. No matter how unhappy both of you are, cheating is wrong.

Reply 14

Reue

Original post by Anonymous

For the same reason u chose to respond. To get a reply. If u can't or dont wish to answer it, then scroll by.

The point was that there won't be many people here who can offer applicable advise based upon previous experience.

Reply 15

Reue

Original post by Anonymous

when u go to a forum about stuff like this everybody is so appalled yet it happens all the time? Everybody is a saint all of a sudden.

Because the over-whelming majority of users here have never been married.. let alone actually cheated on a marriage. What did you expect?

Reply 16

username2379043

Original post by Reue

The point was that there won't be many people here who can offer applicable advise based upon previous experience.

Also the fact that it is the 'student' room :rolleyes:

Honestly no tho, It's ovi about the thrill.
His approach would usually be tempered and collected if he we're the average man of that age. My guess is that he's a very good seducer tbh

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