Do we really need close friends?

Hi everyone,

All through school I've had just one best friend. We were really really close and it was just the two of us. Once we got to college we both got boyfriends, but we'd still hang out together and we were still really close.

Fast forward about 6 months. It's really close to exam time. My best friend suddenly starts avoiding me, won't let me join in on conversations and eventually blocks me on Facebook. Around this time I also broke up with my boyfriend, so I started to feel really alone. I've never been without a close friend.

For weeks I constantly wonder how she could throw away a 6 year friendship like that, when we were that close. I thought I must've done something, so I messaged her (on another Facebook account) and she just told me she's happier without me.

I can't seem to get close to anyone else and I feel like nobody is there for me, however during this next year at college I am going to be really focused on my college work and I am hoping to go to the University of Manchester next year (about 2 hours away from where I live).

Do I really need to get any [close] friends or should I just ride it out til I leave for uni?

ride out till uni

i dont know what you mean by 'we', you mean 'I', just because you lost a close friend it doesn't mean it will happen to others

Reply 3

Kevin De Bruyne

I think it's good to have someone like that in your life, but those people won't necessarily be people you meet in a very 'limited' place like 6th form where you don't get to meet a lot of people if you put your mind to it. Not saying that uni is a magical place where you're meant to get a tonne of friends, but you just get to meet a larger volume of people in general if you put yourself out there.

Reply 4

TeenRose29

It's good to have a really close friend or more than one because you know they're always there and they've got your back and they can help out etc so yeah maybe more than 1 though ☺️

Reply 5

TheGreatImposter

Don't really know what I'd do without my best friend tbh she's like my rock but I have so many close friends who I only got close to this year so one year is no means not enough time to get someone who you can talk to/ be comfortable around

Reply 6

It's****ingWOODY

You never know how things are gonna work out. I had what I'd call an "acquaintance" at school - just one of my buddies, we'd hang out together here and there but we weren't close at all, didn't know much about each other. Then I think we were about 18 when we bumped into each other at the local shops, he'd just moved into my area and we started hanging out regularly. We're now in our mid 20s and we're best mates, like brothers. I've seen him meet his Mrs, have a couple of kids, get married (I was the best man!). We can tell each other anything. I think it's important to have a friend you can just be yourself in front of and not be paranoid that they're gonna take the piss behind your back.

Reply 7

shawn_o1

Whether you make friends or not, you need to appear approachable and demonstrate the skills required for when you leave uni and start looking for work :wink:

Reply 8

username2750592

This sounds so similar to what happened with an old best friend of mine!

Quite literally joint at the hip, absolute best friend - and now (final year at uni) I just can't build a similar relationship with anyone, I find it so difficult. Everyone's different, but I personally think close friends are so important, a home away from home kinda thing. I've made close friends after falling out with her, but I can't say I've got a best friend - everything in one - if that makes sense?

Long story short - sorry about your fallout, time does heal all wounds- it took 3 years before my friend and I started speaking again, but don't push away people that try and get close to you, that's one mistake I made :smile:

Reply 9

Warrior Gene

I dont understand one thing, if she was your friend how can she behave like this. i mean there must be a reason that you are not aware of?

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

I had a group of friends for years then in around year 11 we fell out. (I blame myself, I was a stupid ****.) Now I have no friends, despite my various efforts, and my plan had been to ride it out till University, as someone above said, but I now doubt I will be going to University an thus I doubt I'll ever get another friend again.

I do think it is important to have close friends though and that's the kind I want to get.

Reply 11

Amefish

Original post by shawn_o1

Whether you make friends or not, you need to appear approachable and demonstrate the skills required for when you leave uni and start looking for work :wink:

That's true! Although I was once working at McDonald's as a customer care assistant, so I didn't have to wear a hat. I dyed my hair purple and blue and they told me I had to put a hat on because I looked "unapproachable" - that's going to stay with me forever! Especially considering the hair colour encourages people to chat.

Original post by Warrior Gene

I dont understand one thing, if she was your friend how can she behave like this. i mean there must be a reason that you are not aware of?

I thought that as well and I asked her that when I messaged her, she avoided the question and just said she was happier without me.

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My next issue is: how do you make close friendships that quickly? Is it something you're meant to pursue or something that just happens?

Reply 12

shawn_o1

Original post by Amefish

My next issue is: how do you make close friendships that quickly? Is it something you're meant to pursue or something that just happens?

Best to just go to as many social events as possible (preferably those that don't involve drinking), or attend sports clubs or societies during your final year. Be yourself. :smile: