The Student Room Group

Boyfriend and his friend.

Boyfriend just walked his female friend to work but she has a boyfriend and is staying at hers for like 2 night. Is he nice or is there something else? And he spent like a day out with her for almost the whole day, he says she's a good friend. But, is he stepping the line a bit? Or is he just being a good friend?

Scroll to see replies

That seems inappropriate.
Reply 2
Original post by Gorillion
That seems inappropriate.


How?
What you describe sounds suspect to me. Yes, of course, they can be just friends. When one is in a relationship it is generally not okay to spend the entire day with a friend of the opposite sex, socially. Wait, I just reread your post...did he stay at hers??? Obviously, people of the opposite sex work together all day long but it is when it is a social get together that it just doesn't feel right (to me) and it is definitely not okay if he's staying at hers!! I just don't think guys who consider themselves in a committed relationship would even think about walking another girl to work or spending an entire day with another girl much less spend the night at another girls flat!! So, in my opinion, yes he is stepping on the line. You should talk to him about your concern. If you are in a relationship with him your relationship comes first and he should respect your concern. If he makes excuses and continues to see her socially (even if she has a boyfriend) then he's not being respectful to you. Don't be a doormat and let him continue seeing her this way. Suggest that you go out as couples and get to know her and her boyfriend yourself but he shouldn't be seeing her socially on the level that he is. Sorry, I'm seeing red flags here.
It depends on the context really. I have female friends who I'll spend the day with and stay the night absolutely just as friends, but that's because I no longer live near them. If it was someone who lived pretty close, it would be at least unusual.
I don't get the issue at all.
How long have they been friends for? If it's more than a year I'll be ok with it
There's nothing wrong with hanging out with a friend for a day, male or female. Staying over for a couple of nights is probably the kind of thing he should be running by you, as it's something any girlfriend would be concerned about.*
Reply 8
Original post by Hopefully1
What you describe sounds suspect to me. Yes, of course, they can be just friends. When one is in a relationship it is generally not okay to spend the entire day with a friend of the opposite sex, socially. Wait, I just reread your post...did he stay at hers??? Obviously, people of the opposite sex work together all day long but it is when it is a social get together that it just doesn't feel right (to me) and it is definitely not okay if he's staying at hers!! I just don't think guys who consider themselves in a committed relationship would even think about walking another girl to work or spending an entire day with another girl much less spend the night at another girls flat!! So, in my opinion, yes he is stepping on the line. You should talk to him about your concern. If you are in a relationship with him your relationship comes first and he should respect your concern. If he makes excuses and continues to see her socially (even if she has a boyfriend) then he's not being respectful to you. Don't be a doormat and let him continue seeing her this way. Suggest that you go out as couples and get to know her and her boyfriend yourself but he shouldn't be seeing her socially on the level that he is. Sorry, I'm seeing red flags here.


da***?

clingy as hell
No, just let him go and don't worry about it.

If he cheats, then he's an ***hole and it gives you a chance to break it off. He'd be doing you a favour really, then you could look for someone better.

If nothing happens between them, then they're just friends and there's nothing wrong with that.

GUYS CAN BE FRIENDS WITH GIRLS, DON'T GET PARANOID. If anything happens, let it happen and deal with it then. Until then, you're just punishing yourself by worrying about it.
(edited 7 years ago)
Guys can have female friends, especially if your boyfriend has been friends with this girl for a while.

I don't think that it's appropriate that a guy should ditch his female friends just because he's in a relationship because quite frankly, these people have probably been in his life far longer than you've been together.

If you feel uncomfortable, insecure or paranoid about it, maybe it's worthwhile talking to your bf about it so you can then set boundaries on these kind of occasions. *
So basically youre a control freak who doesn't trust her boyfriend? Or her? Is her boyfriend okay with it btw?
Original post by DanielleT192
Guys can have female friends, especially if your boyfriend has been friends with this girl for a while.

I don't think that it's appropriate that a guy should ditch his female friends just because he's in a relationship because quite frankly, these people have probably been in his life far longer than you've been together.

