The Student Room Group

Problems with trust issues

Recently I've been feeling lost with regards to relationships, and it's slowly been eating away at me. I haven't exactly had the best track record with relationship, as with my last few relationships things have always seemed to end the same ways. Mainly because they've always seemed to have a male friend that was always really close to them, and I got jealous thinking the worse.

I just wanted to see if there was anyone here who could give me some sort of advice on how to fix this, if able. All advice is welcomed :smile:
You could go for women without any close male friends.
Original post by TercioOfParma
You could go for women without any close male friends.


The male friends only seem to come along after me and the individual have been together for a bit of time
Original post by TheSwift1998
The male friends only seem to come along after me and the individual have been together for a bit of time


How many relationships have you had where this has happened?
Don't be a pussy. Never feed anxiety or jealousy by giving it any credence, just ignore the voices. There's nothing more unattractive than someone who's insecure, jealous or possessive. Be entirely un-needy and confident or this will keep happening. You have to be like a magnet, the strongest magnets attract the most iron fillings (women).
Original post by TercioOfParma
How many relationships have you had where this has happened?


My three serious ones
Original post by TheSwift1998
My three serious ones



How long is "serious"
Original post by TercioOfParma
How long is "serious"


A few months each times, but the way in which the relationships were conducted made them serious
Original post by TheSwift1998
Recently I've been feeling lost with regards to relationships, and it's slowly been eating away at me. I haven't exactly had the best track record with relationship, as with my last few relationships things have always seemed to end the same ways. Mainly because they've always seemed to have a male friend that was always really close to them, and I got jealous thinking the worse.

I just wanted to see if there was anyone here who could give me some sort of advice on how to fix this, if able. All advice is welcomed :smile:


Have you been cheated on previously?
Original post by Wednesday23
Have you been cheated on previously?


Yes
Original post by TheSwift1998
Yes


Firstly, you can't just avoid relationships where girls have close guy friends, avoiding your problem is the worst thing you can do.

The best thing you can do right now is to seek out some counselling. The only way to deal with trust issues - especially in a relationship where the partner has given the untrusting partner no reason to not trust them - is to work through your problem with a counsellor.

Get to the root cause of it, go back and look at that relationship where you were cheated on, analyse it, pull it apart and see it in a new light, one where you don't think every girl is going to do this to you. Your thoughts and feelings around guy friends needs to change, a professional can help you do that. Without this, you will continue having trouble in relationships.

Speak to your GP, they should be able to tell you about counselling services in your area, there may be a waiting list, but you'll get some counselling eventually.
Original post by Wednesday23
Firstly, you can't just avoid relationships where girls have close guy friends, avoiding your problem is the worst thing you can do.

The best thing you can do right now is to seek out some counselling. The only way to deal with trust issues - especially in a relationship where the partner has given the untrusting partner no reason to not trust them - is to work through your problem with a counsellor.

Get to the root cause of it, go back and look at that relationship where you were cheated on, analyse it, pull it apart and see it in a new light, one where you don't think every girl is going to do this to you. Your thoughts and feelings around guy friends needs to change, a professional can help you do that. Without this, you will continue having trouble in relationships.

Speak to your GP, they should be able to tell you about counselling services in your area, there may be a waiting list, but you'll get some counselling eventually.


I don't think I'll be going to my GP about this, as I feel this is a problem that I can sort out myself. Thanks for the help though :smile:

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