The Student Room Group

i feel empty inside :'(

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(edited 7 years ago)

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Original post by boredasf
i feel like i'm not good enough or intelligent enough for anyone.
i feel as though i have no real friends.
my experience at uni has been ****. i want to start fresh but it's too late. i'm going to graduate next year and i don't even have proper friends.

i've been seeing a guy for a year and we've never defined our relationship. i'm unhappy and feel depressed.
i feel like this whole time he's been using me for sex. i let him take my virginity.
i'm so stupid. i've been so easy.

i think he flirts with other girls and talks to them. he's always liking other girls' pics on instagram. he obviously doesn't think i'm pretty enough.
i don't really dress up much like his ex-gf's do. he says he doesn't like girls who post lots of selfies and wear a lot of make up yet he's always liking their pics...

i don't understand him. i'm angry at him. i want to say something to him but i hate confrontation. he has no idea i feel like this. he probably thinks i'm fine with the fact that he's using me for his own sexual gratification.

what should i do?
what should i say to him???

xx


You'll be fine. Just know your worth

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Original post by boredasf
i feel like i'm not good enough or intelligent enough for anyone.
i feel as though i have no real friends.
my experience at uni has been ****. i want to start fresh but it's too late. i'm going to graduate next year and i don't even have proper friends.

i've been seeing a guy for a year and we've never defined our relationship. i'm unhappy and feel depressed.
i feel like this whole time he's been using me for sex. i let him take my virginity.
i'm so stupid. i've been so easy.

i think he flirts with other girls and talks to them. he's always liking other girls' pics on instagram. he obviously doesn't think i'm pretty enough.
i don't really dress up much like his ex-gf's do. he says he doesn't like girls who post lots of selfies and wear a lot of make up yet he's always liking their pics...

i don't understand him. i'm angry at him. i want to say something to him but i hate confrontation. he has no idea i feel like this. he probably thinks i'm fine with the fact that he's using me for his own sexual gratification.

what should i do?
what should i say to him???

xx


Just get rid of him, he's blatantly using you for his own sexual gratification.



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Reply 3
yeah i just don't know what to say to him..

i know i shouldn't generalise but i feel as though most men are so shallow and all they want is sex.
Original post by boredasf
i feel like i'm not good enough or intelligent enough for anyone.
i feel as though i have no real friends.
my experience at uni has been ****. i want to start fresh but it's too late. i'm going to graduate next year and i don't even have proper friends.

i've been seeing a guy for a year and we've never defined our relationship. i'm unhappy and feel depressed.
i feel like this whole time he's been using me for sex. i let him take my virginity.
i'm so stupid. i've been so easy.

i think he flirts with other girls and talks to them. he's always liking other girls' pics on instagram. he obviously doesn't think i'm pretty enough.
i don't really dress up much like his ex-gf's do. he says he doesn't like girls who post lots of selfies and wear a lot of make up yet he's always liking their pics...

i don't understand him. i'm angry at him. i want to say something to him but i hate confrontation. he has no idea i feel like this. he probably thinks i'm fine with the fact that he's using me for his own sexual gratification.

what should i do?
what should i say to him???

xx


First dont beat yourself up about it many people go through situations like this.. and if he hasnt made the effort to seal the relationship with you cut him off for a it see how he reacts if he just brushes it off... its probably time to move on but dont be mistaken he might come off as he cares so just put hime on the spot what does he really want???
Reply 5
okay, thank you so much for your advice xx
I know that confrontation could be the worst thing in the world, but you must open up to him about how you feel. Isn't that like a big part of a relationship- at least attempting to understand how your partner feels? Once you confront him and your feelings, you would be able to move on. Because this is what is making you so depressed- being stuck in this paranoid state,and it could be so draining. If this guy you are seeing cooperates then you could make it work, but if not then leave him. He is not worth your time. We live in a big world and there are so many nice, genuine people, you just need to focus your energy on finding that right person for you. Please don't lose hope!
Reply 7
Original post by boredasf
i feel like i'm not good enough or intelligent enough for anyone.
i feel as though i have no real friends.
my experience at uni has been ****. i want to start fresh but it's too late. i'm going to graduate next year and i don't even have proper friends.

xx


it's not too late - this is just what you're telling yourself so you have an excuse for your misery. if you want friends you need to get up off your arse and make them. Afraid you are going to have to just swallow your pride and go out there and try to befriend people.

Once you graduate and start working its much harder to make friends and relationships dont tend to be as quality as friends you make from uni, so you better hop to it now.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 8
Original post by maggie43
You'll be fine. Just know your worth

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god, what sh*t advice. Might as well have written:

"You'll be fine. Just eat a bacon sandwich"
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 9
Original post by Virgil.
it's not too late - this is just what you're telling yourself so you have an excuse for your misery. if you want friends you need to get up off your arse and make them. Afraid you are going to have to just swallow your pride and go out there and try to befriend people.

Once you graduate and start working its much harder to make friends and relationships dont tend to be as quality as friends you make from uni, so you better hop to it now.


i know, you're right.
but everyone in uni already has their own group of friends, i can't just tag along.. feels strange.

it's annoying because i do have friends at uni, but most of them already have a group of friends outside uni who they've known for years. i wish i had that. i wish i had a group of girlfriends. seems kinda impossible now :/
Hi, I kind of understand how you feel. I don't have any real, close friends either. But honestly, I actually prefere it that way. I never really get on with females, just can't seem to relate to them, but a group of guys, I'm comfortable and I can chat for ages, and feel right at home. At Uni I lived in a house with 4 guys. 😂. Before anyone says it..no I'm not some kind of s**t or anything, I've been with my partner for 23 years! Since 16!
I entered Uni into the 2nd year so everyone already had their groups of friends, I struggled and felt lonely, but then I joined 2 clubs. Hiking and Taekwondo and made some friends. Theres only one that I'm still in contact with from Uni.
My true friends, I met through work. We live hundreds of miles apart, rarely meet, but when we do it's like we've never been apart.

