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Moving in with your partner at University?
My partner and I are planning on moving in together in the coming months. He is going to be at University, which is where we'll move to. I have already graduated and am in employment with the possibility to transfer that job to where we go. He will be starting a job as soon as possible to supplement his student loan, so that our finances are shared 50/50. We'll be renting a house together, money isn't an issue; I'm sure it'll be a bit tight, but isn't it always...
We're confident in getting on just fine, and we're prepared for the inevitable arguments caused by stress, especially at the start.
I come here to ask if anyone else has done this or something very similar, and to hear about your experiences, your do's and don'ts, the highs and lows and everything in-between. What did your parents think of it? What did your friends think? Did you end up murdering your other half?
We're confident in getting on just fine, and we're prepared for the inevitable arguments caused by stress, especially at the start.
I come here to ask if anyone else has done this or something very similar, and to hear about your experiences, your do's and don'ts, the highs and lows and everything in-between. What did your parents think of it? What did your friends think? Did you end up murdering your other half?
Original post by fathead431
My partner and I are planning on moving in together in the coming months. He is going to be at University, which is where we'll move to. I have already graduated and am in employment with the possibility to transfer that job to where we go. He will be starting a job as soon as possible to supplement his student loan, so that our finances are shared 50/50. We'll be renting a house together, money isn't an issue; I'm sure it'll be a bit tight, but isn't it always...
We're confident in getting on just fine, and we're prepared for the inevitable arguments caused by stress, especially at the start.
I come here to ask if anyone else has done this or something very similar, and to hear about your experiences, your do's and don'ts, the highs and lows and everything in-between. What did your parents think of it? What did your friends think? Did you end up murdering your other half?
We're confident in getting on just fine, and we're prepared for the inevitable arguments caused by stress, especially at the start.
I come here to ask if anyone else has done this or something very similar, and to hear about your experiences, your do's and don'ts, the highs and lows and everything in-between. What did your parents think of it? What did your friends think? Did you end up murdering your other half?
I moved in with my fiance in the middle of 1st year of uni and although my friends warned me to be careful they appreciated i have a sensible head and my mum was fine with it. We've lived together for over 2 years and have yet to have an argument, so its not inevitable at all:P I guess Do's are to work well as a team and chores wise to work together on them.
Original post by fathead431
My partner and I are planning on moving in together in the coming months. He is going to be at University, which is where we'll move to. I have already graduated and am in employment with the possibility to transfer that job to where we go. He will be starting a job as soon as possible to supplement his student loan, so that our finances are shared 50/50. We'll be renting a house together, money isn't an issue; I'm sure it'll be a bit tight, but isn't it always...
We're confident in getting on just fine, and we're prepared for the inevitable arguments caused by stress, especially at the start.
I come here to ask if anyone else has done this or something very similar, and to hear about your experiences, your do's and don'ts, the highs and lows and everything in-between. What did your parents think of it? What did your friends think? Did you end up murdering your other half?
We're confident in getting on just fine, and we're prepared for the inevitable arguments caused by stress, especially at the start.
I come here to ask if anyone else has done this or something very similar, and to hear about your experiences, your do's and don'ts, the highs and lows and everything in-between. What did your parents think of it? What did your friends think? Did you end up murdering your other half?
Hello
I'd just like to say to start with, I'm impressed with your confidence and level-headedness that you have about this. You know what you want, your confident and you are already prepared for the ups and downs which is something a lot of people lack when going into this type of situation.
Personally, I haven't done this but I know people that have and it's a 50/50 split. Those that prepared out finances, weighed up whether living together was a good option and what not have turned out fine and enjoy living together where as those he just jumped into it head first has generally turned out quite terrible.
I'd say overall, just ensure that even though you are living together - ensure you still have some 'me' time and some 'down' time to yourself - understandably you are a couple but keep your own passions alive (it already sounds like you are but it's worth the mention) so at the end of the day you aren't one person and have different dimensions of your relationship to bring to the table.
At the end of the day, it's the same as going to university in regards to parents thoughts. University is your time and if it feels right to you, your parents shouldn't tell you any differently and that's the same with this - if you feel it's right, then that should be good enough for them - understandably they'll have worries but that's natural.
Best of luck!
Original post by JustGeorgeJ
Hello
I'd say overall, just ensure that even though you are living together - ensure you still have some 'me' time and some 'down' time to yourself - understandably you are a couple but keep your own passions alive (it already sounds like you are but it's worth the mention) so at the end of the day you aren't one person and have different dimensions of your relationship to bring to the table.
I'd say overall, just ensure that even though you are living together - ensure you still have some 'me' time and some 'down' time to yourself - understandably you are a couple but keep your own passions alive (it already sounds like you are but it's worth the mention) so at the end of the day you aren't one person and have different dimensions of your relationship to bring to the table.
Good tip!
We should be having enough "me" time seeing as we'll be together all the time. I have my cars to fiddle with, and he has his guitars to fiddle with. We're intending on a reasonably big house with a spare room or two for computers and music so that we're not cramped in the room together when working too.
