The guy I have been seeing says he's bored lonely and tired. Should I be offended?

We've been going on dates, it isn't anything serious at all. We've been friends for a while. Everything was going ok. Yesterday he said something needs to change because he is bored and lonely.

He said he was considering going back to his old ways when he was kind of a player. However he still ended up feeling lonely. He doesn't think there are much good women left that are on the same page as him.

Then he went on to say he thinks he's going for the wrong women and then be rants about dating women with children (i don't have kids btw). I kinda felt like I didn't really exist since be overlooked the fact have been getting close recently.

He is the one that has been pulling out all the stops to try and impress me, so I'm confused. It just leads me to think that he isn't that into me or playing some kinda game to see my reaction? It was really odd...

Oh my, that's rather strange. Just to clarify, has he been referring to your 'dates' as 'dates' or is that how you've perceived them? Because from the sounds of it, you may be stuck in the friendzone hun.

We literally had that conversation yesterday. He said he needs to think of another date idea and then I joked and said it's not a date (he knows what I'm like), he said he doesn't know see the big deal since they are dates and I agreed. Then when I saw him after this conversation he had a big grin so in his face as he spoke our next '' date".

Okay, so they most definitely are dates. Maybe he is trying to change his way from being a 'player', but he's struggling because he misses the (what I presume would be) thrill of it? Hence why he said he feels bored and tired. I'd say just ask him outright, very simply, what is going on between the two of you. But as you said earlier maybe he's just trying to gauge your reaction to what he says…


I feel like you most definitely need some male input regarding this.

I just don't understand why you would be saying something like this to a girl you supposedly like.

Are you sleeping with him? He's probably enjoying your company, enjoying hanging out with you, likes to impress you because he feels like "a man" , but ultimately, he doesn't want to end up with you - hence the "talk" ..so that when he dumps you to move on, you're not shocked since he already warned you.

A guy who likes you enough, regardless of if he was a player etc...will do ANYTHING to keep his girl. So if he's not, and he is talking about not being able to find a girl on the same page...chances are, that includes you.

Don't get me wrong me aren't in a relationship just been on some dates. We aren't sleeping together... Its funny cos about two weeks ago he was talking about wanting to settle down etc.however he was talking a about when i meet his parents before he gets out the friendzone and made it seem like some sort of a challenge. I hear what you're saying though, thanks. I am so done with dating.

We've been going on dates, it isn't anything serious at all. We've been friends for a while. Everything was going ok. Yesterday he said something needs to change because he is bored and lonely.

He said he was considering going back to his old ways when he was kind of a player. However he still ended up feeling lonely. He doesn't think there are much good women left that are on the same page as him.

Then he went on to say he thinks he's going for the wrong women and then be rants about dating women with children (i don't have kids btw). I kinda felt like I didn't really exist since be overlooked the fact have been getting close recently.

He is the one that has been pulling out all the stops to try and impress me, so I'm confused. It just leads me to think that he isn't that into me or playing some kinda game to see my reaction? It was really odd...

You will be okay.

The alarm bells I see here, is that he wants to date you..but in the back of his mind, probably doesn't see it going anywhere. Don't waste more of your time. Find someone out there who would move heaven and earth to be with you.

Christ, some of you girls are a bit dumb aren't you. Clearly he's not falling over himself to be with you, isn't that obvious? If you want a serious relationship look elsewhere.

What a f****** as*h***, I'd end it, see how " lonley " he'll get then.

Christ, some of you girls are a bit dumb aren't you. Clearly he's not falling over himself to be with you, isn't that obvious? If you want a serious relationship look elsewhere.

What a f****** as*h***, I'd end it, see how " lonley " he'll get then.

I think thats his weird way of trying to tell you that he wants it to be more than just dates but yeah that is a pretty offensive thing to say.

ignore him for a while and then bring it up when he asks why

Thank you. I tried so hard to ignore him today and he keep popping up everywhere trying to get my attention. Kmt

Honestly...that's what you want. You need to be in a position where you are able to maintain control.

Guys are able to maintain control because they tend to delay texting, read your message etc...make you wait at the edge of your seat for their reply - DO THE SAME.

Tell him the reason you want to get some distance is because you have been thinking about what he said about finding someone on the same page, and it's disappointing that he didn't think that person was you. And so, you wish him well for finding that person more suited to him.