Are there any clubs/societies that interest you?
As for your boyfriend, I would get rid of him if after a chat he's still non commital. he's clearly not making you happy and that's not fair on either of you. Xx
(edited 7 years ago)
The good news is that once you graduate you will have the chance to make a fresh start.

You give a completely negative view of your relationship - if that's really how you see it I think you should just break up asap. Is there anything good about him? How did you get together in the first place?
Your problem is low self-esteem. Be assertive with your boyfriend - ask him if it is a real relationship or not. Join different clubs or do more to meet people. Start to take control instead of feeling like a victim of your circumstances.
Original post by cats_and_music
I know that confrontation could be the worst thing in the world, but you must open up to him about how you feel. Isn't that like a big part of a relationship- at least attempting to understand how your partner feels? Once you confront him and your feelings, you would be able to move on. Because this is what is making you so depressed- being stuck in this paranoid state,and it could be so draining. If this guy you are seeing cooperates then you could make it work, but if not then leave him. He is not worth your time. We live in a big world and there are so many nice, genuine people, you just need to focus your energy on finding that right person for you. Please don't lose hope!


I agree with this. You don't need to go in angry and confrontational though. Be calm and assertive OP. You owe it to yourself.
would like to get to know you
I think you should dump his ass. He doesn't deserve you. You ain't his whore or sidechick that he thinks he can keep using for his sexual desires. If he wants a **** that bad then he can go do it with one of the girls he flirts arounds with. You're more worth than that, he seems like he's just in it for the sex. I know this may seem really bad and I don't want to hurt your feelings... He just doesn't seem like the right guy for you. Maybe you're too worried about how your relationship is with him and don't realise the people around you often enough. Stop worrying about him and look around you. The only way to make friends is to take the first initiative with people. You should focus on your Uni work and how to make good friends. Forget the boy who's been in your mind for ages; throw him in the trash. Get yourself together! You ain't worthless. You'll eventually make good friends at some point; all you need to do is be yourself. No matter how you are! People love an honest and genuine person.. You just have to be that and the only way to be that is to be yourself. For now dump his sorry ass and focus on your education. ****heads like him aren't exactly going to get you anywhere in life and it sure as hell won't help you make any friends either.


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Reply 16
Original post by Halzy1234
I think you should dump his ass. He doesn't deserve you. You ain't his whore or sidechick that he thinks he can keep using for his sexual desires. If he wants a **** that bad then he can go do it with one of the girls he flirts arounds with. You're more worth than that, he seems like he's just in it for the sex. I know this may seem really bad and I don't want to hurt your feelings... He just doesn't seem like the right guy for you. Maybe you're too worried about how your relationship is with him and don't realise the people around you often enough. Stop worrying about him and look around you. The only way to make friends is to take the first initiative with people. You should focus on your Uni work and how to make good friends. Forget the boy who's been in your mind for ages; throw him in the trash. Get yourself together! You ain't worthless. You'll eventually make good friends at some point; all you need to do is be yourself. No matter how you are! People love an honest and genuine person.. You just have to be that and the only way to be that is to be yourself. For now dump his sorry ass and focus on your education. ****heads like him aren't exactly going to get you anywhere in life and it sure as hell won't help you make any friends either.
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thanks so much for your advice! you're right, i should dump him.. i just don't know what to say to him.xx
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
would like to get to know you


aww message me :smile:
Start taking control, tell him this is not on and you don't like it when he does that and inform him you do not like him liking female's pics on social media.

You will find the right person, go out, join online dating sites, go to speed dating events, join a club out of interest, you could meet him through your family or friends.

I wish you the best of luck!
Original post by boredasf
thanks so much for your advice! you're right, i should dump him.. i just don't know what to say to him.xx


Dump him in a smooth way. Tell him that you need a break for a bit, you need to refresh your mind etc and he'll probably get the hint that you wanna break up... Once a few weeks pass by from your 'break' he might try and get in contact and that's when you tell him that when you said you wanted a break it meant your dumping his sorry little ass into the trash can. If he doesn't get in contact again then it's better for you. I'd suggest you do it in person rather through text. Tell him in person in like a stressful way that you need a break for a few weeks and tell him that you hope he understands and respects that decision. Then if he tries to get in contact you should go to him in person and tell him that you don't think it's working out and that 'break' made you realise this, tell him it wasn't meant to be and that and walk away. After that you shouldn't really care about what he says or thinks anymore coz by that time you would've dumped his ass. I couldn't exactly explain it in detail here, you can message me if you want me to explain how you should break up with him step by step :biggrin: don't worry I'll free you from this 'relationship' and don't hesitate to message me whenever you need a friend; you're officially a part of my squad :P we can be great friends :biggrin: and you'll soon make more friends and have a great group of friends hanging out with you.. Try and get to know people, you obviously don't want to tag along with others as you think it's awkward so why not create your own little group eh?:smile: you'll meet new people and eventually will have your own group to hang out with. I hope this helped you somehow aha:smile: x


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