The Student Room Group

What do you make of my colleague TSR?

Good morning TSR!
Well I've been at my bar job for about 7 weeks now. It's a well known (infamous!!) pub chain and the atmosphere between staff is very bantery and relaxed. I have a laugh with most staff members and sometimes it is quite flirty. With one of my colleagues who is a tiny bit older than me, we haven't clicked and whilst sometimes we have a bit of small talk it's quite cold and clinical. Bearing this in mind, I found it so odd when on a busy shift completely out of the blue, he says, 'can I ask you something'. I said yes and he said, 'how many boyfriends have you had?' I replied with 'none. Why?'. He said, 'if they cheated on you what would you do?' I said I would chuck them. He then complained how it was 'pissing him off'. It sounds like a pretty mundane conversation but it just struck me as weird that we barely speak and he asks me (there are other female staff). Sooo I was curious so I asked if it was a friend who was being cheated on. He then told me it was another colleague. I asked, half joking if he fancied her. He wasn't too keen. He then told me about the whole situation including how she'd been cheated on numerous times and how she has developed strong feelings for him.
I usually try not to over analyse the interactions I have with the opposite sex, but the fact that he asked me out of the blue, told me something private which a colleague had confided in him suggests to me that maybe just maybe he was trying to make himself sound desirable or even less likely, mAke me jealous?
Could I have your opinions on this interaction please? Don't be too harsh guys!!!
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Good morning TSR!
Well I've been at my bar job for about 7 weeks now. It's a well known (infamous!!) pub chain and the atmosphere between staff is very bantery and relaxed. I have a laugh with most staff members and sometimes it is quite flirty. With one of my colleagues who is a tiny bit older than me, we haven't clicked and whilst sometimes we have a bit of small talk it's quite cold and clinical. Bearing this in mind, I found it so odd when on a busy shift completely out of the blue, he says, 'can I ask you something'. I said yes and he said, 'how many boyfriends have you had?' I replied with 'none. Why?'. He said, 'if they cheated on you what would you do?' I said I would chuck them. He then complained how it was 'pissing him off'. It sounds like a pretty mundane conversation but it just struck me as weird that we barely speak and he asks me (there are other female staff). Sooo I was curious so I asked if it was a friend who was being cheated on. He then told me it was another colleague. I asked, half joking if he fancied her. He wasn't too keen. He then told me about the whole situation including how she'd been cheated on numerous times and how she has developed strong feelings for him.
I usually try not to over analyse the interactions I have with the opposite sex, but the fact that he asked me out of the blue, told me something private which a colleague had confided in him suggests to me that maybe just maybe he was trying to make himself sound desirable or even less likely, mAke me jealous?
Could I have your opinions on this interaction please? Don't be too harsh guys!!!


It is difficult to know. I could be that he is a bit socially uncomfortable. Have you see what he is like with other people (especially women) who work there? It could be that he wanted the opinion of someone who didn't know the people involved in the situation, it could be that he felt comfortable talking to you and therefore was able to open up. I suppose it is possible that he made it up as a reason to talk to you if he likes you but it is only one of a few possibilities. Do you like him?
Reply 2
I don't mind him to be honest, I could take him or leave him. I just think it's weird and a little personal asking someone you don't really know (or have shown little interest in) how many bfs they've had! On the other hand I think he's a bit nervous around me because I've noticed he twitches a lot round me and no one else...hmmm....thanks for your reply xx
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 3
That's also very true - look at this forum for instance!

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