If you feel uncomfortable, insecure or paranoid about it, maybe it's worthwhile talking to your bf about it so you can then set boundaries on these kind of occasions. *


Totally agreed :smile:
Original post by Hopefully1
What you describe sounds suspect to me. Yes, of course, they can be just friends. When one is in a relationship it is generally not okay to spend the entire day with a friend of the opposite sex, socially. Wait, I just reread your post...did he stay at hers??? Obviously, people of the opposite sex work together all day long but it is when it is a social get together that it just doesn't feel right (to me) and it is definitely not okay if he's staying at hers!! I just don't think guys who consider themselves in a committed relationship would even think about walking another girl to work or spending an entire day with another girl much less spend the night at another girls flat!! So, in my opinion, yes he is stepping on the line. You should talk to him about your concern. If you are in a relationship with him your relationship comes first and he should respect your concern. If he makes excuses and continues to see her socially (even if she has a boyfriend) then he's not being respectful to you. Don't be a doormat and let him continue seeing her this way. Suggest that you go out as couples and get to know her and her boyfriend yourself but he shouldn't be seeing her socially on the level that he is. Sorry, I'm seeing red flags here.



What if they were friends even before he was with his girlfriend? Or even knew her? I don't think a guy should have to ditch every female friend in his life for a girlfriend. That's controlling and manipulative.
Reply 14
It's ok to spend a day with a friend, regardless of their gender. As for the sleeping over I guess it depends. If they live far from each then it makes sense. Or if they are old friends and this is something they have been doing for a long time. Or if other people are included. It would be a bit odd if this was a relatively new friend that lives nearby, but it could be that she is going through a hard time right now and needs the support, which is why he spends some nights at her house. I guess it's a matter of taking to him about it.
Original post by Mrs House
How long have they been friends for? If it's more than a year I'll be ok with it


Since like September i believe
Original post by Anonymous
Boyfriend just walked his female friend to work but she has a boyfriend and is staying at hers for like 2 night. Is he nice or is there something else? And he spent like a day out with her for almost the whole day, he says she's a good friend. But, is he stepping the line a bit? Or is he just being a good friend?


What's the issue? You are against him having female friends?
Original post by Hopefully1
What you describe sounds suspect to me. Yes, of course, they can be just friends. When one is in a relationship it is generally not okay to spend the entire day with a friend of the opposite sex, socially. Wait, I just reread your post...did he stay at hers??? Obviously, people of the opposite sex work together all day long but it is when it is a social get together that it just doesn't feel right (to me) and it is definitely not okay if he's staying at hers!! I just don't think guys who consider themselves in a committed relationship would even think about walking another girl to work or spending an entire day with another girl much less spend the night at another girls flat!! So, in my opinion, yes he is stepping on the line. You should talk to him about your concern. If you are in a relationship with him your relationship comes first and he should respect your concern. If he makes excuses and continues to see her socially (even if she has a boyfriend) then he's not being respectful to you. Don't be a doormat and let him continue seeing her this way. Suggest that you go out as couples and get to know her and her boyfriend yourself but he shouldn't be seeing her socially on the level that he is. Sorry, I'm seeing red flags here.

What do you mean by socially? Its pretty much like, he was spending 2 nights because of some errands and spending time with her and needed a place to stay , so she offered him her place since she lives there. And he walked her to work at 10 pm and back at 3am because its far and was dark
Original post by Pinkberry_y
Wait your boyfriend is staying round at this girls house for 2 days? WHY?!
Have they known each other for very long? If this is something new which is happening I would be suspicious. Be honest with him and just talk to him about it. Like casually mention he's been spending a lot of time with this girl


Theyve known each other since September because they're on the same course. And also he needed a place to stay and errands to do during the time. The thing is, i know he'll probably spend more time because he'll be back in September before me and she's one of the only people who live there. And he doesn't like to be on his own.

But i do feel like hes spending a lot of time but, havent seen her since June.
Don't worry OP I'm sure that there's nothing to suspect with this situation especially if he had a legitimate reason.

It's probably just a one off occasion where he hasn't had anywhere to go and it probably makes sense because she lives nearby.

I think most, if not all, girls do get a little bit insecure when they're with someone and there's girls in the scene (friends or acquitants). We end up a little territorial lol. I advise not letting this get over the top of you though as it sounds like there's nothing to worry about :smile:

Quick Reply