The Student Room Group

a question for the men

imagine this scenerio:

you have a gf and family your supposedly happy with,everythings going smoothly.

your talking on fb to a female friend from school (9 years since leaving school so quite a long friendship), however your gf does NOT know that your talking to this girl.

every message you send to her and all bar one she sends to you, you delete bar the one that says "not talking to me now xxx".

what would the reason be for deleting these messages.

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Reply 1
Let me guess, you're the gf? :lol:

This sounds suspicious. Assume the worse.
Reply 2
Original post by eden3
Let me guess, you're the gf? :lol:

This sounds suspicious. Assume the worse.


when questioned about it he swears it was so i 'didnt worry' however i did not know about it and he knows i didnt know about him talking to her either
I was probably flirting with her.
Reply 4
Original post by XOR_
I was probably flirting with her.


she was questioned about it as well and she swears nothing was said in a way that would be disrespectful of the relationship :/
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
when questioned about it he swears it was so i 'didnt worry' however i did not know about it and he knows i didnt know about him talking to her either


I don't want to say he could be cheating.... but there's a likely chance he's seeing someone else behind your back. Obviously, you can't be certain (yet).. but yeah.... I wouldn't be surprised at all if he's cheating on you.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
she was questioned about it as well and she swears nothing was said in a way that would be disrespectful of the relationship :/


I wouldn't take her word for it.
Reply 7
Original post by eden3
I don't want to say he could be cheating.... but there's a likely chance he's seeing someone else behind your back. Obviously, you can't be certain (yet).. but yeah.... I wouldn't be surprised at all if he's cheating on you.


see this is whats worrying me however he lives a few hours away from where she lives (and a few hours from me as well) but whenever he isnt working, i see him so how could he be cheating?

Original post by eden3
I wouldn't take her word for it.


im not
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
see this is whats worrying me however he lives a few hours away from where she lives (and a few hours from me as well) but whenever he isnt working, i see him so how could he be cheating?

Perhaps they're planning on meeting up? :s-smilie:

I'd keep an eye on him.
Reply 9
Original post by eden3
Perhaps they're planning on meeting up? :s-smilie:

I'd keep an eye on him.


its hard as i barely see him as he works away.
he says that since then (me confronting her) that they dont speak anymore but i cant confirm this either way
Could be a whole number of things, but strange that he'd delete the conversation. Don't jump to any conclusions though because there's no way to tell for sure from this.
Original post by Alexion
Could be a whole number of things, but strange that he'd delete the conversation. Don't jump to any conclusions though because there's no way to tell for sure from this.


can you personally think of any other reason as to why he'd delete the convo even though he knows i had no knowledge of it
(he also tried to lie about it before admitting to it)
Original post by Anonymous
can you personally think of any other reason as to why he'd delete the convo even though he knows i had no knowledge of it
(he also tried to lie about it before admitting to it)


on some apps I delete entire conversations just to tidy screen space
in other occasions I've deleted conversations out of anger or frustration, and certainly wouldn't want to talk to people about why

don't automatically assume he's trying to hide it because of any cheating intentions, and that last message could imply all manner of things tbh
They been friends for nines years if they liked eachother they would've been an item already at some point
Reply 14
How did you see the messages? Sorry if this has been said and I've missed it.*
Original post by Anonymous
imagine this scenerio:

you have a gf and family your supposedly happy with,everythings going smoothly.

your talking on fb to a female friend from school (9 years since leaving school so quite a long friendship), however your gf does NOT know that your talking to this girl.

every message you send to her and all bar one she sends to you, you delete bar the one that says "not talking to me now xxx".

what would the reason be for deleting these messages.


You wouldn't want your girlfriend to know because she might get the wrong impression and may break up with you, and you wouldn't tell your family because they could gossip it and it would be like Chinese whispers, when the news reaches your girlfriend it would be a whole other story.
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you must have his balls clenched so hard in control that the poor guy fears a firing squad for talking to another female xD
You have to learn to trust him at least until he gives you a reason not to and this isnt it.

His reason is he doesnt want you to worry, but the other alternative is he knows what a pain it will be to explain to you hes talking to is female friend and so hes saved himself the aggro.. It may be some of the conversations you wouldnt approve of (flirting), but you should give him his own space.

If you are going to be on his back, stressing and worrying about it, then you do yourself and him a disservice.

Would it be better if he left the messages and then sent the convos for you to approve? Going down that route will split you.
(edited 7 years ago)

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