Needy clingy guy
Just wondering if someone could help me or give me some advice.
I started talking to a guy at the beginning of July. I got a bit carried away and I guess I lead him on, I wasn't really thinking.
He's lovely and treats me well, but he's far too clingy and needy and gets moody and jealous about everything and is quite controlling. He says we should get into a relationship soon because we have been talking for a month but i don't really want that right now. I haven't even met him. Plus, I'm off to uni next month and it may sound selfish but I want to enjoy the uni life and experience without him holding me back. I went for a night out the other day and he wouldn't stop texting and phoning me constantly. Just imagine what he would be like if I went to uni. However I'm scared that no one else will ever like me as much as he does.
What can I do? I've tried telling him that it's not going to work but he always manages to persuade me otherwise.
I started talking to a guy at the beginning of July. I got a bit carried away and I guess I lead him on, I wasn't really thinking.
He's lovely and treats me well, but he's far too clingy and needy and gets moody and jealous about everything and is quite controlling. He says we should get into a relationship soon because we have been talking for a month but i don't really want that right now. I haven't even met him. Plus, I'm off to uni next month and it may sound selfish but I want to enjoy the uni life and experience without him holding me back. I went for a night out the other day and he wouldn't stop texting and phoning me constantly. Just imagine what he would be like if I went to uni. However I'm scared that no one else will ever like me as much as he does.
What can I do? I've tried telling him that it's not going to work but he always manages to persuade me otherwise.
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Tell him it was casual and you don't want to be in a long distance relationship when you're at uni. It might mean he gets upset, or tries to offer you more, but just tell him straight. Nothing worse than having someone tip-toe around it.
All you have to do is tell him that you're not interested in him in that way and you don't want to be in a relationship with him. Do/say it in the nicest way you can if you want to spear his feelings.
Also OP, you've only spoke assuming online for a month and he's already getting clingy and jealous. Don't feel bad or feel that there's not going to be other guys that are interested in you. There'll be plenty of other guys.
Also OP, you've only spoke assuming online for a month and he's already getting clingy and jealous. Don't feel bad or feel that there's not going to be other guys that are interested in you. There'll be plenty of other guys.
You've only been talking for a month, and yet he's already completely obsessed with you and knowing where you are and how you are etc.To be honest, he would bring down your uni experience because he'd constantly be bothering you if the last month is anything to go by. As you said, you haven't even met him. If I were you I'd tell him to Foxtrot Oscar, but I suppose you're more polite than me 
Don't allow his manipulative behaviour to persuade you into being with him. You clearly don't like him the way he wishes you did, and if you got with him he'd just become more manipulative and controlling. Refuse him and get on with a much happier life!
Don't allow his manipulative behaviour to persuade you into being with him. You clearly don't like him the way he wishes you did, and if you got with him he'd just become more manipulative and controlling. Refuse him and get on with a much happier life!
Original post by Anonymous
Just wondering if someone could help me or give me some advice.
I started talking to a guy at the beginning of July. I got a bit carried away and I guess I lead him on, I wasn't really thinking.
He's lovely and treats me well, but he's far too clingy and needy and gets moody and jealous about everything and is quite controlling. He says we should get into a relationship soon because we have been talking for a month but i don't really want that right now. I haven't even met him. Plus, I'm off to uni next month and it may sound selfish but I want to enjoy the uni life and experience without him holding me back. I went for a night out the other day and he wouldn't stop texting and phoning me constantly. Just imagine what he would be like if I went to uni. However I'm scared that no one else will ever like me as much as he does.
What can I do? I've tried telling him that it's not going to work but he always manages to persuade me otherwise.
I started talking to a guy at the beginning of July. I got a bit carried away and I guess I lead him on, I wasn't really thinking.
He's lovely and treats me well, but he's far too clingy and needy and gets moody and jealous about everything and is quite controlling. He says we should get into a relationship soon because we have been talking for a month but i don't really want that right now. I haven't even met him. Plus, I'm off to uni next month and it may sound selfish but I want to enjoy the uni life and experience without him holding me back. I went for a night out the other day and he wouldn't stop texting and phoning me constantly. Just imagine what he would be like if I went to uni. However I'm scared that no one else will ever like me as much as he does.
What can I do? I've tried telling him that it's not going to work but he always manages to persuade me otherwise.
Do what every other woman does. Friendzone him hard.
Original post by Anonymous
Just wondering if someone could help me or give me some advice.
I started talking to a guy at the beginning of July. I got a bit carried away and I guess I lead him on, I wasn't really thinking.
