Do most muslims truly save themselves until marriage?

Original post by Saba XD

You do realise why I used that word to begin with, right?

It was for you because you got triggered over a word. Internet is not for the oversensitive. :laugh:

Nope, used to refer to you about being salty about others finding your culture gross :laugh:

Reply 382

Cherry82

Original post by Anonymous

I...

Wow, I'm so sorry for what happened to your sister, that's awful and no one should ever be treated that way. She is definitely not a "used" woman and I find it entirely disgusting that people actually think all there is to a woman is her body or "purity" as some say or what she could offer physically. I think thoughts like this are extremely toxic and in my opinion, this isn't what waiting is about.

As someone who is waiting, for me, it has been about going beyond the physical and getting to know the person's personality. Sometimes in relationships, people get blinded by how great the sex is which I've seen happen with a lot of my friends. Imagine finding a guy who loves you unconditionally and he hasn't even slept with you yet? I find that so beautiful. It shows even when you've aged and maybe the relationship is no longer "physical", you'd still have someone who loves you just as much.
For me, the whole purpose of waiting has also been to build and work on communication. I feel that this goes beyond sex. Me and my boyfriend, what we sometimes do is play engaging games made to strengthen couple's communicational skills loool. It sounds silly but we love it. Not only do I feel closer to him but it's allowed us to understand each other better. Imagine I've found someone who loves me for me without even sleeping with me yet. I won't say I'm a perfect Christian, I'm not even sure if I'm still a Christian anymore but I am spiritual. I think people can be spiritual without necessarily identifying with a religion so I believe in energies, chakras, the spiritual world and I still do love Jesus it's just with the bible...yea. Anyway, that's another story.
So to me, sex isn't only physical. It's very, very intimate to me and I hate being vulnerable but if I was to be vulnerable- I would any day be vulnerable with the man I am in the process of spending the rest of my life with.
I've been asked, what do we do in our "spare time" by others before but before we dated we were very good friends. Me and him are romantic but not sexual. So we cuddle, hold hands, watch movies and have deep conversations about life, supporting each other- here is the odd part, because we are spiritual we sit in the silence in open fields watching natural scenery... embracing nature's energy and all of its beautifulness too :biggrin:

.

I think if someone was to wait, they should find someone who wants to wait also or someone who could see the beauty of it. I did. It doesn't mean I'd end up marrying him because who knows we could end up breaking up tomorrow or that if I marry him, that we wouldn't get divorced since there's always a chance of it happening. But what I have noticed from my experience, those who waited out of their own choice prior, have great communicational skills and their bonding...it's quite phenomenal.

Then I've spoken to couples who waited and are now married, even to those who didn't wait and they've all explained something in common. Sex is an aspect of a relationship that needs constant work as life goes on. So it's why I feel, me sleeping with a guy now i.e my boyfriend wouldn't necessarily define how our sex life would be once we're married. I'm not saying you said this but often I've heard the car, testing analogy. Where people would claim how they would want to "test a car before driving it" which I find quite disrespectful because this analogy forgets that these are people...it's another form of objectification in my opinion just as the "used" woman ideology. I know when people say this, they do not mean to be rude but I feel at the same time they forget that people aren't cars specifically made for them to be "driven" but are people with emotions, blood through their veins and a personality.

So I always say, at one point all these sex gods that people obsess over (not speaking personally at you, just generally xx) were once virgins but learned through experience. Through experience, married couples can learn each other's bodies and what pleases each other. Also, say a couple dated for 3 years and had a great sex life then got married, do people really think it would mean their sex life would be great for the next 20 years, 30 years or however long they remained married?
I've said this before- children, new added stress, menopause, aging, so and so factors will sometimes affect a couple's sex life but those that remain strong together are those with good communication, who are open about these changes and work together to adapt to them.

Lastly,I always say, to know whether you're compatible in bed- it doesn't seem to be the testing, car analogy that's effective. In my opinion, their attitude towards sex is. People laugh about this but speak about it. We're lucky because in the society we're now in, so much information is out there for us to try and "know" ourselves and be open about it without judgment. Though I've never had 'intercourse' lol I'm not naive or clueless to the situation. I think understanding how your partner views women, their bodies, their own expectations..whether or not they seem selfish which could apply to their attitudes towards sex is important. You don't necessarily have to have sex to know a person's character and personality towards sexual matters unless the person has never heard of sex or doesn't know anything about it. But I feel, you do need to speak about it. Though I'm a virgin, I do know my body and how I feel about certain sexual activities. Naturally, I've always been a giver but I'm hoping to find someone who equally cares about my needs in bed too. The person I'm with feels the same way. People's attitudes can change too. But if someone truly loves and cares for you, you being satisfied would be equally important to their needs also.

Ok, that was an essay haha. My bad :u:

Reply 383

Original post by Anonymous

Nope, used to refer to you about being salty about others finding your culture gross :laugh:

weakass comeback. :rofl:

Reply 384

Original post by Saba XD

weakass comeback. :rofl:

That implies there was actually something good to make a comeback too and there wasn't :rofl:

Reply 385

Original post by Saba XD

weakass comeback. :rofl:

That implies there was actually something good to make a comeback to and there wasn't :rofl:

Reply 386

Original post by PrincessBO$$

This thread has become a war zone.
It has become a WAR ZONE!
:diep:

And, that too over just a word. :mmm:

Reply 387

Original post by Anonymous

That implies there was actually something good to make a comeback too and there wasn't :rofl:

Sorry, dearie you make zero to no sense. Just saying. :wink:

Reply 388

Original post by Saba XD

Sorry, dearie you make zero to no sense. Just saying. :wink:

Made perfect sense, you make no sense honey :wink:

Reply 389

Original post by Anonymous

Made perfect sense, you make no sense honey :wink:

Wishful thinking. :tongue:

Reply 390

Original post by Saba XD

Wishful thinking. :tongue:

For you yes :tongue:

Reply 391

Original post by Anonymous

For you yes :tongue:

You are an amateur at comebacks. You will get better (let's hope! fingers crossed). Learn from the best :wink:

Reply 392

Original post by Saba XD

You are an amateur at comebacks. You will get better (let's hope! fingers crossed). Learn from the best :wink:

That was a crap comeback :wink:

Reply 393

Original post by Anonymous

That was a crap comeback :wink:

See! This is exactly what I meant. :facepalm:

Get well soon dear. I will pray for you. :wink:

(Not that you want it but just because I am a nice person :biggrin:

)

Reply 394

Anonymous #5

Original post by Anonymous

Made perfect sense, you make no sense honey :wink:

I like pakis so when are we going to talk

Reply 395

Original post by Saba XD

See! This is exactly what I meant. :facepalm:

Get well soon dear. I will pray for you. :wink:

(Not that you want it but just because I am a nice person :biggrin:

)

Another crap comeback, don't worry, you'll improve :wink:

Reply 396

Original post by Anonymous

Another crap comeback, don't worry, you'll improve :wink:

That was not even a comeback :lol:

and, darling if my comebacks are crap then why are you copying them every time?

Reply 397

Original post by Saba XD

That was not even a comeback :lol:

and, darling if my comebacks are crap then why are you copying them every time?

Another crap comeback :lol:

Reply 398