Horrible driving instructor, ended up crying in the lesson

So basically I had to find a new tutor for a couple of lessons before my driving test as when I came back from uni and tried to book lessons with my old instructor he was fully booked.
So initially the lesson started off okay but she just became more and more strict and was nit picking on everything I did, which fair enough is her job to do that but the way she did it was so rude and her tone. She was going for the strict tough love route. I wasn't used to her car as everything was the other way round so it took me half the lesson just to get used to the different side of indicators etc. She'd ask really condescending questions then be like how could you not know this if you've already her lessons before, when's your test again? This is common sense blah blah.
Anyway so we were in the middle of doing a reverse into a corner manoeuvre and by this point I was completely put off and had lost all my confidence in driving because of her so I was doing it really badly, whilst she kept going why are you doing this why are you doing that? No dry steering blah blah. So I started crying and I don't even mean sweet one teared cry but full on crying my eyes out which kinda freaked her out so she started acting a bit nicer but the rest of the lesson was still horrible as I felt embarrassed that I cried and sometimes I'd start crying again for no reason then I'd think of how lovely and amazing my old instructor was and how I was so good when he taught me I started crying again. I just didn't like this instructor whatsoever no matter what she said I didn't like her and wanted to shout in her face how horrible she she was. At the end of our lesson she did sit me down and talk to me about it saying I need to be strong and was being quite motivational but by this time I felt so stupid. What do I do? Shall I just text her now and say I won't be needing any more lessons thanks? I've already booked another 2 with her but haven't paid for those yet.
Argh I just feel so dumb and incompetent. What do I do?????

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Reply 1

Reue

Get a new instructor*

Reply 2

username2088165

I'd definitely suggest finding a new instructor, your instructor should never make you uncomfortable or upset! If you don't like her attitude and style of teaching, then the best thing to do would be to stop having lessons with her. Let her know that you won't be requiring any more lessons with her, and find a new instructor that you feel comfortable with :smile:

Reply 3

username2255129

defo find a new instructor, if her way of teaching is making you feel stupid and unconfident then get rid of her she's a waste of your money, i had a similar experience my instructor was very rude towards me even though he knew i was a very unconfident driver, i dropped him but probably too late because i absolutely detest driving now

Reply 4

Ezme39

Her method might work for some people, but it evidently doesn't for you! Just say to her that you'd like to cancel the lessons, and ask friends/ family for a good instructor in the area :smile:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Reue

Get a new instructor*

I just want my old instructor back he was so lovely and patient and knowledgeable and so professional, so much better than her. Like I guess by the book she was knowledgable but idk there's something I can't put my finger on I didn't like about her that made me so upset

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Leviathan1741

And omg it got so bad and I didn't wanna look like an emotional wreck for no reason so at the end of the lesson I said I'm sorry I found out a close family member had a stroke this morning and it's really upsetting that's why I'm very emotional right now, which was a complete lie but I'm really bad with confrontation but Still I really shouldn't have said that. And the thing is my test is in 2 weeks time I don't even think I'll be able to find a proper tutor in the time before that and my old tutor is fully booked till September :frown:

My mum did say i can practice in her car until I have my test rather than getting another instructor as this one made me so upset

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Wingsly

Exactly! Im sorry to hear that :frown:

I really do think though that driving is 50%! About confidence and 50% ability, she was saying to me at the end of my lesson how academically gifted people like myself can find it challenging sometimes to do something so practical like driving! Like what the hell I was ready to take the test with my old Instuctor before you came along!!!

Reply 8

arose007

I've had a horrible instructor that made me cry in the lessons so I know exactly how you feel. Getting a new instructor is absolutely the right thing to do! :smile:

my old one was the same and just kept ripping into me whenever I made a mistake even though it was only my second lesson ever. Get a new one and you won't look back! Try and ask around so you can get someone who you know is nice :smile:

all the best x

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Ezme39

Her method might work for some people, but it evidently doesn't for you! Just say to her that you'd like to cancel the lessons, and ask friends/ family for a good instructor in the area :smile:

But I don't understand how anyone can find this method helpful in any shape or form :frown:

ok I can be a bit of an emotional and sensitive person sometimes but she was just urgh. I was never ever like this with my old instructor

Reply 10

Bittah Demon

Yeah, if you don't like her, don't have any more lessons.

Be honest, just say the way she was with you means you don't want any more lessons with her, and find someone else.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by arose007

I've had a horrible instructor that made me cry in the lessons so I know exactly how you feel. Getting a new instructor is absolutely the right thing to do! :smile:

all the best x

Okay

the thing that makes me feel worse though is I've had like 25 hours already and was practically ready to take my test with my old instructor (but then had to go back to uni) then when I drove with her today it was like being back in my 3rd lesson ever driving! Even though I've been practicing driving since getting back from uni :frown:

she completely knocked my confidence within the first 10 minutes of the lesson

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by Donkey******

Yeah, if you don't like her, don't have any more lessons.

Be honest, just say the way she was with you means you don't want any more lessons with her, and find someone else.

Do you think I should leave a scathing review on her page on yell.com?

Reply 13

hellodave5

If you're going to teach someone, the last thing you do is pick holes in their performance especially in such an abrupt way, or make them feel like rubbish. Get someone who actually knows what they're doing.

Reply 14

username2088165

Original post by Anonymous

My mum did say i can practice in her car until I have my test rather than getting another instructor as this one made me so upset

Aww, don't worry about it! Driving instructors teach all sorts of people, it's likely that wasn't the first time she'd had someone get upset during a lesson (especially with her nasty attitude!). Perhaps it'd be better to just practice at your own pace in your mum's car, rather than trying to find a new instructor at such short notice? :smile:

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by hellodave5

She'd say things like you would get a major fail for this. You just touched the pavement whilst trying to park. Everything in the way she said made me feel stupid and incompetent that I couldn't focus on the driving whatsoever which in turn led her to pick on more things I did. She didn't even cover a broad number of routes like my old instructor did

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by Leviathan1741

Yeah that's what I was thinking :smile:

she said at the end of the lesson though to limit how much I practiced with parents because they're not always aware of every technical thing that needs to be done on the road and that examiners are aware of :frown:

but surely it's better than practicing with her
Shall I leave a scathing review on her page on yell.com and on her website?

Reply 17

markova21

I echo everyone else's advice and get a new instructor. I vividly remember my first ever driving lesson. I was about 27 and he was younger than me. When I told him this was my first ever lesson he said, "What, you're 27 and you've never been behind the wheel of a car before? Well I can see it's going to take me a long time to teach you then ". Un bloody believable. Talk about knocking my confidence before i'd even started. I was actually dreading the following week's lesson. When it arrived he just made me feel worse. Told me he could tell I was going to be a slow learner. I cancelled the following week, and found a lovely, gentle, patient older man who had been teaching people to drive for over 40 years, not some arrogant prick who had probably not been instructing for long and thought he was God's gift.

Reply 18

hellodave5

Original post by Anonymous

In a teaching sense, she is atrociously bad.
In doing that, she will make you make further mistakes and perform considerably worse - as you will be second guessing everything you do, and not focusing on what is required. Confidence is a huge thing for driving too.
Perhaps tell her politely how you feel, and that you don't think it would be appropriate to continue with the lessons as you are upset.

Reply 19

markova21

Original post by Anonymous

Do you think I should leave a scathing review on her page on yell.com?

I would. You are a paying customer, and paying a fair bit every hour. You should expect a certain standard, not just of professionalism and knowledge but also of politeness and patience. Other people considering booking this woman need to know what she is like.