Getting over an ex....writing a list of things that was bad about them?

So an ex got back to me today. I broke up with her but I was going through quite a tumultuous time in my life and I simply couldn't pin down a relationship. I poured my heart out into a letter explaining all this but she said she simply threw away the letter. Needless to say, I am in pieces, as someone is when they wear their heart on their sleeve and have it stepped all over.

My question I guess is - how many people on here get over an ex by writing a long list of things that were bad about your ex? Because that is the advise i've gotten from friends and psychiatrists. Yet, whenever I start this task, I write one or two bad things and instantly give up? I feel like I am being an evil person by desecrating the memory of someone who was my world, for at least a part of my life?

Did I receive bad advise from friends and psychiatrists?

Reply 1

username1726117

You don't just get over them by writing the bad things, but it helps.

I've got a letter stored on my hard drive basically listing all the bs I had to put up with my ex. I'll never send it and will eventually delete it, but it was therapeutic to write it all out.

Reply 2

Nim_123

Writing everything bad about them helps, but other things, such as ripping up a picture of them , or manning about them to a friend helps me.

Reply 3

Abstract_Prism

Original post by TheUbermensche

Needless to say, I am in pieces, as someone is when they wear their heart on their sleeve and have it stepped all over.

You're not the one whose heart has been stepped on, your ex is. Throwing the letter away is, in my eyes, perfectly reasonable.

Writing out a list is a good thing to do, yes.

But it sounds like you didn't even want to break up with them in the first place.

Reply 4

TheUbermensche

Original post by Abstract_Prism

I didn't at the time, but I had too much going on so I needed some time off. Admittedly, it was a long time before I wanted her back but it hurts me that she wasn't even willing to hear me out.

Anyway, thanks appreciate your advise! Definitely need to cut up a few pics like you said!