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Divorcing your wife because she's infertile

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Original post by mercuryman
Assuming she isn't your wife then I agree with all the statements you've made on this thread. Marriage is a really serious thing that most people don't understand.


He said divorce.
Original post by 999tigger
He said divorce.


I know, that's why I initially disagreed. But now he's changed his question.
Original post by mercuryman
If you really want children and you really love her, then why not just adopt children? That's what I would do.


While i'm sure that parents do love their adopted children i think it's probably a somewhat different depth of love to a genetic heir of pure blood between two people. It's the difference between buying a house and building one, you can make them both into what your heart desires but one will always be that much more rewarding and emotive for you.

Original post by Prince of Punani
I've noticed on TSR lots of guys tell girls it's ok to dump their boyfriends if they're not really feeling it and that they shouldn't feel guilty because sometimes relationships dry up so I was wondering about the other side to this.

Is it ok to divorce a woman if she turns out to be barren and you really want children of your own?


I imagine it would be a pretty horrid decision but yeah, i probably would. For me as much as i'd love the girl, a fair part of marrying her and giving her that commitment would be me believing that she was worthy of being the mother to my future children.
Original post by mercuryman
I know, that's why I initially disagreed. But now he's changed his question.


Sorry I must have missed it. Why has he changed it? Dovorcing your wife is completely different from splitting up with your GF.
Original post by mercuryman
I know, that's why I initially disagreed. But now he's changed his question.


I should address this my apologies. I don't personally see much difference between long term girlfriends and wives since divorce in this country is such an easy thing. The only inconvenience for me would be losing money.
Original post by loooopppyyy
Its kind of unfair to have children at that age though and have them lose the parents to alzheimers and stuff at such a young age


if a girl wants to slide up and down your walking stick let her have a go I say
Original post by Trapz99
People do care about this, maybe the social justice warriors on tsr don't but the majority of people would want to have children and continue their family.


Would you be interested in a sex doll that has biological capabilities to give birth as well?
Original post by mercuryman
Would you be interested in a sex doll that has biological capabilities to give birth as well?


No i would only date a human who I like and who wants and can have children.
Original post by Trapz99
No i would only date a human who I like and who wants and can have children.


What if she is fertile but doesn't want children? Goodbye to your bloodline then.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by mercuryman
What if she is fertile but doesn't want children? Goodbye to your then.


Then I would divorce her, unfortunately. Having children is extremely important to me and I wouldn't marry someone unless they are committed to having children as much as I am and they are able to have children.
Original post by mercuryman
Would you be interested in a sex doll that has biological capabilities to give birth as well?


Yes.
Original post by Natalierm2707
If you literally just married her because you wanted children then divorce her i suppose.

But to me marriage is not for kids, its about being committed to someone whom you love, and I would never divorce anyone if I found out they were infertile. I married them because I love them and wouldnt just get rid because they arent fertile, they cant exactly help that fact (most of the time).

Adoption is a great gift for people to give, so I would go down this route rather than penalise my partner, they probably already feel upset about it because if your trying for children or talk about it they obviously want kids of their own, imagine how it must feel to not be able to have that and then have your partner leave you for it to.


PRSOM. Some very entitled immature boys here, most of whom have no idea about adult relationships or commitment.

Some marriages/relationships do break up due to infertility, but I think that's more about the stress and pressure of going through testing, IVF, getting hopes up and having them dashed etc, rather than just because some MRA thinks his "bloodline" is in any way important.

Having gone through fertility investigations and treatment, without knowing which of us had a "problem," I have some idea of the emotional turmoil it entails, though fortunately got pregnant with less invasive treatment than IVF. We discussed what we would want if it never happened for us, and agreed that adoption wasn't for us (though it's fantastic for some couples), but that while it would be devastating to not have children, we could still have an amazing life together. This is because I am not married to a dickhead.
Original post by Helenia
PRSOM. Some very entitled immature boys here, most of whom have no idea about adult relationships or commitment.


Not my problem, we live in a world where no fault divorce exists so why complain about a man living within the system set for him?
Why would you even want children in the first place? You're basically ruining your life.
Original post by Prince of Punani
Not my problem, we live in a world where no fault divorce exists so why complain about a man living within the system set for him?

Oh, you're well within your rights to divorce someone for whatever reason you like. And I'm well within my rights to think it's a *****y thing to do and the person doing it is probably a prick.
Original post by Helenia
Oh, you're well within your rights to divorce someone for whatever reason you like. And I'm well within my rights to think it's a *****y thing to do and the person doing it is probably a prick.


my heart bleeds :nopity:
Reply 56
Original post by Helenia

Some marriages/relationships do break up due to infertility, but I think that's more about the stress and pressure of going through testing, IVF, getting hopes up and having them dashed etc, rather than just because some MRA thinks his "bloodline" is in any way important.
.

I'm not sure why you think its an MRA thing. The scientific literature is very clear on this: most aspects of human character including things such as intelligence and personality are extremely heavily influenced by genetics, and parenting/environment has little impact (especially after the child is over 1-2 years old). If you adopt a kid then it isnt going to have any of your characteristics - it wont look like you, it wont behave like you, its intelligence will be uncorrelated to yours, and so on. You are basically just raising someone else's kid. If you are fine with that then cool, but its not surprising that many arent.

The other less savory aspect is that children who end up for adoption arent a random subset of the population, and often end up there because their parents are dysfunctional, or have made poor decisions. Now remember that most human personality traits are strongly influenced by genetics, and put two and two together.
Original post by poohat
I'm not sure why you think its an MRA thing. The scientific literature is very clear on this: most aspects of human character including things such as intelligence and personality are extremely heavily influenced by genetics, and parenting/environment has little impact (especially after the child is over 1-2 years old). If you adopt a kid then it isnt going to have any of your characteristics - it wont look like you, it wont behave like you, its intelligence will be uncorrelated to yours, and so on. You are basically just raising someone else's kid. If you are fine with that then cool, but its not surprising that many arent.

The other less savory aspect is that children who end up for adoption arent a random subset of the population, and often end up there because their parents are dysfunctional, or have made poor decisions. Now remember that most human personality traits are strongly influenced by genetics, and put two and two together.


I think you misunderstood the emphasis in my post. As I said, it's clear adoption isn't for everyone, for lots of the reasons you've highlighted, and I also said it wasn't something we wanted if we couldn't have biological children. My objection was to the boys saying "dump the *****" based on their imagined importance of their name/bloodline, rather than considering the complexities of the scenario.
It's stupid to me. There is always a route for adoption so why would you do that? Also shows that it wasn't real love in the first place if you divorce for something trivial like that.
It's up to you. I've been dumped before, twice, because I'm a barren as well. It depends how much kids mean to you so just do what you want. It's a *****y feeling to the person being dumped though. Really *****y. Made me feel unwanted and worthless, but ah well, **** happens in life. Sorry for all the swearing.
(edited 7 years ago)

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