First of all, your spirituality (or lack of) is something that you can only truly explore on your own. Nobody can tell you what to eventually believe or not believe, because regardless, your mind, heart and gut will follow whatever it wants too. Be open-minded and look for the TRUTH. There is absolutely no point even acknowledging the intellectual cowards who tell you to go back to religion, and pray more. That isn't going to satisfy your questions. Don't be afraid to be critical and decisive. At the end of the day, you have one life (that is absolutely guaranteed) and you don't want to squander that on believing something that isn't satisfying morally or intellectually. At the same time, gut and heart are important, maybe as important as your logical reasoning, let that guide you to your truth/or whatever you find fulfilling. I am an ex-Muslim, who was incredibly devout, but I realised that I should be loyal to finding the truth, not finding the truth in Islam at all costs. I came to the conclusion, based on my own moral compass, that Islam was immoral by todays standards, that the Islamic depiction of God wasn't something I was comfortable believing in, nor did I think the attributes ascribed to that God were befitting of an all-wise, all-powerful creator. As you can tell, I still believe in a God, but I acknowledge that we probably will never have any empirical evidence to verify the existence of a creator or not, so I'm agnostic.