Girlfriend going clubbing
Let my start by saying I'd never deny my girlfriend going clubbing as I trust her completely.
However, every time she goes out clubbing I just worry about what other guys do to her. Every time she goes out there's another story about a guy who's tried to hit on her and not leave her alone. Even when we go out together guys sometimes look at her and try to dance closer to her; every time this happens I get angry and it ruins the night. I don't want to feel like this, I want to have the mind set where I just say 'okay cool, she's not doing anything and the guys are nothing they're just creeps' but I can't help get angry. It's my girl so why would I want other guys trying to flirt with her and dance with her? How do I change how I feel? She knows how much it annoys me too so I know a lot of things she would never tell me. I just wanna be chill while she goes out but I just can't
Like for example, the other night in the club I was with her basically all night bar ten minutes while I went to pee, next thing I know her and her friend are trying to find me because a guy wouldn't leave her alone. Why can't I just go out without other creepy guys doing **** to her. I know she's a good looking girl but I'm so done with this stuff every time.
And another thing, I love her but I don't think a girl/woman would ever understand how I feel in this situation because girls always get approached by guys and barely vice versa, I don't think she understands how horrible it is to know that other guys try and flirt with her, even if she says no.
How do I stop feeling like this?
However, every time she goes out clubbing I just worry about what other guys do to her. Every time she goes out there's another story about a guy who's tried to hit on her and not leave her alone. Even when we go out together guys sometimes look at her and try to dance closer to her; every time this happens I get angry and it ruins the night. I don't want to feel like this, I want to have the mind set where I just say 'okay cool, she's not doing anything and the guys are nothing they're just creeps' but I can't help get angry. It's my girl so why would I want other guys trying to flirt with her and dance with her? How do I change how I feel? She knows how much it annoys me too so I know a lot of things she would never tell me. I just wanna be chill while she goes out but I just can't
Like for example, the other night in the club I was with her basically all night bar ten minutes while I went to pee, next thing I know her and her friend are trying to find me because a guy wouldn't leave her alone. Why can't I just go out without other creepy guys doing **** to her. I know she's a good looking girl but I'm so done with this stuff every time.
And another thing, I love her but I don't think a girl/woman would ever understand how I feel in this situation because girls always get approached by guys and barely vice versa, I don't think she understands how horrible it is to know that other guys try and flirt with her, even if she says no.
How do I stop feeling like this?
Easy. Dump her.
Original post by RDKGames
Easy. Dump her.
Yeah great advice man, wow.
It's kind of cute you feel protective over her but I don't think you can do that much apart from tell the guys who hit on your gf to back off.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah great advice man, wow.
Stop thinking about it so much then. If you can't, then clearly you need to express this to her and make her understand, even for her own sake. Does she even go clubbing frequently enough for you to have a serious issue about this?
Original post by MrsSheldonCooper
It's kind of cute you feel protective over her but I don't think you can do that much apart from tell the guys who hit on your gf to back off.
I know. But I don't think she sees things from my perspective, because she sees me get angry and it just makes her angry because I don't think she understands how horrible it is and it causes arguments say if I argue or fight with another guy. And I don't want to straight up be like, 'you need to look at things from my point of view boys come up to you all the time', because she hasn't done anything wrong.
Idk, maybe with time I'll learn to live with it.
Original post by Anonymous
I know. But I don't think she sees things from my perspective, because she sees me get angry and it just makes her angry because I don't think she understands how horrible it is and it causes arguments say if I argue or fight with another guy. And I don't want to straight up be like, 'you need to look at things from my point of view boys come up to you all the time', because she hasn't done anything wrong.
Idk, maybe with time I'll learn to live with it.
Idk, maybe with time I'll learn to live with it.
Maybe take a really good scary looking friend of yours to keep an eye on her just in case a guy gets too personal?
Just see it as flattery, as long as she knows go to handle herself.
Your the only one who can control your emotions no one can make you change how things make you feel so..?. I say just take it as flattery and laugh it off.
Your the only one who can control your emotions no one can make you change how things make you feel so..?. I say just take it as flattery and laugh it off.
So what if she gets attention from guys? at the end of the day she's you're girlfriend. You're the one she comes to when she needs support, you're the one she gets intimate with, you're the one she CHOSE to date. Just take it with a pinch of salt and feel a little pride that you're dating this good looking girl that all the other guys want
It all comes down to trust though doesn't it. If you can honestly say you trust her, then you really have nothing to worry about. Why would you care about some sad git trying to dance close to your girlfriend, when you know she doesn't give a toss?
Surely your anxieties must boil down to you worrying that she might hook up with another guy. Or perhaps that she may feel discontent with you, given how many other guys hit on her. What else would your concerns be? Do you see how it is possibly irrational of you to think that way?
You need to accept that when girls go clubbing, even if we look like Fiona in Ogre mode, we get hit on. And we all know that it means absolutely nothing, it's just some desperate, drunk guy trying to satisfy his ego. She knows that, so should you.
You need to accept that, and trust her.
Also, out of curiosity, is she better looking than you?
Surely your anxieties must boil down to you worrying that she might hook up with another guy. Or perhaps that she may feel discontent with you, given how many other guys hit on her. What else would your concerns be? Do you see how it is possibly irrational of you to think that way?
You need to accept that when girls go clubbing, even if we look like Fiona in Ogre mode, we get hit on. And we all know that it means absolutely nothing, it's just some desperate, drunk guy trying to satisfy his ego. She knows that, so should you.
You need to accept that, and trust her.