He's lovely and treats me well, but he's far too clingy and needy and gets moody and jealous about everything and is quite controlling. He says we should get into a relationship soon because we have been talking for a month but i don't really want that right now. I haven't even met him. Plus, I'm off to uni next month and it may sound selfish but I want to enjoy the uni life and experience without him holding me back. I went for a night out the other day and he wouldn't stop texting and phoning me constantly. Just imagine what he would be like if I went to uni. However I'm scared that no one else will ever like me as much as he does.
What can I do? I've tried telling him that it's not going to work but he always manages to persuade me otherwise.
I started talking to a guy at the beginning of July. I got a bit carried away and I guess I lead him on, I wasn't really thinking.
He's lovely and treats me well, but he's far too clingy and needy and gets moody and jealous about everything and is quite controlling. He says we should get into a relationship soon because we have been talking for a month but i don't really want that right now. I haven't even met him. Plus, I'm off to uni next month and it may sound selfish but I want to enjoy the uni life and experience without him holding me back. I went for a night out the other day and he wouldn't stop texting and phoning me constantly. Just imagine what he would be like if I went to uni. However I'm scared that no one else will ever like me as much as he does.
What can I do? I've tried telling him that it's not going to work but he always manages to persuade me otherwise.
You are off to Uni, tell him that and you dont wish to get into a relationship. Friendzone or block him.
Obviously the warning signs anyway are jealous and controlling, they are even bigger than needy clingy. Be firm but civil about it, he cant force you.
Forget friendzone, block and remove contact. He's not behaving in a healthy or particularly safe way.
It sounds like he wouldn't react well to no contact so if that is the case, you can forget "sparing his feelings". You can be firm and say no. You're not responsible for the feelings of other people especially people that make you uncomfortable.
Also, if you're in the head space where you would trade your personal freedom ( which is what happens in a controlling relationship) so that you're not alone, I would suggest seeking therapy or doing some form of personal analysis and discovery. 1. I doubt you'll be alone forever so you don't need to sacrifice yourself to the first guy to show an interest. 2. You are worth more than that
It sounds like he wouldn't react well to no contact so if that is the case, you can forget "sparing his feelings". You can be firm and say no. You're not responsible for the feelings of other people especially people that make you uncomfortable.
Also, if you're in the head space where you would trade your personal freedom ( which is what happens in a controlling relationship) so that you're not alone, I would suggest seeking therapy or doing some form of personal analysis and discovery. 1. I doubt you'll be alone forever so you don't need to sacrifice yourself to the first guy to show an interest. 2. You are worth more than that
personally i think you should be grateful . having a guy thats crazy and wants to make it work is the one thing that makes him different . I am not saying get into a relationship straight away but take it slow . If he's a decent guy , then tell him your not ready yet .
It totally depends if you have feelings for him ?
It totally depends if you have feelings for him ?
Original post by Anonymous
personally i think you should be grateful . having a guy thats crazy and wants to make it work is the one thing that makes him different . I am not saying get into a relationship straight away but take it slow . If he's a decent guy , then tell him your not ready yet .
It totally depends if you have feelings for him ?
It totally depends if you have feelings for him ?
Grateful for what, exactly?
Original post by ~Tara~
Don't see why they should be grateful. Jealousy and controlling are not compliments - those things are never about the person on the receiving end anyway
Being grateful implies that it is unusual for someone to care about them. Which is BS.
Being grateful implies that it is unusual for someone to care about them. Which is BS.
My boyfriend started of being that type of guy ,he was jealous before we were together and often ask me why I would talk to other guys . At first I was creeped out about it , but it shows how much he cared about me . Dont take it as a negative attribute in a person .
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend started of being that type of guy ,he was jealous before we were together and often ask me why I would talk to other guys . At first I was creeped out about it , but it shows how much he cared about me . Dont take it as a negative attribute in a person .
Jealousy is not a good attribute for a guy to have, especially when you've only started speaking/seeing a guy. It can usually lead into more psychotic behaviour and someone controlling your every move.
A little bit of jealousy is natural, especially if you have been in a relationship for a while, but having high levels to begin with is warning signs that it's not just insecurities a person has but beyond (and no, I don't agree it shows they care; it's more they're very insecure and controlling)*
I don't know where exactly we are taught that jealousy, control etc are signs of care and love. They're really not. Sometimes we might like our partner to show a little jealousy but usually that's because maybe we're feeling insecure or the relationship is on a tepid phase and needs some love/passion reinjecting (which you can do without the involvement of others)
There's also a very large margin between showing others you're in a relationship when a stranger is being flirty vs shaming and blaming your partner for ether the behaviour of others or merely talking to someone else. When I see women being flirty with my partner, it makes me fancy him even more. So I go over and give him a kiss. Then maybe I tell him later how much I like that others want him. That's the extend of the discussion. I don't blame him because a woman came up to him to try her luck. Not even when she is brazen and aware of me. I also don't tell him to make himself less attractive, less noticeable to others in order to stop women coming on to him. Nor do I accuse him of liking their attention, cheating or wanting to leave me. Or tell him that if he loved me he would do x, y, z. - because that's not healthy behaviour. Doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, that behaviour is not healthy and not how you display love and respect in a relationship.