If you're already in a long term serious relationship I don't see the issue with it to be honest. The kinda relationships where people move in together after dating for like 6 months into university are the kind people hear horror stories or are warned about
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Jackieox
I live with my boyfriend! and we manage fine..
One thing about the finance thing and paying 50/50, it's not really fair to make him pay council tax for you to be honest... that's the only issue
One thing about the finance thing and paying 50/50, it's not really fair to make him pay council tax for you to be honest... that's the only issue
Yeah, I'd be paying my council tax, its not a massive amount. I believe I get a discount on it though being the only one paying it!
Original post by Pinkberry_y
If you're already in a long term serious relationship I don't see the issue with it to be honest. The kinda relationships where people in after dating for like 6 months into university are the kind people hear horror stories or are warned about
Yeah this is what has me worried. we've been going out for less than a year, but the speed at which things have progressed feels more important and more relevant .
we spend a lot of time together, and facetime every night, we're really cute like that. We've also spent a full 11 days together on holiday recently without a hitch, both supporting each other when something holiday related went wrong, and not falling out at all. I feel like it was a sort of "confirmation" of it being okay seeing as it was 24/7 contact for an extended period. He communicates with me about where he is and who he's with and what he's doing all the time, as do I, and it's built up a lot of trust. Obviously a holiday is not the real world, and there will be bickering about the washing and the bills and why there are poo stains on the toilet bowl, but the "getting along" part feels comfortable. My partner has expressed the same exact feelings about all of the above.
The only thing we're worried about is telling the parents.
My partner and I did that. Things didn't go to plan for me getting into uni, so I ended up getting a job and buying a house. He was doing a PhD. His parents arrived one weekend at my house with all my stuff!! 😂, they assumed he was moving in! ( he was but they didn't know that). A year later I went back to uni and did my degree.
Finances, we were lucky, mortgage was £150 a month to be split 50/50!!
I paid all the council tax while I was working, we had a 50% reduction for student, we didn't go 50/50 on everything, we both paid a set amount to cover the mortgage and bills equally, then what was left was our own. We still work like this now as our wages are significantly different.
We got together at 16, we are 40 now and still together! So it can work!
We didn't have any hiccups, we both had social lives separate and together, mostly together because we had the same friends.
As for parents..don't worry about them, show them that you are being financially sound by living together. It makes total sense!
Finances, we were lucky, mortgage was £150 a month to be split 50/50!!
I paid all the council tax while I was working, we had a 50% reduction for student, we didn't go 50/50 on everything, we both paid a set amount to cover the mortgage and bills equally, then what was left was our own. We still work like this now as our wages are significantly different.
We got together at 16, we are 40 now and still together! So it can work!
We didn't have any hiccups, we both had social lives separate and together, mostly together because we had the same friends.
As for parents..don't worry about them, show them that you are being financially sound by living together. It makes total sense!
(edited 7 years ago)
Me and my partner moved in together four months ago, and it was the best decision. We'd only been together a year and a half, but with my student loan and part time job, and him in full time employment it made sence. That was half way through my foundation year and Im due to start my full degree in September.
My advice would be to divide the boring jobs and stick to it. For example I'm in charge of dish washing, clothes washing and wiping surfaces. He's in charge or hoovering, cooking and taking the bins out. It means that all jobs are always taken care of without bickering over who should do it.
Money wise, we split 50/50. Our council tax offered a 25% discount but it depends where you live.
With reference to 'me' time, as long as you both have your own hobbies which I saw you did it will be fine. During exams i was a bit of a nightmare and didn't want to socialise or watch films as much but that only lasts a few weeks a year. But we did get two hamsters to keep me company whilst studying and when he was working and out.
Nothing beats coming home to your best friend/partner after work or studying.
My advice would be to divide the boring jobs and stick to it. For example I'm in charge of dish washing, clothes washing and wiping surfaces. He's in charge or hoovering, cooking and taking the bins out. It means that all jobs are always taken care of without bickering over who should do it.
Money wise, we split 50/50. Our council tax offered a 25% discount but it depends where you live.
With reference to 'me' time, as long as you both have your own hobbies which I saw you did it will be fine. During exams i was a bit of a nightmare and didn't want to socialise or watch films as much but that only lasts a few weeks a year. But we did get two hamsters to keep me company whilst studying and when he was working and out.
Nothing beats coming home to your best friend/partner after work or studying.
Original post by Pinkberry_y
If you're already in a long term serious relationship I don't see the issue with it to be honest. The kinda relationships where people move in together after dating for like 6 months into university are the kind people hear horror stories or are warned about
We moved in at month 4 and everything's still going brilliantly but I see your point.
Original post by Jackieox
I live with my boyfriend! and we manage fine..
One thing about the finance thing and paying 50/50, it's not really fair to make him pay council tax for you to be honest... that's the only issue
One thing about the finance thing and paying 50/50, it's not really fair to make him pay council tax for you to be honest... that's the only issue
the council tax thing is up to OP and their boyfriend really... I lived with my partner while I qualified for CT and he didn't and we split it 50/50 as I'd moved to where he needed to be and we just took it as part of the cost of living together in the same place which he was always fine with
if OP earns a lot more than their partner makes it might make sense to chip in extra for the CT but only if that's what they agree
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