Also, out of curiosity, is she better looking than you?
I dunno. That's what everyone says to me, but I always think how is it flattery if someone looks at my girl like she's a slut or something. I get the same if someone were to look at a friend like that cos it's disgusting. I think from now on maybe I should just let her deal with it completely by herself, unless she needs me to step in. That way she can see for sure why I got angry at the dude and that it was justified, and maybe that will also but my mind at ease for times like now when she's out. What makes it worse is that one time she went out with her friends and some of my friends (I had an exam to study for) and my guy friend said he has to 'fend off guys all night', so it's sort of like why can't she deal with it herself? I think I should just leave it to her and see how she deals with it herself.
I agree with all you're saying people. It's true I shouldn't care, but I do because yeah I'm a little protective.
I would say she's better looking but probably being biased haha. Idk if maybe it's something to do with the fact she's asian and I'm white, and a lot of clubs we go to are majority asian?
I would say she's better looking but probably being biased haha. Idk if maybe it's something to do with the fact she's asian and I'm white, and a lot of clubs we go to are majority asian?
It's just not the normal amount of attention a girl usually gets, yes it's flattering because it shows I'm a lucky guy. But when I'm out with girl mates it's never as bad as when I'm with her, it makes no sense.
Lets assume the worst case scenario and she gets done up the arse behind a kebab van. Its bad news but its not like life altering, as long your still getting some whats the problem? However I doubt she's even as radical as that; probably one of the standard dull mainstream sluts you see dancing in a circle for four hours with other tedious sluts in more or less every ordinary nightclub in the country.
Original post by Anonymous
Let my start by saying I'd never deny my girlfriend going clubbing as I trust her completely.
However, every time she goes out clubbing I just worry about what other guys do to her. Every time she goes out there's another story about a guy who's tried to hit on her and not leave her alone. Even when we go out together guys sometimes look at her and try to dance closer to her; every time this happens I get angry and it ruins the night. I don't want to feel like this, I want to have the mind set where I just say 'okay cool, she's not doing anything and the guys are nothing they're just creeps' but I can't help get angry. It's my girl so why would I want other guys trying to flirt with her and dance with her? How do I change how I feel? She knows how much it annoys me too so I know a lot of things she would never tell me. I just wanna be chill while she goes out but I just can't
Like for example, the other night in the club I was with her basically all night bar ten minutes while I went to pee, next thing I know her and her friend are trying to find me because a guy wouldn't leave her alone. Why can't I just go out without other creepy guys doing **** to her. I know she's a good looking girl but I'm so done with this stuff every time.
And another thing, I love her but I don't think a girl/woman would ever understand how I feel in this situation because girls always get approached by guys and barely vice versa, I don't think she understands how horrible it is to know that other guys try and flirt with her, even if she says no.
How do I stop feeling like this?
However, every time she goes out clubbing I just worry about what other guys do to her. Every time she goes out there's another story about a guy who's tried to hit on her and not leave her alone. Even when we go out together guys sometimes look at her and try to dance closer to her; every time this happens I get angry and it ruins the night. I don't want to feel like this, I want to have the mind set where I just say 'okay cool, she's not doing anything and the guys are nothing they're just creeps' but I can't help get angry. It's my girl so why would I want other guys trying to flirt with her and dance with her? How do I change how I feel? She knows how much it annoys me too so I know a lot of things she would never tell me. I just wanna be chill while she goes out but I just can't
Like for example, the other night in the club I was with her basically all night bar ten minutes while I went to pee, next thing I know her and her friend are trying to find me because a guy wouldn't leave her alone. Why can't I just go out without other creepy guys doing **** to her. I know she's a good looking girl but I'm so done with this stuff every time.
And another thing, I love her but I don't think a girl/woman would ever understand how I feel in this situation because girls always get approached by guys and barely vice versa, I don't think she understands how horrible it is to know that other guys try and flirt with her, even if she says no.
How do I stop feeling like this?
There's no solution brah. If you dont want to deal with it, date an ugly chick.
I'm in same boat as you. My gf gets hit on literally every time she goes out anywhere, not just clubs.
As long as you trust your girl not to cheat, you will eventually just come to live with and accept it.
Just be glad in a way. It's a constant reminder your gf is a fine piece of real estate, and your the one that owns the keys
Original post by Anonymous
I know. But I don't think she sees things from my perspective, because she sees me get angry and it just makes her angry because I don't think she understands how horrible it is and it causes arguments say if I argue or fight with another guy. And I don't want to straight up be like, 'you need to look at things from my point of view boys come up to you all the time', because she hasn't done anything wrong.
Idk, maybe with time I'll learn to live with it.
Idk, maybe with time I'll learn to live with it.
You need to be possessive sure (she's yours and no one' elses), but not insecure about it. What's the difference you ask?
Possessive: Telling any guy who tries to dance with her/chat her up to bacdafucup
Insecure: Going to start a fight with ever guy that tries to dance with her / chat her up. If you're doing this repeatedly, you can understand how it would be a hassle for her
if you havent already, you just need to talk with her about it and let her know cheating is not on. If she's a good girl she'll respect you and wont do anything, and if she's not she'll cheat and you'll be better off without her anyway
From a girl's point of view, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I love clubbing and partying, but everything is innocent, and it's just to have a good time. It's a social event, so yes, there will be other people there too. Why don't you try clubbing with her sometimes? Also, if she tells you about these experiences with guys, then that's a good thing, that she is actually opening up to you, and that she is not hiding these things. That definitely shows that she is trustworthy! 
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