There's also a very large margin between showing others you're in a relationship when a stranger is being flirty vs shaming and blaming your partner for ether the behaviour of others or merely talking to someone else. When I see women being flirty with my partner, it makes me fancy him even more. So I go over and give him a kiss. Then maybe I tell him later how much I like that others want him. That's the extend of the discussion. I don't blame him because a woman came up to him to try her luck. Not even when she is brazen and aware of me. I also don't tell him to make himself less attractive, less noticeable to others in order to stop women coming on to him. Nor do I accuse him of liking their attention, cheating or wanting to leave me. Or tell him that if he loved me he would do x, y, z. - because that's not healthy behaviour. Doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, that behaviour is not healthy and not how you display love and respect in a relationship.
Original post by Anonymous
Just wondering if someone could help me or give me some advice.
I started talking to a guy at the beginning of July. I got a bit carried away and I guess I lead him on, I wasn't really thinking.
He's lovely and treats me well, but he's far too clingy and needy and gets moody and jealous about everything and is quite controlling. He says we should get into a relationship soon because we have been talking for a month but i don't really want that right now. I haven't even met him. Plus, I'm off to uni next month and it may sound selfish but I want to enjoy the uni life and experience without him holding me back. I went for a night out the other day and he wouldn't stop texting and phoning me constantly. Just imagine what he would be like if I went to uni. However I'm scared that no one else will ever like me as much as he does.
What can I do? I've tried telling him that it's not going to work but he always manages to persuade me otherwise.
I started talking to a guy at the beginning of July. I got a bit carried away and I guess I lead him on, I wasn't really thinking.
He's lovely and treats me well, but he's far too clingy and needy and gets moody and jealous about everything and is quite controlling. He says we should get into a relationship soon because we have been talking for a month but i don't really want that right now. I haven't even met him. Plus, I'm off to uni next month and it may sound selfish but I want to enjoy the uni life and experience without him holding me back. I went for a night out the other day and he wouldn't stop texting and phoning me constantly. Just imagine what he would be like if I went to uni. However I'm scared that no one else will ever like me as much as he does.
What can I do? I've tried telling him that it's not going to work but he always manages to persuade me otherwise.
If he really likes you and you really like him, then what is the problem?
But its your choice if you think in uni you will find someone better then drop him
You guys haven't even met and he's acting this way. One word- desperado.
Run for the hills.
Run for the hills.
Original post by Anonymous
Just wondering if someone could help me or give me some advice.
I started talking to a guy at the beginning of July. I got a bit carried away and I guess I lead him on, I wasn't really thinking.
He's lovely and treats me well, but he's far too clingy and needy and gets moody and jealous about everything and is quite controlling. He says we should get into a relationship soon because we have been talking for a month but i don't really want that right now. I haven't even met him. Plus, I'm off to uni next month and it may sound selfish but I want to enjoy the uni life and experience without him holding me back. I went for a night out the other day and he wouldn't stop texting and phoning me constantly. Just imagine what he would be like if I went to uni. However I'm scared that no one else will ever like me as much as he does.
What can I do? I've tried telling him that it's not going to work but he always manages to persuade me otherwise.
I started talking to a guy at the beginning of July. I got a bit carried away and I guess I lead him on, I wasn't really thinking.
He's lovely and treats me well, but he's far too clingy and needy and gets moody and jealous about everything and is quite controlling. He says we should get into a relationship soon because we have been talking for a month but i don't really want that right now. I haven't even met him. Plus, I'm off to uni next month and it may sound selfish but I want to enjoy the uni life and experience without him holding me back. I went for a night out the other day and he wouldn't stop texting and phoning me constantly. Just imagine what he would be like if I went to uni. However I'm scared that no one else will ever like me as much as he does.
What can I do? I've tried telling him that it's not going to work but he always manages to persuade me otherwise.
I did block him on everything but then I couldn't block his Facebook it told me I couldn't block him because 48 hours hadn't passed.
Original post by xobeauty
You guys haven't even met and he's acting this way. One word- desperado.
Run for the hills.
Run for the hills.
Yeah you're right 😂
Original post by Helloagain1
If he really likes you and you really like him, then what is the problem?
But its your choice if you think in uni you will find someone better then drop him
But its your choice if you think in uni you will find someone better then drop him
I don't like him as much as he likes me I don't catch feelings within like a week. And yeah it's not I think I'll find someone better in uni I just don't want to start something a month before uni and I don't want to rush into anything. Thanks for you help X
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