Social anxiety is ruining my life

I feel like my social anxiety is ruining my life. I'm starting my second year of college in September and I haven't done any extracurricular activities since primary school. The thought of starting any scares me so much, but I know my chances of getting into university without any is very low.

The idea of going to university terrifies me, but the idea of not going or doing a third year at college makes me feel like a failure. I picked a uni course almost at random because I have no idea what I want to do, so I'm struggling to write a personal statement for a course I'm interested in but not passionate about.

I haven't made any close friends in college, and I spend all of my free time online or reading or watching tv or anything else that distracts me from real life. I'm too anxious to make or answer phone calls (unless its to family members), and I can't get a part time job because I'm too anxious to go and ask if there are job vacancies and job interviews terrify me.

I was going to counselling until December last year, and I was supposed to be referred to somewhere else, but it never happened and I'm too anxious to ask my mum about it.

Reply 1

frostfly

Original post by Anonymous

Hello there,

Would you consider getting help from a Clinical Psychologist? They've had specialist training and is qualified to help those with social anxiety.

Here is the directory of Chartered Psychologists.

I wish you the best.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 2

Laurasaur

Original post by Anonymous

I didn't do any social extra curriculars either. I just read a couple of books, articles and did some online courses and competitions that were relevant to what I wanted to apply for. The social part of my personal statement was about how I helped an international student, but I didn't mention that this was in year 7.

Don't jump into a uni course if you don't think you want to do it! You'll seriously regret it. It took me until 2 weeks into year 13 to decide on what I wanted to do, and I'm still not 100% sure it's what I want to do, but it's the best looking decision I could come to.

As horrible as it is at first, the only way to help yourself is to push yourself. You have to want change enough to do something about it. You DO have the ability to talk to people, but you're afraid to use it. The best way to deal with the anxiety is to push through it: acknowledge that it's there, but continue to speak to people anyway. Also, act far more confident than you actually are. Use this false confidence as a mask until it becomes a real part of you. "Fake it 'til you make it" actually can work.

Sometimes it helps to realise that no-one really cares about how you come across, and remind yourself that life is short so you should make the most of the people around you while they're (and you're) around. People are interesting, ask them questions about their lives, learn new things from them.

Get CBT to retrain your thinking patterns if your thoughts are holding you back. You can and WILL change over the course of your life. The sooner you do something about it, the sooner you will change and the sooner you'll be happier. :smile:

Social anxiety is ruining my life

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